Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Being accused of stealing

147 replies

whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 05:55

Hi I know this isn't meant for this forum but I know I will get help sooner .

I have been a cleaner for 5 years and have made some amazing friends through my job. The clean I am writing about I thought me and her were good friends and she trusted me. Obviously I was wrong.

The person in question always have from day 1 left a substantial amount of money around the house. I think through cash in hand jobs. Her partner owns his own business also. I have always put money away when coming across it and at the start used to take photos and send it to my boss just incase I was ever accused.

So last week I finished her clean and that was that . We had a few messages back and forth yesterday on about her weekend ect .

An hour later I just revived a text accusing me of stealing a grand yo to post it through the letter box. Then a camera emoji. First of all I didn't think it was ment for me so replied saying I think you might of sent this to the wrong person.

Message was read but no reply so I rang her and she didn't answer. I text again saying could she phone me when she sees this as I'm getting anxious. I have a reply gone ten last night saying you should be!

I was really upset yesterday that after all these years she thinks I would have took money and also the way she's being about it. I can see if the money has gone missing that she thinks I took it but really ? Why would anyone take a grand! A person I used to clean with when I 1st started took money and I told my boss straight away.

I have messaged her again saying I will cancel all my jobs today and come to hers to help her look even if it takes me all day but no reply again . She says she has footage but obviously hasn't because she would see me putting what ever I find in her tv draw .

I am just so upset about this all. I love my job and have got so many cleans that this could impact me severely if she starts telling people. I thought she knew me well enough by now that she knows I'm not a thief. I am even thinking of leaving cleaning because I have been in so many situations where I get accused and then a week later a text saying they found it. But no apology. I'm thinking of phoning the police today and telling them what's happened because it's really making me I'll with worry.

The money apparently went missing yesterday or that's when she noticed but last time I was at her house was Wednesday. I have a key to her house like I do all my cleans and I have never once in all my years entered a house with out them knowing. Even if I'm due to clean and I don't have a reply to say I'm coming I still don't go in until I have a message back.

I don't really know what I'm asking for by coming on here but maybe some advice please ? I'm also thinking maybe she has found it or realised that she's spent it before and maybe feels too embarrassed to tell me now ? I don't hold a grudge at all because I know I would probably think the same but no way would I ever act the way she has about it.

Thankyou for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 22:26

Hi I'm sorry I have taken so long to reply I have been to the cinema with my partner . I would advise anyone who is tempted to go to see the secrets of dumbledore not too. Well she messaged me on Instagram saying she's gone to the police and is handing footage from an Xbox live camera which I assume is connected to an Xbox ? I am now regretting saying I contacted the police but I don't regret blocking her . I lied about the police because she's lying about this so called footage so I just wanted her to stop and leave it there . But she's not . Just before going to to the cinema she messages me on Instagram. I told her to send the footage to the police when they come after she's concreted them . She's threatening in a way . Saying lashes letting her husband deal with it and it's out of her hands . I know for a fact she hasn't phoned the police because she doesn't have a clue what has happened to the money. I do feel sorry for her because I can understand her thinking it's me and the way she's acting but the time I was there was 4 days until she realised money had gone . Fair enough if it was ten mins after I left but it wasn't . And I don't appreciate being threatened and being bullied basically. The only reason why I havnt phoned the police is because of my anxiety and I don't want them to think how stupid all this sounds. What a bloody mess all this is . I was telling my partner over dinner earlier about an op on here saying work friends are not your true friends and your so true they are not. Now I know the hard way x

OP posts:
Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 22:28

And please don't think I have made this whole thing up . I really am appreciating all your advice even tho o think I have done the complete opposite and made a stupid mistake x

OP posts:
Ricksteinsfishwife · 11/04/2022 22:38

Yes, The Xbox camera, it’s called Kinect, is always on and does video the room, in fact it’s one of the most powerful home spy tools available to the extent Microsoft are having to confirm they aren’t taking the images amid privacy concerns. It’s always on and can be remotely activated.

It’s irrelevant though as you can’t video what didn’t occur.

Personally I’d be going to the police though if I was you. This isn’t going away. She’s not going to drop it.

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 22:43

@Ricksteinsfishwife

Yes, The Xbox camera, it’s called Kinect, is always on and does video the room, in fact it’s one of the most powerful home spy tools available to the extent Microsoft are having to confirm they aren’t taking the images amid privacy concerns. It’s always on and can be remotely activated.

It’s irrelevant though as you can’t video what didn’t occur.

Personally I’d be going to the police though if I was you. This isn’t going away. She’s not going to drop it.

Thankyou so much . I will be going to the police 100 percent tomorrow. I'm just constantly living on my nerves waiting for another abusive message . X
OP posts:
worriedatthistime · 11/04/2022 22:45

@Ricksteinsfishwife I never knew that , Kids used to have one years ago I assumed only on when we used it ?

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 22:59

I forgot to mention that she's Also lying about this camera thing on the Xbox because my friend used to have one and there was a camera on the front of it . It's very noticeable. She's got the same Xbox as my partner . So once again another lie which I'm getting sick off now 😢 x

OP posts:
Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 23:00

She has an Alexa camera that's always pointed at the drawers with all the money in so I don't get why she hasn't just looked at that x

OP posts:
saraclara · 11/04/2022 23:11

when she said she lied and blocked I thought “oh god I wonder if she did steal it” that’s how damaging that behaviour is.

Yep. This is a huge mess now. Sorry OP, but the fact that you told such a huge lie has me questioning your honesty in all areas.

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 23:17

@saraclara

when she said she lied and blocked I thought “oh god I wonder if she did steal it” that’s how damaging that behaviour is.

Yep. This is a huge mess now. Sorry OP, but the fact that you told such a huge lie has me questioning your honesty in all areas.

I'm really sorry I have come across this was. Both my daughter and partner agreed with me to do it before sending it. I wrote on her for advice not to be accused of stealing and having people guess weather I stole or not . If I did steal the thought of writing on here wouldn't it entered my mind . Please can this be for support from now one. I really know I messed up by saying about the police but I was scared and dreading the next message of abuse x
OP posts:
IAmMeThisIsI · 11/04/2022 23:17

The way she's demanding you put it in her letter box makes me feel like she's trying to bully a grand out of you. Demanding money with menaces is something the police will be interested in. Ring them.

Norgie · 11/04/2022 23:20

If someone accused me of stealing, particularly money then I would be calling the police to get it sorted out.
Consider taking that route OP.

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 23:20

@IAmMeThisIsI

The way she's demanding you put it in her letter box makes me feel like she's trying to bully a grand out of you. Demanding money with menaces is something the police will be interested in. Ring them.
Thankyou so much. Know what when I was having food out earlier I was thinking to just give her a grand to stop all this 😂 this is how stupid my mind works. Obviously now I have calmed down I know how absolutely stupid that sounds and would be . But now I'm wondering if she is just trying to bully me to give her money ? But then no she wouldn't do that because honestly she is a lovely person . She's very hard to get to know but once your passed it she's lovely . Obviously my mind had changed after these last two days but I can see where she's coming from . Arghhhhhh I'm always like this always try to see the best in people . X
OP posts:
Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 23:22

@Norgie

If someone accused me of stealing, particularly money then I would be calling the police to get it sorted out. Consider taking that route OP.
Hi op Thankyou for your reply . Once again everyone's gone to bed and I'm just sitting downstairs with the dog feeling too anxious to sleep . Up in 4 hours for work also so not going to be a good day tomorrow lol . I will 100 percent be going to the police tomorrow. I can't deal with the when they next text going to be x
OP posts:
Booboobagins · 11/04/2022 23:23

What an awful situation to work in. Can you buy a personal camera so it records what you're doing whilst you're working, tgat way you have your own evidence?

I def wouldn't give up ajob I love over other people's poor attitudes, but I would be protecting myself better.

Ref this grand gone missing situ, I'm with your DP. I wouldn't block her but I would leave it, the balls in her court. Youve messafed shes ignoring you cos shes found tge money or knows where it"s gone. I'd refuse to clean for her without an apology.

Maybe shell now learn too. I mean more fool her for leaving money lying around. Anyone going into the house could have taken it including her and her partner!

Thinkingblonde · 11/04/2022 23:43

I’d go to the police, in fact I’d have done so as soon as she made the accusation.
don’t give her any money, it’ll make you look guilty.
My mum used to clean for a family that left money lying around, not in the amounts you’ve mentioned but it was in unusual places, like behind the bread bin or under the toilet roll cabinet, under a rug etc. Mum wasn’t sure if it was a trap to see if she was being thorough in her work or seeing if she was untrustworthy. Mum would clean as normal, she had to move it but put the money back but in a different formation to let the owners know the floor or whatever had been done.
This went on for a few weeks until she got fed up with it and glued the money to the bread bin. And never went back.

Thinkingblonde · 11/04/2022 23:45

Hope you’ve saved her abusive messages to show to the police.

Fulmine · 11/04/2022 23:53

Ask her to send the "footage"

My daughter told me to do the same. But obviously there isn't any.

That's exactly why you should ask for it. When she can't send it she will have to admit she lied.

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 12/04/2022 05:46

@Fulmine

Ask her to send the "footage"

My daughter told me to do the same. But obviously there isn't any.

That's exactly why you should ask for it. When she can't send it she will have to admit she lied.

Hi Thankyou for your comment . They reason why I havnt asked for the footage is because I know there won't be any and her reply will just be horrible to me and I just can't deal with it anymore . I just want all this to be over with 😢 I thought I was doing ok yesterday but I'm in work now and although I have told all my friends what has happened and they are so supportive and havnt even questioned me if I done it or not. But for some reason when I'm on my own like now I just feel like crying and going home again. X
OP posts:
gettingolderandgrumpy · 12/04/2022 07:47

Some people really are pieces of shit ! .she knows it’s not you it can’t be you by what you say as you said you were last there a few days ago . Your a easy target and what she’s doing is intimidating you . there probably isn’t any missing money for all we know . Go to the police show the messages and try and forget it .

saraclara · 12/04/2022 08:15

They reason why I havnt asked for the footage is because I know there won't be any

That makes no sense.

BrimFullOfAsher · 12/04/2022 08:40

I still can't believe you haven't actually asked to see the footage. It's the first thing anyone would do.

If you're 100% certain there isn't any, then why the reticence in asking to see it? What are you afraid of? I'd probably even expect the police to say 'Have you asked to see the footage?'

IncompleteSenten · 12/04/2022 08:45

The only reason you would not ask to see the footage is you know there may well be some and it will show something.

Nothing else makes any sense. There is no reason not to say ok you are saying there is footage. Show me. Other than you are hoping there isnt.

So ask to see it. Demand to see it. Tell them you insist they take it to the police. You have been accused of theft. You should be angry and determined to clear your good name.

BornBlonde · 12/04/2022 08:54

You can report to the police on the it website using the online form, will save you time going there and give you proof your have reported.

I feel so awful for you! You are clearly very honest or she would not have left large amounts of money in the house for years. I can't help but think it's either made up OR she/her husband has spent the money and is lying to the other one by blaming you Thanks

BornBlonde · 12/04/2022 08:55

To add demand to see the footage - it does look strange you haven't asked for it. Say you want the footage

ChameFangeNail · 12/04/2022 09:02

They reason why I havnt asked for the footage is because I know there won't be any

That’s exactly the point of asking for the footage. So she has to admit it doesn’t exist. It puts her on the back foot.

It’s awful to be falsely accused of something but if you didn’t do it and there’s no evidence against you, then all you can do is shrug and say okay, prove it or stop harassing me.