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Original poster

Asking a guy out for coffee - how does this sound?

115 replies

Scampi89 · 01/05/2022 20:53

Hi. I’m currently separated from my husband and we are divorcing.
I really like one of the dads in my DS’s class. I was thinking of asking him for a coffee, very casual, just to see if we’d get on or not, I’m not diving into another relationship. How does this text message sound?
”hi, I wonder if you’d fancy meeting for coffee with a fellow singleton? Very casual, no pressure.”
What do you think? I’m not very good at this sort of thing.
Thanks

OP posts:
NinjaQueen · 04/05/2022 17:52

I wouldn't. As other said don't shit where you eat.

A dad of my daughters friend pursued me, it was awkward all round. I said I wasn't interested, he didn't take a hint, the mum of the kids (his ex) got jealous, her new partner weighed in.

Absolute nightmare. I blocked the lot on social media and kept my head down and the gates!

NinjaQueen · 04/05/2022 17:53

Oh and those asking about dating a colleague, that's an absolute no one my book too!

Far too much scope for disaster!

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 04/05/2022 20:04

Mumsnet consists of people that don't take any risks. What a boring life!
Do it!!!!!! What's the worst that can happen? He say's no. 🤷

Vikinga · 05/05/2022 02:20

NinjaQueen · 04/05/2022 17:52

I wouldn't. As other said don't shit where you eat.

A dad of my daughters friend pursued me, it was awkward all round. I said I wasn't interested, he didn't take a hint, the mum of the kids (his ex) got jealous, her new partner weighed in.

Absolute nightmare. I blocked the lot on social media and kept my head down and the gates!

Well yeah, there is a bloody difference in asking someone for a coffee to hounding someone that isn't interested in them!

whydoesthedog · 05/05/2022 05:21

My mum did this. Ruined my friendships at school. Made school miserable. Good times

Original poster
Scampi89 · 07/05/2022 16:20

UPDATE
Just back from kids party. Friendly chat with him again. Got a kiss on the cheek at the end!
I definitely want to text him … am I still going with “fancy coffee sometime?”

OP posts:
Shunter350 · 07/05/2022 16:43

Scampi89 · 07/05/2022 16:20

UPDATE
Just back from kids party. Friendly chat with him again. Got a kiss on the cheek at the end!
I definitely want to text him … am I still going with “fancy coffee sometime?”

Yes. But take it on the chin if he says no..
Big pants time girl!

Original poster
Scampi89 · 07/05/2022 16:59

I have very big pants!

OP posts:
moodini · 07/05/2022 17:00

A kiss on the cheek! He's definitely into you! Please text!

RubiesandRose · 07/05/2022 18:37

Definitely text, a breezy, great to see you earlier and just wondering if you fancied a coffee sometime? You could add in a Wednesday or Fridays are good for (whichever days/times suit you best) and then leave the ball in his court.

If he's keen he will organise it/follow up and if he doesn't, then just let it go by and chalk it up to experience

Shunter350 · 07/05/2022 18:58

RubiesandRose · 07/05/2022 18:37

Definitely text, a breezy, great to see you earlier and just wondering if you fancied a coffee sometime? You could add in a Wednesday or Fridays are good for (whichever days/times suit you best) and then leave the ball in his court.

If he's keen he will organise it/follow up and if he doesn't, then just let it go by and chalk it up to experience

Exactly that. Don't get hung up on him. Leave the ball in his court.
I'm a guy ( for reference) and if a lady ( that I knew of ) texted me for coffee I would be flattered.
If he declines, and if he's a decent chap, he won't freeze you out or make you feel awkward. I certainly wouldn't.
Good luck girl. Wink

Wildflowerbeauty · 07/05/2022 19:59

So , did you text him ?

Minikievs · 07/05/2022 20:10

RubiesandRose · 07/05/2022 18:37

Definitely text, a breezy, great to see you earlier and just wondering if you fancied a coffee sometime? You could add in a Wednesday or Fridays are good for (whichever days/times suit you best) and then leave the ball in his court.

If he's keen he will organise it/follow up and if he doesn't, then just let it go by and chalk it up to experience

This!
Don't mention casual, singleton or no pressure though!
Good luck 🤞🏼

Original poster
Scampi89 · 07/05/2022 20:47

Yes!
we have coffee booked for June and there have been texts back and forth all afternoon 👏

OP posts:
ZoChan · 07/05/2022 21:08

Yay!! Well played OP!!

Shunter350 · 07/05/2022 22:23

Amazing! Brilliant! So pleased for you! Well done.
Fortune favours the brave., perhaps I should remember that..WinkSmile

WTF475878237NC · 07/05/2022 23:36

The brave but not the naive. Don't have sex with him after coffee, no matter how well the date goes!

Shunter350 · 07/05/2022 23:39

WTF475878237NC · 07/05/2022 23:36

The brave but not the naive. Don't have sex with him after coffee, no matter how well the date goes!

Blimey.. does that actually happen? What am I doing wrong? Blush

orangeisthenewpuce · 07/05/2022 23:51

Scampi89 · 07/05/2022 20:47

Yes!
we have coffee booked for June and there have been texts back and forth all afternoon 👏

Result but June? Why not sooner?

DropYourSword · 08/05/2022 00:30

WTF475878237NC · 07/05/2022 23:36

The brave but not the naive. Don't have sex with him after coffee, no matter how well the date goes!

Apparently this is frowned upon in coffee shops Grin

AuntTwacky · 08/05/2022 00:36

Scampi89 · 07/05/2022 20:47

Yes!
we have coffee booked for June and there have been texts back and forth all afternoon 👏

Why June.... can't you do sooner?

NewYorkCityDreamer · 08/05/2022 00:38

Good luck! Hopefully the coffee goes well

MissSmiley · 08/05/2022 00:53

@Scampi89 June?? Why such a long wait?

Greyandgloom · 08/05/2022 01:01

June?!

Hawkins001 · 08/05/2022 01:02

Scampi89 · 01/05/2022 20:53

Hi. I’m currently separated from my husband and we are divorcing.
I really like one of the dads in my DS’s class. I was thinking of asking him for a coffee, very casual, just to see if we’d get on or not, I’m not diving into another relationship. How does this text message sound?
”hi, I wonder if you’d fancy meeting for coffee with a fellow singleton? Very casual, no pressure.”
What do you think? I’m not very good at this sort of thing.
Thanks

Seems quite apt, and on the level, all the best and positivity op