Sick of his comments

[RooRem2]

Every single fucking day he has to make me feel more shit than I already do about myself. About my weight, my skin, what I wear, even my teeth which with out sounding big headed, are quite nice. I lost 2 stone a couple of months ago which I have maintained but haven’t lost anymore since. “Should you be eating that” “diets going well then I see” if somebody big comes on tv, he says it’s me then laughs and says he’s only winding me up. His friend is getting married in august and he told me I need to get back on the diet because all his friends will be there and he doesn’t want me embarrassing him. Which of course he told me he was only joking (yeah right)🤔We went on a day out on Saturday and on the way home he said “I wasn’t perving but doesn’t it bother you when you see girls in nice summer clothes, I am gutted for you” “I’d love for you to be able to wear those gym clothes” The day before that it was about my spots. Yesterday I was laughing at something, he said “have you brushed your teeth today” (I had obviously) I got upset and like every time he says he was joking or that he’s only trying to help me. I’ve had enough but I guess I’m just used to it now. If I pull him up on something he says he tells me I need to lighten up and he says that I can’t take a joke. I hold it all in when he’s here but he’s at work now and I woke up and just burst into tears. I am fed up of his comments, the way he worms his way out of it and just life in general.

Do just that as your walking out of the door to your new home and your new life.

You think that would make him change?

It won't. He enjoys what he's doing too much

I guess I’m just used to it now

Good that you are posting here, that's a sign that you are not used to it snd it does still bother you.

He does it on purpose to try to make you feel worthless and unable to leave him.

Go on, surprise yourself. Make a plan and get away from him. For your DC, if not only for yourself. All the best

He likes hurting you and thinks it’s funny, that doesn’t make it a joke.

like if a respondent on this thread walked up to him and said “Imagine you sitting in apub on your own depressed because you’re sleeping in your car and only see your kids every other weekend HA HA”

wonder would he think it was funny

Don't let your children grow up in an environment where this is acceptable.
And never ever allow someone to treat you like this and get away with it.

You'd be a fool to stay OP. Please don't do it.

If you can't leave NOW, due to circumstances , make plans too, work out how it can be done, financially etc.

That man doesn't love you. He is intentionally putting you down, and he isn't joking. He just says he's joking to try and get away with what he is saying and make you look like your the one big out of order for "over-reacting" its bullying what he is doing to you, and emotional abuse like others have said.

Or Perhaps he actually thinks you look good, with the weightloss, and is scared shitless you're gonna realise your worth and leave him, so he is trying to put you down to keep your self esteem low and never leave him.

Either way, it's bad.

Has if worked ? Don't let him win. Leave with your head high.

Or on the other hand, they say/do nasty things, then you feel all sorts of emotions etc, then they wander back in and be nice, sometimes you respond accordingly, or you don't because of how you've not long been treated, and then it's so confusing so distressing.

He sounds like an absolute twat.

This is what my ex was like. He had contempt for people who didn't look after themselves, stemming from his own feelings about his "lazy, slovenly, disgusting" mother - and it was mainly women he had these feelings about, rather than men (although he would make derogatory comments about anyones' weight). If I acted in a way that reminded him of his mother, he felt "compelled" to tell me and make me look after myself because "if you loved me, you would want to change these things".

I was overweight and I was sometimes slovenly, but it got to the stage over many years where I felt I had to ask permission to put PJ's on at a certain time lest I was judged.

You know how crash diets are really bad for you?

Not if the crash weight loss is down to dumping 14st of that negging twatbadger.

Easier said than done, but leave him for the children. Not only will they see their Dad treat their mum so horribly, he could start on them or worse - they could copy his behaviour.

I guarantee that you are massively out of his league and he says this so you feel like you CANT leave, that its you thats lucky hes staying.

Babe I had this for four years
he told me to put on makeup in the airport before meeting his friends
i went on a weekend away and had got a 50s style bikini he wouldnt shut up about it
constant remarks about my weight
excatly the same
toes not painted
nails not painted
comments about teeth also
these guys all learn from the same book of bullshit honestly

it was chronic

anyway dumped him and even though I am single I have acheived far more in life than he ever will

twat

You said earlier “We private rent and I have my own money so it’d be easy for me to leave regarding all of that.”
You can find somewhere. Can you confide in anyone who might be able to help you find somewhere to stay, or live permanently?

He's a nasty piece of work.
Are you genuinly happy with him?

Don't answer me but ask yourself.

This has made me so sad to read as I went through a similar relationship which I left last year. Everything was a joke to him and I should just ‘unclench’ if I didn’t find things funny. It got to the point where my family were so shocked and told me that he doesn’t even appear to like me as his ‘funny comments’ were just constant put downs. It took me a while to realise it and accept how much it was effecting me to the point where I had such bad anxiety and self-esteem and I piled the weight on due to holding onto stress.

Well I finally left and I’m sat here in rented little apartment with my daughter. I’ve never felt happier. I dropped the weight naturally within a few months and got a job promotion. My daughter is so much happier seeing me settled and back to myself. Sometimes I go on dates when I can be bothered but generally just enjoy the peace and quiet and my own company. My life is back to being calm with kind people that support me in it. I no longer allow any toxic and negative people in my life.

He was so shocked at the break-up and I don’t think he could fully grasp what he had done wrong as apparently me telling him constantly that he’s upsetting me wasn’t enough to make him take it seriously. Only recently I’ve heard that he’s accepting that he messed up but it took a while for him to take any responsibility for it.

Please please leave, I waited too long and it really does effect the children more than we know. My daughter still brings up mean things he said to both of us - it’s so dreadful but we’re overcoming it ❤️ Life can be so peaceful and calm again.

OP I rarely comment on these threads, but felt compelled to respond to yours. He is quite simply a nasty cunt. You do not need that in your life.

Many years ago I had a partner who would from time to time make comments about my weight and said that no other man would want me if we broke up. He was also physically abusive.

He got the shock of his life when I told him I was leaving.

And not that it matters but I had no trouble attracting men. I know that I was gorgeous when I was younger so his shitty comments said more about him than me.

Leave your piece of shit partner and go have a lovely life.

Op I can't believe what I'm reading . My ex was awful to me with half of the shit your pathetic boyfriend says but no where near as bad as what your having to deal with . Dump him now please ! He's bullying you!!! The person who he is supposed to love !!! Know what . This is how bad it got with me . I didn't have a baby with him because I was scared how he would find me disgusting as I got bigger and after the birth . He's got some low confidence going on this is why he is saying all this crap to you! I wonder what he's insecure about ! Is he going bald ? Small dick ? 😂. I'd play him at his own game and I bet he would shut up . When I man comes on tv go for gold with the comments. But you need to leave op . This will not get any better x

Ok before you pack your bags and leave which I imagine is what most people on here would be suggesting. May I suggest something else. Have that big blow up verbal fight.
I noted that you mention when you push back he says you can't take a joke. So what if you can't take joke it's still hurtful. Let him see your anger, let him see your raw hurt. Don't let him hurt you and then tell you your wrong for being hurt. And if you have done that leave. But if you haven't I'd suggest doing so because men overall need women to be bluntly honest. If he gives a dig and you tell him you don't like it and then he says you can't take joke and you slink off upset. He thinks he's right and it wasn't that bad. But take the same scenario and instead of slinking of you tell him I don't care if I can't take a joke. What you are doing is rude and abusive . It is hurtful and it needs to stop.

Happened to me. left (took a while due to appalling self esteem) but dear god I was so happy after a few months. Then met lovely DH who despite me actually getting fat has never said a word about it.

this horrible piece of shit is grinding you down. You don’t actually have any reason to stay and tbh the kids are a good reason to leave.

It's not a 'joke', it's cruelty. If he took a small knife and stabbed you several times a day, everyone would see that he's harming you. He's doing that, but with words.

Under all the pain and the oppression, you still exist. You know you are worth more.

Are you leaving, or are you throwing him out? Those are the options. Check with yourself - I'm right, aren't I? Now, today is a great day for making your life so much better...

Don't accept any crap from him. He won't change. He'll promise he will, to make his own life easy. Those are lies.

What's the betting he's balder by the day

What a horrible man. I’ll bet my last tenner he’d never accept you doing similar to him. I am sure you have let him know this makes you feel too…yet he continues. Absolutely dreadful.

So let us work out how you can have somewhere to go.

So rentals have a look what you could afford yourself, you might be able to get benefit contributions once you are a single parent, you get a reduction on council tax, child benefit and child maintenance from him unless he takes the children 50/50 and that means school runs, pick ups not just from after work one evening to dropping them off before school the following day.

Get a smaller rental to start, can the kids share a bedroom for the time being?

Then let him know you are taking your name of the current tenancy and he needs to make arrangements for himself and the kids when he has them.

You could be out by summer holidays, very latest start of next school year. Think about it.

Leave this man. He's a critical ass with a bad sense of humour. Humour is supposed to be funny - this is far from it.
He does nothing to make your life better, he brings you down.
Your children will pick up on his despicable behaviour and may -I hope not- start acting like their father. They will become bullies in their own right.

I was in the same situation once. It didn't last long. When I left I told him that he could go and look in the mirror to see 10/10.
Do not take this, not from anyone !
Good luck !

Oh my ex was exactly like this. Insults were jokes. At the time I was so so broody but somewhere deep down I must have known that it was a bad idea. I put up with so much shit from this man - one day he called me something derogatory and laughed in my face, and I just got this flash of a future with him - where he's getting a toddler to laugh along with him calling me "Mummy the stupid cunt"

And that was it for me. I knew my babies whenever I had them, deserved better than a life listening to this, learning this, and growing up to be either the abuser or the abused.