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Original poster

Is this too weird?

133 replies

Mam576 · 07/05/2022 12:30

A while ago I had a minor break in at home, detective (super hot) come the next day to take statement. He stayed for over an hour because my career also has involvement with police. So we chatted mainly about that, he’s been helping me via email with a few things. He was talking about his kids (he has 2) and I just thought he was a genuinely nice person, even though I felt really attracted to him I presumed he was probably on a relationship etc.

Anyway, this morning I am 95% sure I seen him on Tinder! Same name, really really looked like him (only seen him once in Dec!) but then I thought he has quite a senior job would he really be on Tinder?! I’m soooo tempted to email him now and say do you have private email address (I’ve just got his work one) and say hey did I see you on Tinder 😂

would that be really weird? I have his mobile number as has to send him WhatsApp messages of break in but I wouldn’t dare text him haha.

OP posts:
FuckThisShit123 · 08/05/2022 16:06

SailingNotSurfing · 07/05/2022 12:57

He sounds incredibly unprofessional

Man hating on MN finest! How in the blue fuck is he unprofessional? For registering an online dating profile? How dare a single, professional individual look for a potential partner online. What a bastard.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 08/05/2022 16:11

@FuckThisShit123

Man hating on MN finest! How in the blue fuck is he unprofessional? For registering an online dating profile? How dare a single, professional individual look for a potential partner online. What a bastard.

Sigh.

Nobody has said he's unprofessional for having a tinder profile.

He is for giving his number, staying an hour post statement chatting about personal stuff eg his kids, continuing to chat about non case related stuff on WhatsApp - all with a victim of a case he was working on.

It's against procedure and policy. PP's have shared the exact wording of the policies he agreed to abide by when he became a police officer as regards establishing relationships with victims, witnesses or perpetrators of a case you're working on. He is therefore being unprofessional.

Nothing to do with him having a tinder profile which would be a perfectly appropriate way to meet women.

Athleticpotential · 08/05/2022 16:14

FuckThisShit123 · 08/05/2022 16:06

Man hating on MN finest! How in the blue fuck is he unprofessional? For registering an online dating profile? How dare a single, professional individual look for a potential partner online. What a bastard.

Show quote history

Have you read any of the thread? He apparently hasn't registered dating profile.

twistingmylemon · 08/05/2022 16:33

FuckThisShit123 · 08/05/2022 16:06

Man hating on MN finest! How in the blue fuck is he unprofessional? For registering an online dating profile? How dare a single, professional individual look for a potential partner online. What a bastard.

Show quote history

Are you ok, hun? Did you forget to read the thread before you decided to start talking out of your arse? The answers are in there for you already.

CorsicaDreaming · 08/05/2022 16:49

@FuckThisShit123 - the debate is whether a police officer can ever date someone who they've met via work - I'm saying yes if it's a minor crime like a minor break in. Others are saying no not ever, you can't have any relationship with someone you've met as a victim of crime, under any circumstances, and forever more...

Original poster
Mam576 · 08/05/2022 20:14

CorsicaDreaming · 08/05/2022 14:36

@Mam576 - sounds to me like he's giving you much more time than he needs to ,so he is interested possibly...

I'd send him a WhatsApp saying something like,

"I'd like to have a quick chat with you about something that's not work related, is there a good time I could give you a ring, or possibly meet for a coffee?"

I expect he will get what you mean from that, but no professional lines are crossed. And no text / email trail on works phone.

Then if he's keen on something more than just work related he will come back and suggest meeting for coffee - if not, he'll somehow dodge it.

I may send that message in a couple of days time, thank you, I think that's the best bet, although if I ever bumped into him on the job and I had sent that message I would feel super awkward. But like you say its probably the only way to see

OP posts:
CorsicaDreaming · 08/05/2022 21:25

@Mam576 - perhaps you need to think of something plausible it could be in case he says no and then you bump into him later and he asks you, if you're worried it would be awkward.

  • "oh no worries, a friend was having a bit of an issue and I wanted to ask you about how restraining orders worked for her / I was having a issue with a neighbour and it was a bit tricky at the time, but no worries it's sorted now".

But I think you can end up over thinking it.
And tying yourself up in knots once you start inventing cover stories...

I'd just be straight up and then if needed just brazen it out with a smile and a "Oh hi, how are you?" If you saw him at work again.

PortalooSunset · 08/05/2022 21:28

Mam576 · 08/05/2022 20:14

I may send that message in a couple of days time, thank you, I think that's the best bet, although if I ever bumped into him on the job and I had sent that message I would feel super awkward. But like you say its probably the only way to see

Show quote history

More or less "super awkward" than if you shagged him and it didn't work out?

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