My very clean partner has started to smell of something that repulses me

[Tigertigertigertiger]

This is an odd one.
I’ve been with DP ( we are in our early 60s ) for about ten years and we are mostly happy. We do have ups and downs and from time to time I think I’d be better on my own but that feeling never lasts long.

He is clean almost to a fault. Showers at least once a day and the washing machine is never off - he’s obsessed with washing his clothes and changes them after work and washes everything after half a day’s wear.

Recently he has developed a body odour that I can’t quite describe but it is giving me the ick.

It’s a sort of sour smell . Like washing that has been left in a washing machine for a week, or something like that. Like towels that have been used again and again without washing.

We have always been affectionate but not very sexual for the past few years which suits us both.

He scrubs himself from top to toe in the shower and goes through a ton of shower gel.

What’s going on ?

" It's the smell you find in charity shops full of all their old clothes."

I think it's the smell you get in old people's homes.
The smell in charity shops is musty because the clothes were kept in musty old wardrobes.

Is he using any lotions or moisturisers they can smell bad if used too longer after opened

Since I became menopausal I smell completely different! DH insists that I smell exactly how I have always smelled and thinks it my be an olfactory issue possibly caused by covid or hormones. Maybe it’s not him ….

Have you smelled the shower gels to see if you get a bad whiff from any of them, if you had covid it may have altered the smell of some things. But yeh it could be a health issue of yours or his. Or it might not.

Im very sensitive to smells.
Have you noticed anything else along with the smell, tiredness, going to the toilet more often, not eating much?
Id be making a GP call for blood test, some serious illness have smells some people pick up on.
Hopefully OP its nothing too worry about.

Ketosis?

GERD?

Have any of you had covid? It seems to be able to effect both sense of smell and own body odour.

Have you had covid recently?

I had it a few months ago and since January, I get a really horrible rancid vegetable smell when there is either running water (cold is worst) or a gust of fresh air.

I could smell the smell on me or others straight out the shower. And the smell from clothes left to dry outside was there too.

I've trained myself to not register the smell any more.

I think you should get him checked out with a doctor— I once lived with a guy who developed a smell to me that smelt like boiled cabbage coming out his pores— he too was fastidiously clean— although he drank too much — I’m wondering OP with all this sheer amount of clothes washing (unusual in an older guy) if he is very aware of it himself and hence this constant washing — smoking in secret?continence problem?( get a prostrate check) booze issue when he’s notcwith you? All of these can change someone’s overall smell , as well as underlying health conditions. Could it be you just noticing it more— could you ask a really good friend to visit and see if she can pick up on it as if not it may be you have trained your nose to pick it up

I can smell my DD2 when she is ill but I had to ban them both from using vanilla scented body lotion or perfumed things because the smell drove me utterly insane (they were not ill this occasion it appears it was a rank sour vanilla smell of a body lotion) I even washed all of DD’s clothes twice because of the smell I couldn’t bear it!

I did break up with a boyfriend because he started to smell awful and I still wonder now if he had something wrong with him and will never know.

Get him to get checked out

Another one who can smell illness on her family here. A sort of milky sour smell or a faint vomit smell in their sweat or hair.
I'd speak to the GP about it too.

I would try tea tree shower gel. My husband sometimes gets this, I think he spends too much time in Lycra. Tea Tree sorts it out thankfully because I can't stand the smell!

Probably already mentioned but food smells definitely seep out of pores!

I can smell spicy food, fish or garlic on DH’s skin for a few days. Despite him showering and wearing clean clothes.

@Pluvia

It completely normal to shower daily. Without wanting to start one of the frequent MN shower wars, I'd say probably most people shower daily. A few less than daily, and a few more than once daily. But daily is most definitely the average

No, it's not 'normal' to shower every day. Human beings have never in history been so artificially clean as in the last couple of decades. The pressure to constantly wash and worry about smell is a new one, pushed by marketeers who want to sell us their chemical-based products by convincing us that without scouring our bodies every day we'll smell bad.

Many of us posting here will have grown up on a regime of one bath a week and a daily top-and-tail. I can remember cuddling up to my naturally female-smelling mum and loving her own scent. Ditto various bed-partners over the years. Lots of younger people, recognising how damaging it is to the environment as well as their skin, are refraining from showering and bathing on a daily basis.

This regime of daily scouring the natural oils from your skin (and probably them replacing them with body lotions etc) may be normal for you, but not for many, many people. And with the price of electricity going up, I'm guessing that fewer than ever will be taking a daily bath or shower.

Sigh

Obviously it's very common NOW DAYS for people to shower daily.

Showering isn't "scouring".

And I wasn't talking about me (didn't even mention myself), I was talking (quite clearly) about what most people consider normal. I actually don't shower every day, probably every other day but sometimes go three days. And I probably use body lotion about once a year.

And I don't "scour" myself, I just wash.

There's really no need for this hyperbole. His daily shower is not making him smell sour.

@JinglingHellsBells

Old ladies sometimes develop a smell not from being unwashed, just being old- happens post-menopause to some women as their bodies change. It's the smell you find in charity shops full of all their old clothes.

Is he eating anything different? For instance, garlic and onions can be really obvious as it comes out of people's skin not just their breath.

I once posted something very similar in a thread about disliking perfume, and although I was thinking 'charity shop clothes smell' I didn't actually write that, (I do shop in charity shops btw) & someone reported my bloody comment!! I was very tactful and worded it carefully, & still... It is definitely a thing, my mum (70s) smells like that. Sort of a powdery vaguely stale-sweet smell.

Since I became menopausal I smell completely different! DH insists that I smell exactly how I have always smelled and thinks it my be an olfactory issue possibly caused by covid or hormones. Maybe it’s not him ….

This is me for the last 6 months!

Sorry if someone has already mentioned it, but could it be "nonenal" - older people smell, it used to be called? That does not wash off with normal soap. There is a soap the Japanese use for this:

www.amazon.co.uk/Family-persimmon-soap-2-Kopakku/dp/B003C2RQLE/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?smid=A3QU9A4YOSJHNU&psc=1&crid=2GTQGK2GI2JUI&keywords=persimmon+soap+for+nonenal&sprefix=nonenal+soap%2Caps%2C105&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVk9GOTdCTzRIMTQmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTAzNDY3MzkxM0RTWTY2QUZYRE1XJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAzMzU5MTcyWlI2T1VFNFpDUE1UJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1650064169&sr=8-1-spons

It's also possible to smell when someone is severely constipated!

Not read whole thread.
have you had covid with loss smell/taste?
i know someone who can no longer eat oranges post covid.

GERD is a reflux condition somepeople notice the smell of someone with it

Have you had covid?

I would say he should maybe pay a visit to the Dr about it, just to rule out any nasty causes. The reason I say this is that my uncle developed a strange smell, almost like very sour coffee but with a strong sweet smell behind it, it was very noticeable. Turned out he had a very serious kidney problem. Hopefully it's nothing like that, but it's something to consider and get checked out just incase

Another one recommending a trip to the GP to rule out anything serious OP.

Is he doing a low carb / keto diet?
when my mum was doing this she had really bad odour