OLD - video sex before face to face meet up

[NewChapter22]

Met this guy online. All seemed perfect, ticked a lot of boxes, we have been talking (mainly video calls) for almost 3 weeks now. He even asked if we can both get off the dating site (exclusive) so we can get to know each other properly. He is currently overseas for work and coming back beginning of June so we haven't met face to face yet, but have made arrangements to meet as soon as he is in the country. The chemistry is there (at least judging by video calls!). Yesterday, we both engaged in cybersex (or whatever is called!) and I kind feel weird about it now as we haven't both met face to face (I was fully clothed btw! So no risk of pics/videos going anywhere). I haven't had sex for over a year and I fancy him. Would you still meet him in real life? Worried he's another guy who is only after sex...and kind of crossed my own boundary doing that. I normally block anyone who starts talking about sex before initial date 🤦🏻‍♀️ Plus I am thinking we are taking things a bit too far, too quickly given we haven't met in real life yet...

I have only been OLD for about 4 months or so so new to all of this! Any advice welcome!

Well you were both up for it so that doesnt make him a creep. You said he wanted to be exclusive/off dating apps so just meet him if you want to, then see how you feel. Or don't. Make your own decision

The MN pearl clutching about phone sex is funny🤣.

I have no issue with phone sex - just needs to be with someone I have actually been to bed with prior.

‘Didn’t he just look simply revolting while doing this?’

Probably not. Most of them look hot as fuck.

You watched a man masturbate...
Bet he loved that!
For some reason, I'm imagining Alan Partridge .

'I am a sex person now, Lynne!'

And me...First thought 'He'll be recording this.Hopefully not to upload somewhere.''

Why would a masturbating man look 'simply revolting'? Maybe he looked utterly hot? So much judgement about a woman enjoying a sexual experience. It's tragic.

Nothing wrong with being a sex person 😉

Hmm How can you engage in cyber sex without taking your clothes off you must have been in compromising positions or something

are you really struggling to understand this? You do know you don’t actually have to be naked and spread-eagled to masturbate?

Excellent post @Lookingoutside.

There have been some awful posts directed at the op here, full of judgement and shame, all because she’s participated in a consensual sexual act. How dare she! And with someone she’s never met in person. The horror! Who needs men to shame women when other women do it so much, eh?

Also, the man is being called a creep- why? For wanting to engage in a sexual act with a woman he’s attracted to? What a disgusting perv! The pearl-clutching here is awful.

It’s funny how op and the man would have a lot less judgment for meeting up and having actual sex without knowing each other first.

😀😀😀

I don’t think that’s “funny”? After two years of Covid I am now well versed in seeing colleagues in the flesh after seeing them on teams for so long. They are the same but very different and not what you’d thought physically.

in addition. Speaking to someone for three weeks on video far from means your know him, so wanking off on video for what is basically a stranger and or watching them wank off, for most women, and many men, is a boundary they won’t cross.

my concern is the op thought she needed to do this, to keep him interested.

as for the poster who made the comment we were all bitter hags, aye, because we don’t wank off for randoms we encounter OLD, before we meet them, makes us bitter hags, 😂

I’m guessing that poster is a bloke, I’d be surprised if any woman was abusing other women and calling them bitter hags if they won’t wank of for men they’ve not met.

Well said, and agree there is far too much of this (personal attacks) on MN. Can only assume it gives some people a thrill to say things online that they would never dare in person.

The shock and horror on this thread made me giggle.

There is not one right way to date. People enjoy different things and get off in different ways. My partner and I waited a few months before we did that, but there were plenty of (headless) n00d pics and vids swapped before that. It was a lot of fun. I'm not ashamed or disgusted lol.

OP, don't overthink it. The chemistry must be intense. If you wanted to do it, and you enjoyed doing it, then that's all that matters. Don't let people slut-shame you or convince you you are the victim of some nefarious pervert who is right now uploading your dirty talking to PornHub.

This is not the way to get a nice boyfriend. I wouldn’t even allude to sex until you know them better ( in real life).

...my concern is the op thought she needed to do this, to keep him interested.

Or maybe she just really fancies him and was feeling horny?!

This is not the way to get a nice boyfriend...

Hark, the 1950s are calling...

What do you think the OP got out of the experience @MintyCedricRidesAgain?

Do you think women can't enjoy turning a man on and watching him orgasm?
sad

I wonder if those Soho peep-shows still exist? Wank cubicles for people in want of an orgasm. I guess having such general access to technology with willing participants has put them out of business.

Beat me to it 😁!!

It doesn't read like the OP was an unwilling or unenthusiastic participant...merely that she had a bit of a WTF moment after the event.

It is possible to have a connection with someone over the phone or Internet - emotionally and/or sexually as well as in person...

I regularly have phone sex with my partner as we're very long distance and haven't seen each other since Feb. But I don't sit there fully clothing while he wanks off, we are both eager participants

Mumsnetters seem to portray themselves as very worldly until it comes to sex. Women are expected to be innocent and virtuous, whereas a man engaging in a consensual sex act is considered "revolting" and "a dirty creep". What era are we actually living in here?

It’s BRILLIANT isn’t it. Women aren’t allowed to enjoy anything beyond vanilla missionary. Not more than a sniff of alcohol. Social occasions are generally totally miserable.

Wonderful to read the po-faced comments.

Well, the only acceptable reason to have sex is for procreation. And try not enjoy it too much because if you do you're clearly a misogynistic slut with low boundaries or something.