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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Spookster II

266 replies

spook · 23/11/2004 10:04

Hi Freckle. I can't post on my thread!! It just keeps freezing my screen and has done for a couple of days. The last post was a fluke so here's a new one!!
I'm not going to Ibiza I'm going to stay with some friends down south. I think Ibiza will just be too depressing on our own-my family won't even be there. But he's obviously not best pleased. I didn't get any response to the news whatesoever.
DS1 trashed the kitchen again last night. It is absolutely horrific to listen to. There's nothing I can do other than let him get it out of his system. He got an assesment from school yesterday and it was nearly all A5's. (outstanding achievment and effort) So there are luckily no worries there. He just saves it all up for when he gets home. DS2 is starting to be affected. God it's heartbreaking. Feel like phoning him and just holding the phone up to the screaming but what good will that do??? Just make him angry with me coz of his guilt.
Thanks for your mail honey. Will reply today XXXXX

OP posts:
Blu · 10/12/2004 16:35

Wow! Top trapping, Spook!
So, how did it go? What are you doing tonight (apart from 'getting it over with)? Where are the boys?
And this is just for fun, right?

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 10/12/2004 16:40

Not sure what we're doing tonight. Just waiting to hear from him. If he can't get out of work I'm going on a big flash do to a casino. So either way I may get lucky tonight!!!! Shock It's going absolutely FAB thanks honey. Ofcourse it's not just for fun. You know me I fall hard!

Blu · 10/12/2004 17:09

Oooh, I'm all of a tingle.
Something nice in your Christmas stockings, Spook!

IwigitcouldbeXmaseveryday · 10/12/2004 20:35

Give him a night he won't forget Spook, drain his nutsBlush

FestiveFrex · 11/12/2004 14:14

Come on Spook. It's nearly mid-afternoon and we haven't had the latest instalment!

IwigitcouldbeXmaseveryday · 11/12/2004 14:46

She's probably still got him tied to the bedShock

FestiveFrex · 12/12/2004 10:00

Spook, I don't believe that you are still on your date, so 'fess up!

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 12/12/2004 10:22

Hi girls. I'm sorry not been on. The date never happened!! He was working till gone 10 on Friday Sad
I'm afraid I have a sneaky feeling he may be messing me about because after the initial flurry of excitement and activity and frantic texting he has gone surprisingly quiet. I think he may have sussed my air of desperation and taken his bunny home for fear of being boiled. Shit.
Bi=ut I did have some very surprising news yeaterday. I got the court date for my Decree Nisi.
It will be at 10am on Jan 24th-EXACTLY a year to the day that I found out about the affair!
How WEIRD is that. Trying to work out the symbolism of it but can't quite get my head round it.
Oh well-Spook moves on to live another day.
Sorry about keeping you in suspense about my non-existent date. I did have a good night out on Friday though anyway for which I paid the price heavily yesterday!!
Hope you're all having a good weekend (((((hugs)))))

FestiveFrex · 12/12/2004 10:36

Ah well, perhaps it's as well it seems to be petering out before you fall hard, as you put it.

Glad you had a good night out anyway.

Hmm, see what you mean out the date for the decree nisi. Makes it sort of neat, doesn't it?

Onwards and upwards.

anorak · 18/12/2004 11:58

Spook? Is everything okay, I haven't seen you posting for a while.

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 18/12/2004 19:05

Hello hunny.I'm just fine.My lovely lovely man has turned into a bit of an unreliable buggar but I do love him so.Unfortunately he's moving away in January Dh knows I have a boyfriend and isn't exactly overjoyed. I got a very nice card and presents off him today (yes I opened them ) But I am doing great. Not really dreading Christmas as I probably should be. Who's the loser this hristmas???? Not me that's for sure! XXXXXXXX

FestiveFrex · 18/12/2004 20:04

Sorry to hear this, Spook. Just look on him as a stepping stone to better things. He's shown you that you can move on and that there is a better life out there for you.

Keep posting - even if it's only boring stuff - so that we know things are OK.

Wishing you a warm and fuzzy Christmas.

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 19/12/2004 09:14

Good morning all. Can anyone shed some light on this message on my Christmas card from exDH???? Aswell as some beautiful presents ( I opened them!!!!) the card said....Happy Christmas "affectionate nickname", Here's to better days ahead. We'll always be there,we'll always care. Love "affectionate nickname"
I'm sure there's no hidden meaning in there but I just don't quite get it.
Any ideas girls?????XXXX

FestiveFrex · 19/12/2004 09:15

His reaction to finding out that you have a boyfriend?? Typical male: I can have a girlfriend and leave my family, but woe betide anyone who tries to get near my wife, because I'll make sure there's no future for them.

Seem familiar?

Don't read anything positive into it. He's probably just had too much Christmas spirit.

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 19/12/2004 15:04

Thanks FF! I wouldn't dream f reading anything positive into it I promise. I just find it puzzling. But nothing much makes sense to me at the moment. My new relationship is as puzzling as they come!
Bloody fecking men.

anorak · 19/12/2004 19:24

Hold out till you get a good one spook. Don't settle for second best, or you'll have the engaged sign up when the right man does come along.

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 20/12/2004 14:39

God-I am really angry and puzzled. Today is my wedding anniversary and DH had to drop the boys off this morning and say goodbye to them till after Christmas. He didn't even come down the drive.He dropped them at the top and dumped their bag in the middle of the drive. I texted him to ask him why and he replied "just can't see you today" Fair enough.Fine by me.
But a while ago I asked if he could drop DS2's hat thru the door-he will need it over Christmas.I got a really uncaring rude reply. So I messaged him (bearing in mind he knows I have a boyfriend)
"What on earth have I done to turn your crank now?Got myself a life maybe? I can only apologise.U obviously prefer me on my knees.Happy Anniversary charmer"

So.....this just came.."Don't give me that bullshit.I have just said goodbye to my kids till after xmas and am very upset.It's not about you,and don't wish me happy anniversary, it's not appropriate and its not to be takne lightly.I am also very angry so leave me alone"

WTF!!! One minute he's charm personified at the nativity moving in for a kiss and delivering a big bag of presents for me and today this??? WTF have I done now??????????

snowmeltsonthebeach · 20/12/2004 14:57

Sorry you are having to deal with his ups and downs - I guess he must be feeling pretty emotional right now (even though it was his choice that got him into this situation)....I would just leave him alone for time being and don't let it worry you - just concentrate on giving you and the boys a VERY MERRY Christmas... Is it snowing there, Spookster?

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 20/12/2004 15:07

Well it was snowing like billyoh earlier and the sky looks heavily laden! And it's bloody FREEZING! I have a really long drive tomorrow.I hope the weathers OK. Do you have snow Snow...?

snowmeltsonthebeach · 20/12/2004 15:22

no snow for snow... am in City and its getting dark already..... Where are you off to for christmas?

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 20/12/2004 15:26

I'm coming down to London Snow..heading your way. And it's nearly dark here too! Going off to deliver pressies now in my guise as Mrs Claus!

snowmeltsonthebeach · 20/12/2004 15:30

Well you have a lovely time over Christmas and I hope you get the chance to have a mooch around some areas house hunting....stop by Greenwich if you are in the neighbourhood - its very lovely.... although I know you are veering towards SW London.

deegward · 20/12/2004 15:46

Spook, haven't been into your thread recently, and was so pleased to see that you have a boyfriend, (well who wouldn't want a lovely lady such as you) and I think from glancing down the tread things are better than they have been. You have come such a long way since last year, and you and your boys deserve the best Christmas possible. Take care and stay strong. Merry Christmas

twinkletwinklelittlespook · 20/12/2004 16:15

Oh thankyou so much Deegward.Merry Christmas to you too honey-and Snow-I will be thinking of you if we have a white Christmas! XXXXXXX

alilujahcatsg · 20/12/2004 16:22

on the card thing - I had a conv here with a bloke who was really thrown that his gf was so convinced they were for the longterm just after her bday. Turned out he'd signed the card "all love" or similar without thinking that us girls then analyse every syllable for true inner meaning while them boys just write whatever dribble pops into their heads. Mebbe your ex falls into that camp??