He has moved on whilst I'm sat crying over him...

[kooll]

Pretty much that.
It's been 20 months since we split.
18 months he met someone and is now engaged and my life has not changed.
He has been abroad with her 4 times,multiple trips away in the Uk with her.
I've been nowhere.
I go out once every couple of months with my friend ...the rest of the time I'm home alone.
How pathetic is that
He has this fun new life and my life hasn't changed.

I do know he mentioned previously he uses SM to wind people up.

Well he’s potentially very childish then. And even more reason to look the other way and detach properly. He might have grown up and is just getting on with things. Likewise a good reason to stop looking and focus on getting what you want for yourself. You’re not hurting him or his partner, but you’re suffering.

Don't react to him. Don't reply to him if he contacts you or like or comment on his posts. If its too difficult for you not to look at his social media, then put yourself in a role of monitoring it for dodgy behaviour. Go grey rock. This is not a good man. He manipulates and uses people and makes them dependent on him, then walks out on them and enjoys their upset.

A lot of what you are seeing is probably for show, to create a certain impression of him to outsiders. Don't be his willing audience. If you must be an audience, be a cynical audience.

If he uses social media to ‘wind people up’, just think of the kick you’d give him if he knew you were still pining nearly two years on?

Christ. Use that knowledge as the boot up your arse to block block blockety block and stop obsessively looking at him. It’s time to rip off the plaster.

You're doing this to yourself. You need to block and delete him everywhere so you can start to heal and move on.

I used to fund raise for a DV charity so I’m not a counsellor but I did have many in depth discussions with other volunteers and workers plus we were given information on how men abuse women in all forms.

What did he actually do when you say he ended it cruelly?

Plus what was your childhood like? The time passed since you broke up is a long time and your obsession is very unhealthy. You also mention good friends but honestly good friends don’t actually relay stuff that you can do nothing about but they know will hurt you.

When we were at University I introduced a friend to my sister and they dated for about 18 months. She was his one but she ended it. He has always wondered why, I know the reason but I will never tell him because it will just hurt him. It’s nothing bad, he is the sweetest guy ever.

The last few months he would try and make me jealous.
I found out he was texting 4 other women
Found out he was on 3 dating sites talking to women.
When I asked why he got defensive and made out as if I was being neurotic.
My mum died two weeks before we ended and he was still horrible to me,ignoring my calls when I rang him.

He would text any other women but me.
Speak nice to everyone else but speak to me with such destain.

You are in control of your life. Go and live your life instead of watching your ex live theirs...

Two questions to ask yourself

What have YOU done to improve YOUR OWN life in the past two years?

Are you expecting change to come from outside yourself? It doesn't, sorry.

Start your next post with "i"
I WILL....

Not with^he
Your life is not defined by what he thinks or does
Put him in the bin

I dont agree an exe will alway try torture the person the person they were with before why hasnt HE unfriended her and blocked her then if he id just living his life. The guy is still the same bully just posting in this relationship which he wasnt doing it before to put you down in the dumps just dont entertain the entertainer he will get bored stop posting I gurtee you

OP NEVER rely on others, especially one person, to make you happy. the only person who can make you happy is YOU.

immediately stop looking at him on SM, this way madness lies. block, delete. Then get yourself out the house. If money is not an issue, join a gym, exercise is marvellous for your mental health, take up some hobbies, what are your interests?

At this point the only person holding you back is you. Why waste your life on someone who doesn't want or care for you? Get out there an live your life. x

Oh OP, I'm sorry that you're in this situation and about losing your Mum. Are you sure some of your grief at losing her hasn't got tangled up with him because you can still see him? Sometimes things like bad breakups can happen at times when we'd really be struggling anyway and it makes it so much harder because it hits you harder when you're vulnerable.
It's in your own best interests to block him on SM, but do see if you can pull apart your grieving threads a bit here too, you're grieving two big losses at the same time.