Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Being accused of stealing

147 replies

whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 05:55

Hi I know this isn't meant for this forum but I know I will get help sooner .

I have been a cleaner for 5 years and have made some amazing friends through my job. The clean I am writing about I thought me and her were good friends and she trusted me. Obviously I was wrong.

The person in question always have from day 1 left a substantial amount of money around the house. I think through cash in hand jobs. Her partner owns his own business also. I have always put money away when coming across it and at the start used to take photos and send it to my boss just incase I was ever accused.

So last week I finished her clean and that was that . We had a few messages back and forth yesterday on about her weekend ect .

An hour later I just revived a text accusing me of stealing a grand yo to post it through the letter box. Then a camera emoji. First of all I didn't think it was ment for me so replied saying I think you might of sent this to the wrong person.

Message was read but no reply so I rang her and she didn't answer. I text again saying could she phone me when she sees this as I'm getting anxious. I have a reply gone ten last night saying you should be!

I was really upset yesterday that after all these years she thinks I would have took money and also the way she's being about it. I can see if the money has gone missing that she thinks I took it but really ? Why would anyone take a grand! A person I used to clean with when I 1st started took money and I told my boss straight away.

I have messaged her again saying I will cancel all my jobs today and come to hers to help her look even if it takes me all day but no reply again . She says she has footage but obviously hasn't because she would see me putting what ever I find in her tv draw .

I am just so upset about this all. I love my job and have got so many cleans that this could impact me severely if she starts telling people. I thought she knew me well enough by now that she knows I'm not a thief. I am even thinking of leaving cleaning because I have been in so many situations where I get accused and then a week later a text saying they found it. But no apology. I'm thinking of phoning the police today and telling them what's happened because it's really making me I'll with worry.

The money apparently went missing yesterday or that's when she noticed but last time I was at her house was Wednesday. I have a key to her house like I do all my cleans and I have never once in all my years entered a house with out them knowing. Even if I'm due to clean and I don't have a reply to say I'm coming I still don't go in until I have a message back.

I don't really know what I'm asking for by coming on here but maybe some advice please ? I'm also thinking maybe she has found it or realised that she's spent it before and maybe feels too embarrassed to tell me now ? I don't hold a grudge at all because I know I would probably think the same but no way would I ever act the way she has about it.

Thankyou for reading

OP posts:
Fulmine · 12/04/2022 09:17

Hi Thankyou for your comment . They reason why I havnt asked for the footage is because I know there won't be any and her reply will just be horrible to me and I just can't deal with it anymore

How can she say anything more horrible to you than an accusation of theft?

FinnRussell · 12/04/2022 09:22

Ask to see the footage. If you see what she says is you stealing you can tell the police your side more accurately.

milcal · 12/04/2022 09:24

It's very important that you go to the police and tell them your side. You may not want to and be anxious about it but you must.

If she's already been then you won't look guilty.

RainbowConnection1 · 12/04/2022 10:04

OP if you'd gone to the Police at the start of all of this it probably would be over by now but you are actually helping to drag this on even if you don't realise it.

Please call the Police and ask her to send you the footage, it's the only way this will stop.

Divebar2021 · 12/04/2022 11:28

OP if you'd gone to the Police at the start of all of this it probably would be over by now but you are actually helping to drag this on even if you don't realise it

How exactly would it be over? Please tell us what the police would have done.
@RainbowConnection1

Kingharoldshairstyle · 12/04/2022 11:45

I’m not sure it would have been over but the woman would have been told to stop contacting the op and vice versa when they investigated this, it’s a high value robbery,

I don’t really agree rhe ops approach, lying and accusing her of lying. For me, I’d simoly speak to the police and let them know the accusation. Not doing so makes me think the op doesn’t want police involvement.

huffyhufferson · 12/04/2022 12:01

Definitely call police. Apart from anything else, she is threatening & intimidating you.

MWNA · 12/04/2022 12:25

Are you always this woolly and feeble? You're incredibly frustrating. I can't actually believe this is for real. Surely anyone being so seriously bullshitted by a bully like this would go straight to the police. Makes you sound incredibly cowardly. Or fake.

AllOfUsAreDead · 12/04/2022 12:33

So you lied about going to the police, she now may have gone and you're going to go to them afterwards?

Way to look guilty op... Good luck to you, if she has footage of you around those drawers where the money is, they could believe you did nick it. Which given your lies does sound plausible.

Oh well this is probably just a bored kid on their holidays anyway.

FilledSoda · 12/04/2022 12:34

Where's your anger ?
You need to get on this and go to the police asap , that was a silly lie to tell .

ScoobyGrew · 12/04/2022 13:15

@RainbowConnection1

OP if you'd gone to the Police at the start of all of this it probably would be over by now but you are actually helping to drag this on even if you don't realise it.

Please call the Police and ask her to send you the footage, it's the only way this will stop.

Have you ever called the police for anything? Confused This isn't a soap opera. They don't even come for burglaries.

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 12/04/2022 13:17

Sorry I am coming across guilty to a few people but considering this is an anonymous forum I would be asking people what the hell should I do and expect to happen because I stupidly stole from work. If I ask for the footage she will either ignore me or say too late it's with the police and I am not giving her the satisfaction of thinking i care . I have to go give her key back at some point today which I am not looking forward too. . I hate confrontation especially with her because I know what she's like . I know this is a mess and it is all my mess . I have not heard anything off her today I know that's not a surprise because I have blocked her but I am expecting her to message me from her partners phone. I hate drama. Also the reason other reason why I have not contacted the police is because I 100 percent don't have any faith in them at all anymore . I can't go in to to much detail but I got physically assaulted randomly a few years back and they were absolutely terrible . X

OP posts:
saraclara · 12/04/2022 13:23

If I ask for the footage she will either ignore me or say too late it's with the police and I am not giving her the satisfaction of thinking i care

This is totally illogical. You are being your own worst enemy at this point. I give up.

IAmMeThisIsI · 12/04/2022 13:25

OP, this woman is walking all over you. I know it can be hard but sometimes in life we MUST stick up for ourselves and defend ourselves. This is one of those times for you. This accusation threatens your job, reputation and could cause all manner of issues. It's time for you to get a back bone and defend yourself. She's seen a weakness in you and she is exploiting it to the Nth degree. And you're letting her! Time to be mature and take the bull by the horns.

Step 1: Text her and tell her that you want to see this footage NOW. Explain that you won't stand for her ruining your name and making false allegations.

Step 2: Screenshot and save all communication between you both.

Step 3: Ring/report it to the police. You can go to the station or find the local number for non urgent issues. It's important that you do this especially as you have already told her you have.

You haven't got to have a physical fight with her in the street. This isn't school and you're not teen-agers. She's bullying you and you have to stop this now. You're an easy target.

Do you have a partner or a close friend to support you and help you and stand by you?

And I know you said she's a nice person but she's clearly NOT. Please consider that she's doing this to try and extort money from you. In fact, in your text why not accuse her of this? She's falsely accusing you after all. Why not give her a taste of her own medicine?

2DogsOnMySofa · 12/04/2022 13:25

When you return the key, take someone with you who can verify that you've given it back to her

IcedOatLatte · 12/04/2022 13:32

@AllOfUsAreDead

So you lied about going to the police, she now may have gone and you're going to go to them afterwards?

Way to look guilty op... Good luck to you, if she has footage of you around those drawers where the money is, they could believe you did nick it. Which given your lies does sound plausible.

Oh well this is probably just a bored kid on their holidays anyway.

Do you actually know a child @AllOfUsAreDead who in even the most boring day in the world would sign up to a parenting forum and get up early to post bollocks?

How many children have ever heard of mumsnet and even have email addresses to make an account?

I literally can't imagine a child I've ever come across that would behave like that, do you really think that would happen when their device gives them access to the whole internet, tiktok, snapchat etc and more than likely have a gaming console. What child gets up at 6am (how are they bored at that time anyway) and carries on posting into a second day?

I have no idea if the OP is telling the truth but there's absolutely no way a bored child is posting

Kingharoldshairstyle · 12/04/2022 13:41

It’s getting very hard to understand now op, your behavuour is illogical.

You lied to her, declare she doesn’t have footage, don’t want to give her the satisfaction of thinking you care (which is the oddest thing I’ve ever read, why would you wish to pretend to her you don’t care about being accused of major theft), you’ve blocked her, have never had any intention of calling the police, even though you said you’d call them this morning, and it seems you’re hoping she won’t either as you think she’s no proof of you stealing so she can’t do anything.

It’s not coming across well at all.

iamusuallyright · 12/04/2022 14:09

You've said previously that you have moved money that you've found and put it in a drawer. Maybe the camera filmed you picking up money but not you putting it in a drawer?
Can you remember doing this on the day she said money went missing?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 12/04/2022 15:30

If I ask for the footage she will either ignore me or say too late it's with the police and I am not giving her the satisfaction of thinking i care

So what OP? You should care and you do. It would be weird if you didn't care someone was accusing you of stealing a grand and threatening you. It looks weirder that you are trying to show you aren't bothered!

Message her to say "send me and the police the footage you claim to have - I know you can't do so as it doesn't exist, because I didn't steal anything, so I am not concerned but am troubled you're lying about having such footage."

You need to do that and call the police because as it stands, you've unfortunately told her a lie (that you called the police) and then blocked her (which looks evasive).

Can you see that?

youshouldhaveknow · 12/04/2022 16:01

Op I'm sorry to say this but your response to this accusation is making you sound as if you are guilty of something.
The natural response to being caught on camera stealing money would be to request to see the video recording and to go to the police. I find it hard to believe the excuses you have given for not going to the police.
You are being accused of stealing a substantial amount of money and as you say yourself this could have a huge impact on your business as a cleaner, you can't sleep with anxiety. If you have nothing to hide you would have nothing to fear in going to the police

ThisUserIsNamed · 12/04/2022 16:03

Well if you didn't do it, your response may lead to the police thinking you did!

Muckymaisonette · 12/04/2022 16:20

The more you agonise over it without doing more than blocking/unblocking her on your phone the worse you are going to feel.

You need to take some action as others have said. Go to or ring the police to report it if nothing else. Tell them she is threatening and intimidating you. Ask for a copy of the footage.

If she starts telling other people consider contacting the HMRC and tell them about cash in hand and stuff about their businesses (anonymously of course and don’t for goodness sake threaten her with this).

The you can get on with other things.

Muckymaisonette · 12/04/2022 16:21

Then

Muckymaisonette · 12/04/2022 16:22

And deffo take someone with you when you return the key and get them to film it.

Chooksnroses · 12/04/2022 16:35

Sounds like someone needs an investigation by the Tax authority! As an ex cleaner I really feel for you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread