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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My very clean partner has started to smell of something that repulses me

135 replies

Tigertigertigertiger · 14/04/2022 23:17

This is an odd one.
I’ve been with DP ( we are in our early 60s ) for about ten years and we are mostly happy. We do have ups and downs and from time to time I think I’d be better on my own but that feeling never lasts long.

He is clean almost to a fault. Showers at least once a day and the washing machine is never off - he’s obsessed with washing his clothes and changes them after work and washes everything after half a day’s wear.

Recently he has developed a body odour that I can’t quite describe but it is giving me the ick.

It’s a sort of sour smell . Like washing that has been left in a washing machine for a week, or something like that. Like towels that have been used again and again without washing.

We have always been affectionate but not very sexual for the past few years which suits us both.

He scrubs himself from top to toe in the shower and goes through a ton of shower gel.

What’s going on ?

OP posts:
Daydreamsinsantafe · 15/04/2022 00:30

I can smell illness in my children. I was surprised to learn that others mostly don’t because it’s a very obvious scent to me.
Not serious illness though. Thankfully just common ailments.

blueshoes · 15/04/2022 00:34

Have you had covid?

For some people, it can temporarily alter or distort your sense of smell for weeks or months, a condition called parosmia.

Everyday smells could be experienced as sewage, rotten meat, rotten eggs or moldy socks and others.

catscatscurrantscurrants · 15/04/2022 00:36

Urinary tract infections can cause a person to smell a bit 'off'. My paramedic friend can walk past someone and spot it straight away. Some people can smell it, some can't - you might be one of those people. It would be a good idea to see the GP anyway, whatever it is, to set your mind at rest.

milcal · 15/04/2022 00:39

Has he been I'll recently?

INeedNewShoes · 15/04/2022 00:46

Autoimmune conditions run in my family. My mum can smell on our scalps when we’re not well!

I think if this is so unusual for your DP and you know that he is showering thoroughly and wearing clean clothes that it would be worth visiting the GP.

Winter2020 · 15/04/2022 01:13

Washing clothes on quick washes at low temperatures or leaving them damp too long leads to stinky fabrics. Try smelling your partners towel when it’s wet or their clothes when damp and see if they smell bad. If your washing machine has a mouldy door seal you are not doing enough warm/hot washes to keep bacteria at bay.

lameasahorse · 15/04/2022 01:55

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

AChocolateOrangeaday · 15/04/2022 02:46

Jeremy Vine had an item on his Radio " show last week about this very thing.

Apparently some people (mainly women I think) can smell the onset of Parkinson's disease.

One woman said she started noticing this smell roughly 10 yrs or so before he was diagnosed.

I was particularly interested as I have been noticing the same thing with my DH for a few months. He has since made an appt with the GP.

If you search through BBC Radio player you should be able to access the episode and have a listen, it's very interesting

Scottishskifun · 15/04/2022 03:01

As others have suggested illness.

Also if he has had covid there is a thing of the covid stink, I have long covid and the smell is like sour onions doesn't matter how many showers I have I can still smell it. My smell is altered but I got my best pal to make sure I wasn't going mad and she can smell it too (thankfully DH sense of smell has never been good)

TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 15/04/2022 03:11

I don't want to worry you but I echo the PP's who mentioned Parkinson's or cancer. Scientists have found that the lady who smelled Parkinson's on her husband was truly smelling it. As in blind tests I think she got it right 100% of the time!

Does your husband know that you are smelling something not nice from him? I know I would find it hard to bring the subject up with my husband if he didn't mention it first, but as a PP suggested, maybe your husband washes both himself and his clothes so much because he has smelled it himself? Having said that, I do think it can be quite difficult to smell ourselves, I think our noses quickly get used to our own smells!

I honestly think that it would be a good idea to get your husband checked by a Dr, but of course you can't tell if someone has Parkinson's just through blood tests. Has your husband had any other noticeable changes such as:
being more clumsy or having slower movements when he is walking? If you get a chance without being obvious, can you check if both his arms swing by his side when he is walking (whatever pace of walk he has), and do any of his other movements seem stiffer or slower? Have you noticed if his hands shake whilst at rest, say if he is sitting in a chair watching the TV or listening to music and his hands are relaxed, do they show any signs of shaking or twitching? If one or both hands shake only when they pick up something like a full cup of tea, then that probably isn't an early sign of Parkinson's (most people probably think of shaking hands etc as being the main sign of Parkinson's, but actually you can have Parkinson's without having a tremble at all - although one would have probably developed by the time the disease progressed to it's later stages).

I am only asking these questions because if you can observe him for a few days before he sees his GP, and you do notice any changes like the ones I have mentioned above, then the GP would be more likely to take it seriously (a good GP should anyway, but unfortunately I do not have the same blanket faith in GP's that I used to have), and refer your husband to a Neurologist - a GP can't diagnose Parkinson's. In fact there is no failsafe way to diagnose it yet.

Of course, except in patients with early onset Parkinson's, another difficulty in diagnosing someone with it, is that a lot of these symptoms happen to us as we age anyway, but some of them are quite distinctive, and need a Neurologist's eye. In fact I do wonder if it is just old age that you are smelling on him, so many things change and slow down as we age, that it wouldn't be a surprise if our smell changes too. Maybe with a man the lessening of testosterone could change the smell of his pheromones? I find the human body absolutely fascinating, but that is by the by here!

needmorethanthis · 15/04/2022 03:51

Has he changed his diet? Does he eat asparagus?

StooOrangeyForCrows · 15/04/2022 03:58

I could tell when my DHs cancer was back from the smell of his skin.

I can tell he now no longer has cancer from the smell of his skin.

GucciBear · 15/04/2022 04:05

My late husband's clothes started to have a strange smell. He was later diagnosed with oesophageal cancer.

Flamingoose · 15/04/2022 05:24

Like many other posters, I can smell when my closest family are unwell. I know before the first symptom. So does the cat - in fact she knows before I do.

User76745333 · 15/04/2022 05:35

I’ve noticed this sometimes on DH recently. He showers every day and is very clean. It’s a sour smell on his skin. I’m following in case there’s an answer!

FiveShelties · 15/04/2022 05:44

Has he always washed clothes after wearing them for half a day, or is thus a new thing?

TheBestUsernamesAreGone · 15/04/2022 05:53

@blueshoes

Have you had covid?

For some people, it can temporarily alter or distort your sense of smell for weeks or months, a condition called parosmia.

Everyday smells could be experienced as sewage, rotten meat, rotten eggs or moldy socks and others.

I was going to ask the same thing. It's called parosmia and it can start weeks after a Covid infection, doctors cannot do anything about it and of course nobody has any idea how long it might last. DH has it.
TheBestUsernamesAreGone · 15/04/2022 05:55

Sorry blueshoes I only read your first sentence and started my post.

knittingaddict · 15/04/2022 06:00

A couple of years ago I noticed that wherever my husband was a strong unpleasant smell followed. In the end I mentioned it to him. To cut a long story short, it was his sheepskin slippers. A dud pair obviously because he always has real sheepskin and they've never smelt like that before.

knittingaddict · 15/04/2022 06:04

@Winter2020

Washing clothes on quick washes at low temperatures or leaving them damp too long leads to stinky fabrics. Try smelling your partners towel when it’s wet or their clothes when damp and see if they smell bad. If your washing machine has a mouldy door seal you are not doing enough warm/hot washes to keep bacteria at bay.
I agree with this.

It's a very particular musty smell. I do wonder if the trend for washing at lower temperatures increases the chances of this.

ChoiceMummy · 15/04/2022 06:26

@Tigertigertigertiger

Why do you suggest Parkinson’s ?
Some people can be super sellers of parkinsons on a person.

Has he any of the possible early symptoms?

howthebellstoll · 15/04/2022 06:29

Oh my god, I was thinking of posting about this! I can even smell it in the air when I go in DH's home office.

I've noticed this about him the last couple of years, and I have also noticed it on a cousin in his 50's, and on my dad. All of them shower daily, and wear clean clothes.

The only way I can describe it is like musty? You saying washing that's been left in the machine - that describes it well! Is it a middle aged man thing?! I've got a feeling it's coming from his scalp, even though he has very short hair and washes it daily/doesn't have any dandruff etc.

I need a solution to this!

howthebellstoll · 15/04/2022 06:34

Just read all the previous replies - it's the exact same smell on the three people I mentioned, and surely it's unlikely they all have the same disease? I noticed it it on my cousin about 5 years ago, and he's not ill yet. I've sniffed their clothes, not that, and it's definitely not their breath either.

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