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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Being accused of stealing

147 replies

whatapalava22 · 11/04/2022 05:55

Hi I know this isn't meant for this forum but I know I will get help sooner .

I have been a cleaner for 5 years and have made some amazing friends through my job. The clean I am writing about I thought me and her were good friends and she trusted me. Obviously I was wrong.

The person in question always have from day 1 left a substantial amount of money around the house. I think through cash in hand jobs. Her partner owns his own business also. I have always put money away when coming across it and at the start used to take photos and send it to my boss just incase I was ever accused.

So last week I finished her clean and that was that . We had a few messages back and forth yesterday on about her weekend ect .

An hour later I just revived a text accusing me of stealing a grand yo to post it through the letter box. Then a camera emoji. First of all I didn't think it was ment for me so replied saying I think you might of sent this to the wrong person.

Message was read but no reply so I rang her and she didn't answer. I text again saying could she phone me when she sees this as I'm getting anxious. I have a reply gone ten last night saying you should be!

I was really upset yesterday that after all these years she thinks I would have took money and also the way she's being about it. I can see if the money has gone missing that she thinks I took it but really ? Why would anyone take a grand! A person I used to clean with when I 1st started took money and I told my boss straight away.

I have messaged her again saying I will cancel all my jobs today and come to hers to help her look even if it takes me all day but no reply again . She says she has footage but obviously hasn't because she would see me putting what ever I find in her tv draw .

I am just so upset about this all. I love my job and have got so many cleans that this could impact me severely if she starts telling people. I thought she knew me well enough by now that she knows I'm not a thief. I am even thinking of leaving cleaning because I have been in so many situations where I get accused and then a week later a text saying they found it. But no apology. I'm thinking of phoning the police today and telling them what's happened because it's really making me I'll with worry.

The money apparently went missing yesterday or that's when she noticed but last time I was at her house was Wednesday. I have a key to her house like I do all my cleans and I have never once in all my years entered a house with out them knowing. Even if I'm due to clean and I don't have a reply to say I'm coming I still don't go in until I have a message back.

I don't really know what I'm asking for by coming on here but maybe some advice please ? I'm also thinking maybe she has found it or realised that she's spent it before and maybe feels too embarrassed to tell me now ? I don't hold a grudge at all because I know I would probably think the same but no way would I ever act the way she has about it.

Thankyou for reading

OP posts:

NinjaQueen · 12/04/2022 16:36

I would go to the police, report it and ask them to return the key to her. I hope you get it all sorted.

Kingharoldshairstyle · 12/04/2022 16:43

@NinjaQueen

I would go to the police, report it and ask them to return the key to her. I hope you get it all sorted.

I never really understand why people think the police provide this sort of service.

Shinyandnew1 · 12/04/2022 16:44

I will 100 percent be going to the police tomorrow.

why I have not contacted the police is because I 100 percent don't have any faith in them at all anymore

100%? Right.

Rosehugger · 12/04/2022 17:05

Christ, will everyone stop bullying the OP?

If she hasn't done anything, she doesn't need to do anything other than sack her horrible, bullying client, block her, and never contact her again.

The only reason to contact the police would be if she wanted to complain about harassment, but she is not obliged to take any action in this matter either.

Rosehugger · 12/04/2022 17:07

Why on earth would she ask to see the footage? There is no footage. Forget it and move on.

LadyEloise1 · 12/04/2022 17:42

@whatapalava22
Put your big girl pants on and ask to see the footage.
Contact the police as advised by so many on this thread.
You are being accused of stealing quite a lot of money.
Be outraged if it's an untrue accusation.

Changeee1546789 · 12/04/2022 20:30

OP I totally get what you mean confrontation- it makes me feel sick too. I don’t think going to the police will do anything but I do think for the sake of your professional reputation you need to stand up to her. It’s an outrageous accusation, apparently without evidence, you must knock this on the head.

Kingharoldshairstyle · 12/04/2022 21:40

@Rosehugger

Christ, will everyone stop bullying the OP?

If she hasn't done anything, she doesn't need to do anything other than sack her horrible, bullying client, block her, and never contact her again.

The only reason to contact the police would be if she wanted to complain about harassment, but she is not obliged to take any action in this matter either.

Yeah as that’s what you do when your employer accuses you of theft. Quit and Do a runner.

Spot on advice there.

Original poster

whatapalava22 · 13/04/2022 14:38

Hi everyone I only now have Covid to top all this drama off 😢. So I'm sorry I havnt replied for a while . I contacted my ex customer yesterday and said could I take a look at the video footage she says she has . I apologised and said I should of asked for it from the start but my anxiety is through the roof . And guess what she seen it and then blocked me . So I'm a little confused about everything right now x

OP posts:

charlotterousse · 13/04/2022 15:02

@whatapalava22

@whatapalava22 She can't show you the footage for the simple reason that there isn't any. You know that.

It sounds as though you still view this woman as your friend and you're desperate to try and get the friendship back. All your apologetic messages to her sound almost like you're begging for her approval. I know this has been a dreadful upsetting shock, but you need to accept that she isn't your friend. She's a customer who has made an unfounded accusation, and it absolutely isn't your job to help her look for her money or review her imaginary footage to prove it wasn't you. You want to do these things because you think then she'll be your friend again.

Walk away from her. Concentrate on getting better from Covid. I've got it too and it's wiped me out, so goodness knows how you must feel with all this stress on top! You sound like a really conscientious worker and I'm sure your other customers will be sensible enough to see it.

One thing does occur to me: is there a chance that this woman could have been trying to extort money out of you? Asking for a thousand pounds to be posted through her letterbox sounds very suspicious when combined with the threat of the non-existent footage. There's a real possibility she was trying to scare you into giving her money, trusting that you'd be so anxious you would just do as she said.

IcedOatLatte · 13/04/2022 15:05

Well as she doesn't have the footage she's stuck now.

Unless you are contacted by the police which seems very unlikely I'd assume you won't hear from her again and write it off as a life lesson.

Did you take the key back yet? If not when you've recovered from covid take someone round when you return the keys and maybe even go so far as to take a video of you putting then through the letterbox so she can't say you didn't return them

LadyEloise1 · 13/04/2022 15:30

Well done for asking to see the footage.

Captnip500 · 13/04/2022 16:09

Op, I am not trying to diagnose anyone here, but I juts want to say that this situation reminds me a great deal of my aunt who had dementia. Some of the first signs in her were paranoia. She also kept thousands hanging around the house and would very regular misplace it and think it had been stolen. She accused many people of stealing and was certain that the money had been taken.

Original poster

whatapalava22 · 13/04/2022 17:50

@Captnip500

Hi op my Nan was exactly the same as your aunt . It was so distressing . I would sit with her for 12 hours at a time to reassure her that no one was in the house or trying to steal her money 😢 she would hide it in random places as well . Unless you haven't had to look after a family member or friend with dementia you don't know how awful it is . This person hasn't got dementia. She's in her late 20s . Forgetful more like ha ha x

OP posts:

Kingharoldshairstyle · 13/04/2022 17:54

Why are you confused? If you didn’t take it you already know there is no footage. That would be impossible, you can’t video what didnt occur.

LadyEloise100 · 21/04/2022 17:17

Any update @whatapalava22 ?
I would be gutted if someone accused me of stealing.

Maydaysoonenough · 21/04/2022 17:24

I hope you contacted the police op. In the past I have had bad experiences with them but also more recently some positive ones. They aren't all l the same. I am a cleaner too and really feel for you.

Shouldhavebeenkat · 21/04/2022 17:50

My thoughts, what if they KNOW FULL WELL you take any money found and put it in a specific drawer away from where you found it… would it be easy enough to set a camera to catch the taking but NOT the putting it safe? Are the two places very separate? Has she got form for being nasty to others or reason to need insurance money or claims against someone? The fact they say they have footage of you taking it concerned me.

BornBlonde · 21/04/2022 19:32

OP how are you? Did you go to the police?

Bednobsbroomsticks · 23/04/2022 07:15

Agree with other posters. I would be fuming going to the police and asking her to show them the footage is covering your back and your livelihood. Do this as soon as possible . My brother got accused of stealing from his job , got the sack then found out he was a long line of others who had also been sacked. It was the manager accusing them of the stealing who was eventually found to be doing it. You can't take this lying down.

LadyEloise1 · 09/06/2022 18:29

@whatapalava22
Did you sort it out ?

Harrystylestutu · 10/06/2022 03:56

Yeah @whatapalava22 , were all rooting for you please update is if you can.

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