What's the best way for my DH to pay back his debts?

[Onlyrainbows]

My husband withheld at least £10k (more like £15k) of his net salary over the past 4 years to spend it on himself. In principle that would be OK, but as a family we went into debt to cover the holes this created. Now that he's come clean, there's still £3.5k of debt directly related to his overspending. I've told him he should work extra hours or get a second job, because quite frankly I'm starting to get tired that even though I make more than enough to live in a decent life (and stress free) I still get stressed because as much as the debt is becoming smaller, I never get to "enjoy" my hard earned money. (And he obviously did for the past four years).

On both!

Ok well that is outrageous then.
I wouldn't care about muffins, coffees etc, but you have to pay his debt because he was on onlyfans? That's disgusting
He expected you to subsidise his cost of living while he spent his own money on only fans and he hasn't come up with any plan to clear the rest of his debt...WOW

Yes basically!!

But he has come up with a plan. One the Op agreed to.

he gives his entire wage to op. A portion of that is bills and a portion is towards the debt.

if op has 4.5k coming in every month, no one would expect him to pay his whole wages to the bills. If his portion of the bills is 1k per month and he earns £1500 per month, he is paying £500 off the debt.

I mean, he sounds like a dick. But I think it’s odd for op to claim he isn’t paying off the debt and make out she doesn’t have much money when she has approx 6k per month to use.

Actually that's not the "plan" per se. He agreed to pay his salaries to the joint account because I had enough of the lack of transparency. It was to become financially "equals". I pay everything in, so he should do the same.

Not necessarily to pay his debts off . In fact I think his overdraft use only came to light after the fact that he put all of his salary in the joint account (or might have happened at the same time, I can't remember if I'm honest).

Yes so the plan is full transparency.

You chose to stay and sort it out as a couple. You chose to accept the plan.

He is paying a portion of the debt off. Unless you would usually expect a lower earner to give his whole wage to go on bills, during normal times.

Honestly, I would have left him so I am not trying to defend him but I don’t agree with your logic, that he isn’t paying this debt off.

I'm not saying he's not paying it, but given the amounts over the years, I would have expected him to make more of an effort. I know I would.

Before all of this mess was crystal clear, the idea was that he'd keep £100 per month. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but it was exactly the same for me. Those £100 in theory were to do whatever we wanted to do with them (even OF if that's really what he wanted). Plus his bonus (one of them) would be for him to keep.

For the rest of the year he won't get the £100, so I think realistically that's how he's paying his overdraft debt and the rest well, the household has absorbed it.