Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He has moved on whilst I'm sat crying over him...

113 replies

kooll · 30/05/2022 11:49

Pretty much that.
It's been 20 months since we split.
18 months he met someone and is now engaged and my life has not changed.
He has been abroad with her 4 times,multiple trips away in the Uk with her.
I've been nowhere.
I go out once every couple of months with my friend ...the rest of the time I'm home alone.
How pathetic is that
He has this fun new life and my life hasn't changed.

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 30/05/2022 11:51

How do you know so much about it?

Original poster
kooll · 30/05/2022 11:52

We are still on each other's Facebook /Instagram /Snapchat etc

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 30/05/2022 11:53

Well then block him? Not sure why you’re still on his SM tbh you broke up 2 years ago.

NotaCoolMum · 30/05/2022 11:54

You’re torturing yourself by keeping him on social media- delete him and start getting out there 🌻

gamerchick · 30/05/2022 11:56

How do you know? The first thing you need to do is cut off any contact and any news gathering. It won't bring you any peace.

Furrbabymama87 · 30/05/2022 11:56

Don't compare yourself to other people because it isn't a measure of your own self worth. He's not part of your life anymore so you don't need to know what he's up to. Block his number and delete him on Facebook or whatever it is you're seeing all this on. There's nothing wrong with focusing on you after the end of a relationship. Some people need time to process things before they dive straight in with a new partner. And even though it's been 20 months that doesn't mean you should be with a new partner by now. If you are wanting to meet someone, try online dating.

gamerchick · 30/05/2022 11:56

Yeah time to delete him from everything OP.

DenholmElliot1 · 30/05/2022 11:57

Yep! Unfriend him on all those apps and get yourself out and about. Why do you spend so much time home alone? Is it for financial reasons? If it's not i'd join a few clubs that interest you - not with the intention of looking for a life partner, but with the intention of doing something you enjoy.

audweb · 30/05/2022 11:58

Block him and then figure out what you want to do with your life.

i spend most of my time at home as I have kid, is that why you are not going out and about? Or is it something else?

Original poster
kooll · 30/05/2022 11:58

I think I need too.
When we were together he posted nothing on social media.
Now it's like he has had a personality transplant
Even posted a "she said yes" post
And here's me sat home alone watching friends

OP posts:
Original poster
kooll · 30/05/2022 11:59

No I don't have any kids or money issues
It's simply because my 4 close friends all have partners /family's now so they go on holiday /days out etc with them

OP posts:
gamerchick · 30/05/2022 12:01

Delete.him. go do it now.

BadWolf2022 · 30/05/2022 12:01

I mean this nicely but you need to delete and block and move on op. You clearly wasn't right for each other - obsessing and watching his every move will only drag you down further.

You need to move on. Get yourself out there.

Suprima · 30/05/2022 12:03

kooll · 30/05/2022 11:58

I think I need too.
When we were together he posted nothing on social media.
Now it's like he has had a personality transplant
Even posted a "she said yes" post
And here's me sat home alone watching friends

It’s because you weren’t ‘dream girl’ ‘the one’ whatever you want to call it. Please accept this. He didn’t want to do those things with you. I known it hurts, but this man doesn’t deserve you moping over him 2 years later.

Time to delete from all social media and move on.

By all accounts- you don’t go out or do anything? Have you put yourself out there? Dating? Hobby groups? Study?

His life has changed and seems fun because he obviously has done those things.

TheMooch · 30/05/2022 12:10

I mean this kindly but stop sitting waiting for things to happen.
List what you like doing, what you'd like to do and start building those up and brave and join apt groups. Sometimes you need to shake things up to get it moving for you.

And delete him, its eating away at you. And you are worth more than this.

ChagSameachDoreen · 30/05/2022 12:13

My gosh, just delete his sorry ass!

FinallyHere · 30/05/2022 12:25

There is some good news in all this. The part that needs to change is exactly the part that his in your control.

Block him on FaceBook, then focus on you and what you want to do.

The best revenge is building yourself a brilliant life so you are to busy enjoying yourself to wonder what he is up to.

Love that life for yourself

MissStarry · 30/05/2022 12:34

Delete him on everything, you’re just torturing yourself by keeping him on there.

Allow yourself to heal and move on.

Triffid1 · 30/05/2022 12:34

Definitely stop following on SM.

Then go out there and get your life back. If your friends have partners and children, it's true that they're probably not as available. But I don't see why you can't suggest the occasional dinner or drinks out, or meet during the day for lunch or a shopping trip, or suggest a day out somewhere.

Unless you loathe their DC, you could also suggest meeting up with their children or having them over to yours etc.

Then go out and find other things. I know it's not easy but join a gym perhaps. Or get a dog and get out there walking it regularly (good for your mental health and you might start meeting other dog walkers). Find things you're interested in and do them alone - eg for me, when I was single and on the odd occasion I have more than a few hours alone, I love going to museums by myself. I feel less self conscious than when out for a meal alone and I find it brilliant to be able to walk around and look at what I want to and skip all the bits I don't. It doesn't help you meet people but it does seep your life interesting. Do whatever the equivalent is for you - shopping, hiking, art etc etc.

Carbaholic876 · 30/05/2022 12:40

Why did you split up? I mean whose decision was it?
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've felt exactly the same before, it's one of the worst feelings I've ever had.
Agree with what everybody else is saying, I think if you're sitting at home alone on social media then you will feel worse.
Get out as much as you can, even if it's on your own at first.
These things really do heal in time.
Several men in the past I've been absolutely heartbroken over, depressed, thought I'd never move on. Today i honestly look back and laugh and be happy that I'm not with them.
You will feel the same in time and you will meet someone new who's better for you

Badbaddog · 30/05/2022 13:00

I mean this kindly OP but stop moping, get off your butt and DO something with your life! Step 1 stop all means of contact/update with this person you used to know. Step 2 make some new friends. Good luck

BiscoffSundae · 30/05/2022 13:16

It doesn’t sound healthy tbh crying over a relationship that ended two years ago, have you met anyone since? You don’t have the excuse of kids not to be able to go out and date or just meet people if your friends are busy join some groups and make new ones?

Original poster
kooll · 30/05/2022 13:34

It's not healthy at all and I realise that.
Every day I think of him and relive our conversations together and things we did together.
He didn't treat me great and I'm always wondering the whys and the what ifs etc
I miss talking to him even tho I know he doesn't miss me as I was just replaced so easily.

OP posts:
LampLighter414 · 30/05/2022 13:53

Good for him

Maybe you need to try dating and find someone for you?

Original poster
kooll · 30/05/2022 13:55

@LampLighter414 it always seems like the nasty guys seem to get on well in life

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread