Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Being accused of stealing

147 replies

whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 05:55

Hi I know this isn't meant for this forum but I know I will get help sooner .

I have been a cleaner for 5 years and have made some amazing friends through my job. The clean I am writing about I thought me and her were good friends and she trusted me. Obviously I was wrong.

The person in question always have from day 1 left a substantial amount of money around the house. I think through cash in hand jobs. Her partner owns his own business also. I have always put money away when coming across it and at the start used to take photos and send it to my boss just incase I was ever accused.

So last week I finished her clean and that was that . We had a few messages back and forth yesterday on about her weekend ect .

An hour later I just revived a text accusing me of stealing a grand yo to post it through the letter box. Then a camera emoji. First of all I didn't think it was ment for me so replied saying I think you might of sent this to the wrong person.

Message was read but no reply so I rang her and she didn't answer. I text again saying could she phone me when she sees this as I'm getting anxious. I have a reply gone ten last night saying you should be!

I was really upset yesterday that after all these years she thinks I would have took money and also the way she's being about it. I can see if the money has gone missing that she thinks I took it but really ? Why would anyone take a grand! A person I used to clean with when I 1st started took money and I told my boss straight away.

I have messaged her again saying I will cancel all my jobs today and come to hers to help her look even if it takes me all day but no reply again . She says she has footage but obviously hasn't because she would see me putting what ever I find in her tv draw .

I am just so upset about this all. I love my job and have got so many cleans that this could impact me severely if she starts telling people. I thought she knew me well enough by now that she knows I'm not a thief. I am even thinking of leaving cleaning because I have been in so many situations where I get accused and then a week later a text saying they found it. But no apology. I'm thinking of phoning the police today and telling them what's happened because it's really making me I'll with worry.

The money apparently went missing yesterday or that's when she noticed but last time I was at her house was Wednesday. I have a key to her house like I do all my cleans and I have never once in all my years entered a house with out them knowing. Even if I'm due to clean and I don't have a reply to say I'm coming I still don't go in until I have a message back.

I don't really know what I'm asking for by coming on here but maybe some advice please ? I'm also thinking maybe she has found it or realised that she's spent it before and maybe feels too embarrassed to tell me now ? I don't hold a grudge at all because I know I would probably think the same but no way would I ever act the way she has about it.

Thankyou for reading

OP posts:
VerifiedBot2351 · 11/04/2022 10:53

Why waste time? Contact the police now.

DrSophia · 11/04/2022 11:08

Okay, maybe I'm being dim but why not just ask her to send you the footage?

I can't imagine the police being that interested in investigating it tbh. You're reporting a theft that never took place! It then becomes a civil matter. If anything, she needs to report it herself or admit that the whole thing was a misunderstanding / wind up.

ThisUserIsNamed · 11/04/2022 11:12

Don't cancel your other jobs, don't throw all that money away and risk loosing your other work due to being unreliable.
She's bluffing about the footage, she's probably sent the same text to everyone she pays to come to her house. It would never be her darling Theodore or his mates, her friend Nancy etc.

LetHimHaveIt · 11/04/2022 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes a deleted post.

Teeturtle · 11/04/2022 11:29

@whoturnedthesunoff

I would definitely NOT block her until you have cleared your name

Ask her to go to the police if she has this proof
Ask to see this footage
Tell her you know 100% you are innocent and want this sorted

When it is - say - that's all I need - now fuck off from my life and good luck finding a good honest cleaner like myself

Then I would block her

Sorry you are going through this , must be awful. 💐

@whoturnedthesunoff

Yes I was thinking the same, definitely do not block. Blocking makes you look suspicious, like you are running.

Tell her you didn’t take it and if she wants to go to the police she is free to do so.

2catsandhappy · 11/04/2022 11:37

Are you saying she has secretly filmed you?

You have to insist on seeing this alleged footage. Tell her you are going to the police about secret filming. She will likely back track if she is telling lies. She will have to admit she has made a false accusation.

Babadook76 · 11/04/2022 11:44

@DrSophia

Okay, maybe I'm being dim but why not just ask her to send you the footage?

I can't imagine the police being that interested in investigating it tbh. You're reporting a theft that never took place! It then becomes a civil matter. If anything, she needs to report it herself or admit that the whole thing was a misunderstanding / wind up.

She has asked her to send the footage and she hasn’t done it. And unless the actual person makes a complaint then I’m not sure the police are going to do anything about it.
Catquestion · 11/04/2022 11:52

HMRC might be interested in the level of cash in hand work going on though....

BrimFullOfAsher · 11/04/2022 11:59

@Babadook76 I don't see where OP has said she has asked to see it? She just says it doesn't exist?

I'd suggest to them that I was going to go to the police myself and see if that spurs a back track from them (I wouldn't actually go to them)

Maybe also ask where you agreed to covert filming and ask to see their GDPR policy lol

Original poster
whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 12:01

Update ..... I have blocked her 😢. About half an hour ago I just receive a text saying post my money and key through the door before I get home from work. Then underneath alternatively it is out of my hands .

I don't really know what to make of the last bit mind. I then messaged and said I have contacted the police and they had advices me to have no more contact with her . I said you will probably get a phone call off them this afternoon. I said I wish her all the best and that was that . Obviously I haven't contacted them yet I was hoping she Just leave me alone but this isn't going to end until I do so looks like it's what needs doing this afternoon 😴. So much drama For just doing my job . X

OP posts:
BrimFullOfAsher · 11/04/2022 12:02

@whatapalava22 have you actually asked to see the footage?

AndAsIfByMagic · 11/04/2022 12:05

I suspect her husband had a very big bet on the National and won't admit he lost the money.

You shouldn't have pretended you'd spoken to the police, she may have already done that.

DecayedStrumpet · 11/04/2022 12:10

You should change your privacy settings on facebook so no one can tag you in a post without you approving it. Just in case she does try anything on there.

newbiename · 11/04/2022 12:11

Why haven't you asked to see the (non existent) footage ?

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 11/04/2022 16:23

I would get to the Police asap and report her behaviour. It is affecting your mental health, potentially your business and reputation, both of which are very serious.

She is claiming to have footage so they will press the issue and demand to see it.

She is an awful person and I am so sorry you are going through this.

IncompleteSenten · 11/04/2022 16:26

You do now need to speak to the police. Tell them that message feels like a threat to you.

Kingharoldshairstyle · 11/04/2022 16:35

You need to speak to the police urgently. It looks really suspicious lying like that saying you contacted rhe police when you hadn’t so but just blocking her. You are likely going to have to explain that to a police officer. Call the police now.

saraclara · 11/04/2022 17:41

@Kingharoldshairstyle

You need to speak to the police urgently. It looks really suspicious lying like that saying you contacted rhe police when you hadn’t so but just blocking her. You are likely going to have to explain that to a police officer. Call the police now.
That. I'm sorry, but lying to her just proves to her that you're dishonest. I don't know what you were thinking to do that. It was really daft. Lots of us told you NOT to block her because it makes you look guilty, but you went ahead and did that AND lied to her. You've made things much worse for yourself. At least contact the police now so that you can turn that around a bit.
Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 11/04/2022 17:51

I think people need to stop freaking the OP out. It's a totally understandable thing to be stressed and say you've contacted the police. She hasn't done anything wrong and looking guilty has fuck all to do with it. It's a defensive mechanism.

What OP has done is no more looking guilty than a rape victim looking like prey in a short skirt. Jesus wept.

saraclara · 11/04/2022 18:25

I'm afraid that it's very difficult to convince anyone of your honesty if in your next breath you tell them a great steaming lie. That's just common sense.

Shinyandnew1 · 11/04/2022 18:30

So despite loads of people on here telling you not to block her because it makes you look guilty and to go to the police, you have done neither, but have instead lied to her about going to the police. How bizarre.

Kingharoldshairstyle · 11/04/2022 18:35

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

I think people need to stop freaking the OP out. It's a totally understandable thing to be stressed and say you've contacted the police. She hasn't done anything wrong and looking guilty has fuck all to do with it. It's a defensive mechanism.

What OP has done is no more looking guilty than a rape victim looking like prey in a short skirt. Jesus wept.

Sadly that’s not quite true. Thr analogy doesn’t work. They are very different scenarios.

She’s been accused of theft. I can only assume because the woman genuinely believes she’s stolen the money. Lying to her then blocking her doesn’t do the op any favours. She needs to contact the police so it doesn’t look like she lied and she needs to unblock and not respond further, and let the police do their jobs.

You need to think of it from the other woman’s side and from the polices. The woman believes the op robbed her and is now lying about it. Lying about contacting the police then blocking her after makes it look like she’s proving her dishonesty then trying to hide or evade her. It’s not good. Pretending it is doesn’t help her at all. Right now she needs to be clean as a whistle. Because the woman one hundred percent believes the op robbed her ans she’s giving her a chance to return it to avoid further trouble for her. She’s wrong, clearly but that’s what she thinks and that’s what she’s going to tell the police.

FedUpthenaBitmore · 11/04/2022 18:35

There’s literally nothing she can do, even if she had proof I think. I had a cleaner years ago who stole items and I actually had proof and the police were not Interested at all . It wasn’t worth as much as £1k though maybe there’s a cut off where they do investigate?

Call her bluff about the footage and block her x

Ricksteinsfishwife · 11/04/2022 18:43

Don’t block her sigh unblock. I’m really shocked people are advising this. It’s so stupid. And damaging to the op.

When your employer accuses you of theft, you do not lie and do a runner, which is what blocking really is, you go to the police and involve them if you feel their procedures aren’t correct.

And I need to be honest, I was thinking poor op this is awful, but when she said she lied and blocked I thought “oh god I wonder if she did steal it” that’s how damaging that behaviour is.

Same with any employer employee relationship, if an employee is accused of theft it the employee denied, lied then did a runner so they couldn’t be contacted, I’d think they were guilty.

BrimFullOfAsher · 11/04/2022 22:22

@Ricksteinsfishwife it made me question the validity of the whole thing tbf rather than just no longer feel sorry for OP.

I'm expecting either a thread delete or OP to just not come back

Swipe left for the next trending thread