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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My very clean partner has started to smell of something that repulses me

135 replies

Tigertigertigertiger · 14/04/2022 23:17

This is an odd one.
I’ve been with DP ( we are in our early 60s ) for about ten years and we are mostly happy. We do have ups and downs and from time to time I think I’d be better on my own but that feeling never lasts long.

He is clean almost to a fault. Showers at least once a day and the washing machine is never off - he’s obsessed with washing his clothes and changes them after work and washes everything after half a day’s wear.

Recently he has developed a body odour that I can’t quite describe but it is giving me the ick.

It’s a sort of sour smell . Like washing that has been left in a washing machine for a week, or something like that. Like towels that have been used again and again without washing.

We have always been affectionate but not very sexual for the past few years which suits us both.

He scrubs himself from top to toe in the shower and goes through a ton of shower gel.

What’s going on ?

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 15/04/2022 06:34

My dd got parosmia after covid and ended up losing dangerous amounts of weight (she was thin before this happened) because she couldn't stand the smell of anything. Said it all smelled and tasted like moldy dirty food. She couldn't even brush her teeth because the mint toothpaste tasted like mold.

But it could also be a medical issue for your dh. Please take him to the doctor.

GoIntoTheLight · 15/04/2022 06:49

When this happened with my partner (it was a sour, vinegary smell) it was a skin infection. He couldn’t smell it but it was overpowering to me.

Amandasummers · 15/04/2022 07:00

I would have said illness too. I can smell when people are ill.

Ddot · 15/04/2022 07:11

Go get a blood test please.

MarriedThreeChildren · 15/04/2022 07:14

@blueshoes

Have you had covid?

For some people, it can temporarily alter or distort your sense of smell for weeks or months, a condition called parosmia.

Everyday smells could be experienced as sewage, rotten meat, rotten eggs or moldy socks and others.

If it was that, the OP would have that issue with everyone and everything, not just her DH!!
Guineapigssweak · 15/04/2022 07:27

I would have him checked for diabetes. My ex has it and had a horrible smell on his skin.

Mummytobe93 · 15/04/2022 07:37

Year, my ex was pre diabetic and the smell started couple of years before diagnosis.

Twizbe · 15/04/2022 07:42

Def get him checked out.

I can smell when my kids are poorly. My daughter in particular has a very clear 'poorly' smell.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 15/04/2022 08:03

Could it be that he's washing too much and removing the beneficial bacteria that normally out-compete the harmful? Maybe he's really upset his skin's natural balance. I'm also wondering why he normally washes so much and why he washes his clothes so often too? What's he trying to hide? "Scrubbing himself" in the shower sounds like a recipe for skin problems.

Soresoresore · 15/04/2022 08:07

Lots of good advice here OP!

I seem to be able to smell things on myself that others can’t. I have a surgical wound at the moment and to me it smells absolutely awful. The district nurses, my family have all had a good sniff and tell me they can’t smell anything.

If you can eliminate clothing, shoes, fungal infections, bad breath etc. - is he generally well?

BananaBender · 15/04/2022 08:08

Does he use soap or only shower gel? Perhaps he should try using only soap and see if the smell improves.

AnnaSW1 · 15/04/2022 08:08

I smelt this on a relative. It was Parkinson's

Soresoresore · 15/04/2022 08:09

@Amandasummers

I would have said illness too. I can smell when people are ill.
This
Dickopf · 15/04/2022 08:10

Interesting thread. I am another who can smell when my children are ill.

I hope it isn't illness, OP. PP have mentioned that washing at low temperatures might be causing the machine to be a bit musty - apparently washing liquids (as opposed to powder) can have the same effect. I hope it's something like this, rather than illness.

Mummy1608 · 15/04/2022 08:17

@BananaBender

Does he use soap or only shower gel? Perhaps he should try using only soap and see if the smell improves.
I was going to suggest this! Shower gels can upset my pH balance "down there" so maybe it's that. I recommend Pears soap
howthebellstoll · 15/04/2022 08:19

I've just been doing some googling...it's the smell of sebum. Called "middle aged oily odour" apparently. That does add up as I smell it more on his head/neck and this is where the most sebum is produced.

Springhassprunggrasshasrizz · 15/04/2022 08:24

I dont want to worry you unnecessarily but we noticed this witb my uncle before he got diagnosed with Parkinsons - it was a sort of musty smell like damp clothes Sad

Ehatshouldido · 15/04/2022 08:25

@Tigertigertigertiger

Why do you suggest Parkinson’s ?
I was wondering about that too.

www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/23/820274501/her-incredible-sense-of-smell-is-helping-scientists-find-new-ways-to-diagnose-di?t=1650007511784

gingerhills · 15/04/2022 08:32

This happened to me once. It really troubled me for ages. I smelled like sour washing. I finally worked out it was a very expensive soap that a friend of mine had bought me. It caused a chemical reaction on my skin. Change all your shower and hair products and see if it still happens.

I also noticed that some washing powders seem to generate a sour smell in clothes after about three days. I guess to try and encourage you to wash stuff more often. So if you have swapped fabric washing powder recently, try swapping back to something you know.

RJnomore1 · 15/04/2022 08:42

Another one who can smell illness on her family.

A daft idea too but are you (collective you ! ) cleaning the washing machine regularly?

JinglingHellsBells · 15/04/2022 08:45

But diabetes is supposed to have a sweet pear-drop smell, not sour.

I'd suggest it is the clothes that can be musty but why don't the OP's clothes smell?

Is it him or his clothes?

MarvelMrs · 15/04/2022 08:52

Various bits of good advice.

I would also consider a hormonal change in yourself. This happened to me years ago during my first pregnancy but never changed back. My sense of smell has stayed very heightened and drives me a bit crazy. I am overly sensitive especially to body smells.

ProseccoStorm · 15/04/2022 08:56

@Daydreamsinsantafe

I can smell illness in my children. I was surprised to learn that others mostly don’t because it’s a very obvious scent to me. Not serious illness though. Thankfully just common ailments.
Yes me too, my youngest always has a certain smell when she's unwell. Only I can smell it.

So glad it's not just me!

Thighdentitycrisis · 15/04/2022 08:58

@howthebellstoll
I refer to this as “old man smell” my dad always had it
Hope your DP is not unwell OP