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Original poster

Is this too weird?

133 replies

Mam576 · 07/05/2022 12:30

A while ago I had a minor break in at home, detective (super hot) come the next day to take statement. He stayed for over an hour because my career also has involvement with police. So we chatted mainly about that, he’s been helping me via email with a few things. He was talking about his kids (he has 2) and I just thought he was a genuinely nice person, even though I felt really attracted to him I presumed he was probably on a relationship etc.

Anyway, this morning I am 95% sure I seen him on Tinder! Same name, really really looked like him (only seen him once in Dec!) but then I thought he has quite a senior job would he really be on Tinder?! I’m soooo tempted to email him now and say do you have private email address (I’ve just got his work one) and say hey did I see you on Tinder 😂

would that be really weird? I have his mobile number as has to send him WhatsApp messages of break in but I wouldn’t dare text him haha.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 13:33

@WoodenClock I don’t think he would be able to put his position in jeopardy, that’s why I’m prepared to send a message - what do I have to loose

OP posts:
WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 13:40

Mam576 · 07/05/2022 13:33

@WoodenClock I don’t think he would be able to put his position in jeopardy, that’s why I’m prepared to send a message - what do I have to loose

And yet he's prepared to spend far too long with a crime victim for no good reason and then be in regular contact with the victim for ostensibly business reasons, even though she's not at all clear what his role or rank is? Grin

Does he not use an email signature on all these business emails?

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 13:45

Haha yes he does, it’s an official police email. He’s a detective Constable. He come for a victim statement.

OP posts:
WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 13:49

OK, but in the last hour or so he's gone from "senior detective" to "don't know how senior he is" to definitely "detective constable"

ElspethBoomingHowsen · 07/05/2022 13:50

Just match on tinder. Simple!

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 13:50

I’ve just checked his email signature to check, he’s ‘senior’ in relation to a unit that he heads

OP posts:
Bimster · 07/05/2022 13:53

Mam576 · 07/05/2022 13:45

Haha yes he does, it’s an official police email. He’s a detective Constable. He come for a victim statement.

DC isn’t senior.

Just do it via Tinder. Messaging to say you’ve seen him on there would be a bit weird and stallky.

WoodenClock · 07/05/2022 13:55

Either he's feeding you a load of rubbish or you're doing it to us Grin

Neverreturntoathread · 07/05/2022 13:57

You’re a victim of crime, he’s a police officer investigating that crime. If you really like him then don’t approach him as you could get him into a lot of trouble.

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 14:03

the case has closed now so surely that wouldn’t get him into trouble?

OP posts:
NuggetofNougat · 07/05/2022 14:15

Do it via tinder, if you don't match that's your answer, really simple. You don't need to go down any other avenues when there's a really obvious option right in front of you. If he's not on it often, well, just be patient, he'll check eventually, and if he's not checking then maybe his profile isn't active for a good reason. In answer to your question, yes, contacting him for his private email to ask him if you saw him on Tinder would be weird imo.

username109 · 07/05/2022 14:29

You've asked if it's weird... 99% of people have said yes, and you're planning on doing it anyway?

Happierthanever91 · 07/05/2022 14:29

Definitely don't email him. Swipe right and if it matches then you know he's interested, if not then no harm done

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 07/05/2022 14:33

Mam576 · 07/05/2022 13:33

@WoodenClock I don’t think he would be able to put his position in jeopardy, that’s why I’m prepared to send a message - what do I have to loose

OK. Imagine you're at work, dealing with a regular client with whom you've developed a rapport. He suddenly emails you, at work, and says "hey did I see you on tinder?"

Do you think that's appropriate? Or would you think he didn't respect your professional boundaries and therefore turn him down?

That's what you've got to lose, potentially. I'd say there's a higher chance of him being interested via tinder than an out-of-the-blue advance on a work email.

D0lphine · 07/05/2022 14:34

Loads of this is so so wrong

FiveNineFive · 07/05/2022 14:34

Thingsdogetbetter · 07/05/2022 13:06

He's a senior detective and turned up for a minor break-in? And stayed chatting for an hour? And you've been using WhatsApp to discuss a minor break-in case? Where does a police force have so few cases that detectives turn up for a minor break-in and have time for chats and follow-ups?

Midsommer. OP I'd move if I were you!

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 14:35

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation That helps put it into perspective thank you

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 07/05/2022 14:44

Why don’t you want to do it on tinder, “what if he doesn’t use it or doesn’t see you’ve matched?” 🙄 I mean really? Just do it on tinder or don’t do it

melcalfe · 07/05/2022 14:45

Why would a senior detective attend a minor break in?

DivorcedAndDelighted · 07/05/2022 14:45

You've got him on WhatsApp, so you could contact him there, definitely not via work email, and ask if he'd fancy a drink some time? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Personally I wouldn't worry at all about the fact that he was extra helpful re your break-in; he's human, presumably, not a robot, so if being friendly and not doing anything at all bad is "being unprofessional" then I'd say yes please to that.

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 14:45

I’m just re-read the emails and he said if you need to speak just give me a call you’ve got my mobile number. Would a WhatsApp message defintley be off limits ? 😂

OP posts:
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 07/05/2022 14:55

I don’t think it’s wrong or unprofessional.

I do think this sounds like the plot of an airport chick lit book. 🙄

Fedupbuyer · 07/05/2022 14:55

Just message and find out,life is to short!.go for it!

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/05/2022 14:56

@Fedupbuyer on WhatsApp? 😂

OP posts:
DrSophia · 07/05/2022 15:00

Jesus you're making a meal out of this and dragging something out that could be resolved in minutes.

Just match with him or WhatsApp him. It makes no difference what people on here say, you're clearly going to do it anyway.