Asking a guy out for coffee - how does this sound?

[Scampi89]

Hi. I’m currently separated from my husband and we are divorcing.
I really like one of the dads in my DS’s class. I was thinking of asking him for a coffee, very casual, just to see if we’d get on or not, I’m not diving into another relationship. How does this text message sound?
”hi, I wonder if you’d fancy meeting for coffee with a fellow singleton? Very casual, no pressure.”
What do you think? I’m not very good at this sort of thing.
Thanks

I'd more recommend doing it in person during an actual conversation on the school gates.

How do you have his number? If he gave it to you = more ok to message.
If you've got it (eg) from a class group then personally I probably wouldn't

Noooooo. Not a dad from your child's class! I know that sometimes you have to grab life by the balls but I wouldn't. It has too much potential to be very messy, awkward and embarrassing. How old are your dc? Having learnt from experience, get your divorce over with before starting a new relationship. Spend time on your own rediscovering who you are and what you want from life. I was too quick to jump in and I shouldn't have. But that's me, you can only do what you think is best for you.

Are you sure that you want to date someone that is the father of one of your DS classmates and that you will probably have to bump into for the next few years? I personally wouldn’t but if you are sure, the text sounds fine.

I’m sorry OP but I wouldn’t send that message, how about just simply saying “do you fancy going for a coffee?” And preferably after chatting a bit at the school gates/in the park after school so it’s more casual.

If you want casual, and you’re sure you want to risk an embarrassing school run in future, I’d be more tempted to say “Fancy a coffee after school run Wednesday?”. Throw in any mention of singleton and all hint of it being innocent is gone.
Good luck!

Thank you for replies.
You’ve given me a lot to think about.
To be honest our paths barely cross as I don’t do school pick ups but I have chatted to him
at a few of the kids parties.
it might be best to leave it… I don’t want to create difficulties for the kids. I just thought coffee with another single man who seems nice might be ok.

Nope wouldn’t get involved with a school dad! 😳

It's perfectly OK. I just wouldn't mention the singleton thing as it sounds too much like a date. Just an 'I was wondering if you fancied grabbing a coffee after drop-off one morning?'

Send this text: fancy coffee?

then leave.

fuck off with the kids class crap. As you get older you realise this stage is such a blip in the whole thing

He is single

Does he know you’re not divorced? Saying in a text that you’re single might be misleading.

I would drop the singleton! Just keep it simple, he'll know what's up

Is he single?
start chat at the school gate.. hello how’s Jonny getting on with his writing…that kind of thing. Then in a few weeks.. hi, the school fayre/class assembly is soon and you and jonnys mum coming along??? Then you know if he’s single…slow and steady

Don't mention the singleton bit that's cringe. Also the 'no pressure' makes you sound like you have no confidence.

Just ask him for a coffee and he'll know what you mean you don't need to spell it all out.

Please don't include 'singleton' in your message. Sounds very Bridget Jones from the 90s.

Or 'very casual, no pressure'. That's the vibe you want to give, but actually saying it sounds like the opposite.

Agree drop the singleton, no pressure etc.

Just straight to the point, fancy a coffee.

Thanks everyone
I’ll give it some thought.

“You can’t SAY you’re breezy! That totally negates the breezy!”

Just ask if he fancies going for coffee. That’s all.

I wouldn't send that text OP. Sounds a bit too tey hard. Also I wouldn't ask at parent that my dc were in school with. Could be very awkward. That said my friend is married to someone who she met as they were both single parents and met as their children were in school together. They were comp age children though so a bit easier to avoid if it hadn't worked out.

The ‘singleton’ sounds dated and very Bridget Jones. The ‘casual’ and ‘no pressure’ doesn’t work. You need to BE casual not tell him you are casual while actually sending an awkward and slightly intense text.

If you don’t know that he’s single, find out by asking around. If you do know that he’s single and you already know each other a bit (enouhh that he’d recognise your name), I’d probably do something simple and straightforward like “Hi James, wondered if you fancy having a coffee sometime? Amanda xx”

I'd just wait until the next time you are chatting socially and say, as you move on to talk with someone else - we should meet for a coffee sometime, if you're up for it. Then see how he reacts.

If you want to ask him out, please do not say singleton.

Do you know for sure he isn't with anyone?
I wouldn't be that brave, to ask him straight out but I guess if you don't ask you don't get.

No because it's school. No because you used the word singleton.

Don't shit where you eat, amongst a whole host of other chaos you'll be creating.