Asking a guy out for coffee - how does this sound?

[Scampi89]

Hi. I’m currently separated from my husband and we are divorcing.
I really like one of the dads in my DS’s class. I was thinking of asking him for a coffee, very casual, just to see if we’d get on or not, I’m not diving into another relationship. How does this text message sound?
”hi, I wonder if you’d fancy meeting for coffee with a fellow singleton? Very casual, no pressure.”
What do you think? I’m not very good at this sort of thing.
Thanks

The thought of dating someone I see every day twice a day sounds like a complete nightmare to me

She won’t be seeing him twice a day

“To be honest our paths barely cross as I don’t do school pick ups”.

Good luck op. I say in your circumstances I'd go for it but yes in person is probably better. If by text as pp have said, just drop the references to casual/singleton etc!

Jesus. It's just a coffee, not a marriage proposal. Who cares that their kids are in the same class. The children don't have to know. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure the adults are capable of being adults about it.

good advice.
but do it after school party.

Do you actually know this person?

Parents should be able to drop their kids off at school without being approached by someone objectifying their body and wanting casual sex.

Who said anything about objectifying his body/casual sex??

It was tongue in cheek...that is pretty much the response to men saying they like a mom in their kid's class or a waitress at the shop and want to hit her up for a coffee - just wanting something casual, not looking for a relationship.

Good grief!
Some of those replies.
As a guy ( for a POV ) I would be thrilled to receive such a text. Preferably not out the blue though., a few wee blethers at the school gate first..

I'd suggest an activity for the kids, maybe in half term, and say you've been thinking of taking yours to x, and ask if the child and Dad would like to come along too. Somewhere with an organised activity where you can sit in the cafe and watch the activity might work well,

How about a F2F "I'm going for a coffee, fancy joining me?"

I would not give two hoots as to what anyone in the school thought.
You asked someone on a date? So what!
Go for it. But only if you don't mind if he says no.
Ask casually though. None of this singleton nonsense.

‘Does he know you’re not divorced? Saying in a text that you’re single might be misleading.’

‘You aren't single so certainly don't start off with a lie.’

😂😂😂 Ok then.

‘Parents should be able to drop their kids off at school without being approached by someone objectifying their body and wanting casual sex.’

🤣 FFS!

Do it f2f as others suggested. Don't worry about you both having children at the same school. Two of my friends met this way, both divorced. Now been married about 20 years with 18yr old twins so it can certainly work.

Have you had any hint that he likes you too?

I don't understand the objections to dating a 'school dad'...

So you have to avoid co-workers, anyone who works in a shop you shop at, friends of friends, friends of family, the postman..... anyone you might have to see regularly if you split?

It shouldn't affect the children at all, if you deal with it sensibly.

And you don't do the drop offs so wouldn't have to bump in to him often if it didn't work out. But even if you did - blimey, you're adults!!

I agree it would be better to get chatting at he next event and be ready to say a casual 'fancy coffee some time?'. Nothing ventured nothing gained...

WhatsApp is your best friend. Message him something innocuous about a school thing, using no more than one emoji.

He'll either reply in a polite way with no emojis or you'll be whizzing oinks and sweary faces back and forth within the day.

That's been my school dad experience anyway 😊😁😜

I once WhatsApped a dad to politely ask him to bring a baguette along when he dropped his kid off for a play. He immediately responded with 'on it!' and I must admit I did find it a bit thrilling.

Don't do it f2f! That would be putting him on the spot and then if he says no you'll have to walk away with your face beetroot.

Or maybe that's just me.

I've over invested in this.. any update OP?
I hope you have made contact, otherwise you'll forever wonder..

I will let you know.
I’d decided not to act upon it after reading the first few replies.
however I think I’m going to see how it goes at the next kids party and see if I feel up to suggesting a coffee. I think I’ll avoid texting and will certainly avoid words like casual and singleton 😂
life is short…

@Scampi89 lol I'm invested too! Now you have to ask him out because we're all waiting on the outcome!!!

If you really hit it off it may actually become a relationship. Think hard if you want that at this point in your life with your divorce unfinished etc. If you genuinely want something casual and would decline a relationship if he asked you, then maybe a school dad is the wrong person to go out for regular flirty coffees with.

Have you had a post nearly divorce shag yet?

Nope 😂
in fact haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone for about 6 years!