Being accused of stealing

[whatapalava22]

Hi I know this isn't meant for this forum but I know I will get help sooner .

I have been a cleaner for 5 years and have made some amazing friends through my job. The clean I am writing about I thought me and her were good friends and she trusted me. Obviously I was wrong.

The person in question always have from day 1 left a substantial amount of money around the house. I think through cash in hand jobs. Her partner owns his own business also. I have always put money away when coming across it and at the start used to take photos and send it to my boss just incase I was ever accused.

So last week I finished her clean and that was that . We had a few messages back and forth yesterday on about her weekend ect .

An hour later I just revived a text accusing me of stealing a grand yo to post it through the letter box. Then a camera emoji. First of all I didn't think it was ment for me so replied saying I think you might of sent this to the wrong person.

Message was read but no reply so I rang her and she didn't answer. I text again saying could she phone me when she sees this as I'm getting anxious. I have a reply gone ten last night saying you should be!

I was really upset yesterday that after all these years she thinks I would have took money and also the way she's being about it. I can see if the money has gone missing that she thinks I took it but really ? Why would anyone take a grand! A person I used to clean with when I 1st started took money and I told my boss straight away.

I have messaged her again saying I will cancel all my jobs today and come to hers to help her look even if it takes me all day but no reply again . She says she has footage but obviously hasn't because she would see me putting what ever I find in her tv draw .

I am just so upset about this all. I love my job and have got so many cleans that this could impact me severely if she starts telling people. I thought she knew me well enough by now that she knows I'm not a thief. I am even thinking of leaving cleaning because I have been in so many situations where I get accused and then a week later a text saying they found it. But no apology. I'm thinking of phoning the police today and telling them what's happened because it's really making me I'll with worry.

The money apparently went missing yesterday or that's when she noticed but last time I was at her house was Wednesday. I have a key to her house like I do all my cleans and I have never once in all my years entered a house with out them knowing. Even if I'm due to clean and I don't have a reply to say I'm coming I still don't go in until I have a message back.

I don't really know what I'm asking for by coming on here but maybe some advice please ? I'm also thinking maybe she has found it or realised that she's spent it before and maybe feels too embarrassed to tell me now ? I don't hold a grudge at all because I know I would probably think the same but no way would I ever act the way she has about it.

Thankyou for reading

Take a deep breath.

It must be awful to be accused like this but as you didn't do it (and therefore there is no footage) you have nothing to worry about.

Her behaviour is appalling and I'd block and ignore any future contact.

Thankyou so much. I honestly was expecting abuse on here . But this honestly means to much to me. I have barely slept. My own fault because I suffer badly with anxiety. My partner told me to block her lastnight but I don't want to be mean. I know how stupid that sounds. What a mess! Another clean of mine last an extremely expensive ring two years ago . Without even looking for it I have a text saying have I seen it it's gone and she never loses it . This was a few hours after I had been there . Few hours later she found it but guess what no sorry at all. I really just don't get it x

It is awful to be accused of something you didn't do. As pp said there will be no footage of you so best to block her and have no further contact. The relationship has been irrevocably damaged by her accusations. It is likely someone else in the house took it but she doesn't want to believe that so you are an easy target.

Ask her to send the "footage"

Thankyou Katherine. That's the thing I honestly don't think anyone has took her money because it's only her and her partner in the house . I'm thinking maybe she spent it or he did and they forgot . She loves to spend on nice things and her looks aswel. I'm constantly waiting for her next message and it's making me feel so sick. I think I'm more upset about our friendship has been ruined now rather than being accused 😳. I need to grow a back bone. I hate upsetting people. Would you just block her or phone the police and say what's happened ? Thankyou so much x

You sound very professional.

So there was 1k lying under the letterbox which she thinks you stole and later posted back through the door? She claims she has camera evidence to back this up?

You KNOW you didn't take it. You KNOW how professional you are and how much you value your job. I wonder if she's trying to call your bluff.

In any event you can't work for this woman anymore. Tell her it wasn't you, that your disappointed she thinks it was and that you won't be replying to any further accusations.

Stupid to have that much cash lying around anyway.

I'd just block her. No good can come of maintaining contact. It is not healthy to be dreading the next text she might send.

She has shown her true colours and that she is no friend of yours.

@LoudSnoringDog

Ask her to send the "footage"

My daughter told me to do the same. But obviously there isn't any. Why not just ask me . I would never in a million years message my cleaner the way she did myself. I feel like our friendship was just really worth nothing. I always go beyond my job role for my customers when they are away and need pets to be checked up on walked fed I'm there . I feel like I have just been used and thrown away however stupid that sounds x

@Aubree17

You sound very professional.

So there was 1k lying under the letterbox which she thinks you stole and later posted back through the door? She claims she has camera evidence to back this up?

You KNOW you didn't take it. You KNOW how professional you are and how much you value your job. I wonder if she's trying to call your bluff.

In any event you can't work for this woman anymore. Tell her it wasn't you, that your disappointed she thinks it was and that you won't be replying to any further accusations.

Stupid to have that much cash lying around anyway.

Thankyou so much for the very kind reply it means a lot ❤️ I think she ment that there was 1000 in her house which has gone and she just text me saying to post it through her letter box ! As there's footage of me taking it. She always has money everywhere in the house . I mean thousands and thousands! I know it's none of my business but it's not hidden so I have come across this sort of money for years . I have found 7 thousand pound last year from another clean which if I was a thief could of took because my customer forgot it was even there 😂 . As you can tell I work for people with a very different lifestyle to myself and others x

@KatherineJaneway

I'd just block her. No good can come of maintaining contact. It is not healthy to be dreading the next text she might send.

She has shown her true colours and that she is no friend of yours.

I think this is why I'm going to have to do unfortunately x

I think you need to challenge her a bit. Don't offer to look for it. It almost sounds guilty if you keep being so nice. Say you are very offended after all these years, she is welcome to take you to police and use the camera footage she has since there can't be any. If you didn't do it, you need to be furious and offended. And I would never clean for her again.

@MerryMarigold

I think you need to challenge her a bit. Don't offer to look for it. It almost sounds guilty if you keep being so nice. Say you are very offended after all these years, she is welcome to take you to police and use the camera footage she has since there can't be any. If you didn't do it, you need to be furious and offended. And I would never clean for her again.

Thankyou . I am more annoyed today today than I was yesterday. Yesterday I was so down about it all . The problem with me is I am too nice and I know I shouldn't be but after talking to you lot and my friends in work this morning I'm going to the police. I hope they do to her house and give her a warning for accusing me and basically tarnishing my name x

Message saying you know there isn't any footage as you didn't take it. Say if she filmed you taking cash then she's missed the part where you put it in the drawer as that's where you put any found cash.

I would definitely NOT block her until you have cleared your name

Ask her to go to the police if she has this proof
Ask to see this footage
Tell her you know 100% you are innocent and want this sorted

When it is - say - that's all I need - now fuck off from my life and good luck finding a good honest cleaner like myself

Then I would block her

Sorry you are going through this , must be awful. 💐

Good idea to go to the police. Hopefully they will ask about this footage she claims to have.

She's panicking and blamed you without thinking. It's not personal, she's not thinking straight. You sound like a nice person. I would message saying; "I hope all's sorted now and the money has turned up. I'm upset you thought it was me as I've always put anything I found in the drawer. As I didn't see this envelope I guess one of you has stashed it somewhere. Your accusation has really put me on edge because it's awful to be accused of something like that. I'm going to leave it there. If you want to take this further, send me any evidence you think you have as I 100% refute it but can't defend myself without seeing it."

Reputation is a worry, but I'd try and get ahead if it with new clients by having a more formal agreement about any money found and basically making it clear they are not to leave cash/valuables lying about in cleaning day! It's not fair on either party.

It's ridiculous that they should have money lying around casually and then accuse you of this when you have a track record of doing the right thing with it.

I'd tell her that she either sends you the footage TODAY so you can explain the scenario (she doesn't have any footage, she's just trying to spook you) or you're going to the police.

Once you have an acknowledgement by way of text (don't wait on a hollow apology) that they made a mistake then tell them to do one.

Good luck.

I think the message that @DogDaysNeverEnd has written is a good one. I absolutely would not go to the police because they are not necessarily good as their job. They aren't going to come into this situation and detect who has stolen the money like they were on an episode of Paw Patrol.

I wouldn't block her at the moment but don't feel you have to respond to anything she has to say.

Also, don't feel any guilt for the destruction of your friendship as you didn't do that, she did. You can feel sad about it of course but it wasn't your fault.

The money apparently went missing yesterday or that's when she noticed but last time I was at her house was Wednesday

Sorry you’ve had this shit situation. In order for a police investigation to go anywhere they would really need to show that you were the only person who had access to the money. So they were sure the money was in this place, you arrived and then the money was missing. What you have posted sounds like there were days between you being there and the money being missed. If they’ve had anyone else in the house between that time or there is anyone else who has keys to the property ( eg a relative) it would be exceptionally difficult to prove it was you EVEN if it was you! Under the circumstances I would say “I’m sorry this money has gone missing but I have never in all my X number of years as a cleaner ever stolen anything. I suggest it’s in everyone’s interest for you to report the matter to the police and let them investigate it. I will be happy to co-operate with any police investigation” My guess is they’re not going to want to go anywhere near police because there would be uncomfortable questions about what the money is from. Hopefully it’s been found and they’re just too embarrassed or ignorant to apologise.

I would be reporting her for tax evasion.

I agree with a poster, I'd be tempted to phone the police and tell her this is what you are going to do. What an awful thing to happen to you

I just feel worse as the hours go by . I'm so disappointed at the way she messaged me. It was just so abrupt. And also I have never been in this situation before regarding money . God I remember I took a chocolate out of a celebration tin at Christmas and even felt like I was doing something wrong then 😂. I really hope this gets solved soon but I won't be returning to her house ever again because for me the friendship has gone . I will keep you all informed . But I am sure il get another nasty message throughout the day. I'm leaving my 1st job now and cancelling the rest. I just feel way too overwhelmed to clean today and I know my work won't be any good x

No, don't block her. This could potentially be seen as aggressive. If she messages again, just say "I did not take your money". Nothing else.

Also, no point in involving the police at this stage. They won't be interested, and there is really nothing they can do unless she reports you for 'stealing'.

Lastly, I would not think of your clients as 'friends', ever. However friendly they are towards you, however many friendly chats you have with them, they will never be your true friends. Nor should they be. They are clients.

Sorry your good nature has been exploited. Keep strong and don't let her bully you.

She’s talking out of her arse. I’ll call her bluff and say your happy for the Police to be involved because you didn’t take her money and you’d hate the perpetrator not to be caught.

She’s behaving as she is because she’s a bully and not very bright.

Her behaviour is not a reflection on you, unfortunately you can’t stop people broadcasting their stupidity.