Is he leaving me?

[emotionalpuddle]

I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm going to be sick. I haven't eaten in days. I know there's been something off with my DP but he's been denying it for weeks. He isn't cheating but has admitted he's feeling down, but doesn't know why. After pushing he's told me that he thinks we're together for convenience, he loves me but doesn't know if he wants to be with me. We're supposed to be getting married. I feel like my world is being turned upside down and my heart is being ripped out. It's the fact he isn't making a decision, I want to marry this man and he's like a zombie floating from one day to the next. I don't know why I'm posting. I don't have anyone IRL to talk to 😭

Maybe use the threat (don't carry it out) of informing his boss of the affair just as a push to get him to leave?

A solicitor maybe to help with how the house division goes?

How are you doing OP ? Sending a hug and hope you are managing to sort out your life

Definitely don't do the pick me dance. You sound so capable. Get your glad rags on, do the gym and occupy all your time with things for you 💜.

Not sure why I'm back on here for an update. I could have just left it but feels almost like a suitable way to end the past year.

After months of emotional, verbal and financial abuse. Including but not limited to locking me in the house, breaking into the bathroom while I showered, trying to blackmail my family for money 'for her happiness'.. trashing the house, bringing the OW round to my home and hacking into my phone, tablet etc to track my location (was at my brothers). Through the solicitors I've managed to get him out of my house, close the joint account and keep my sanity.. all while not putting a foot out of line and keeping the moral high ground.

He still sends me abuse, tries to get into my home and demands more money.. but I'm free and 2 stone lighter (16 stone if you count him 🤣)

Bloody good for you! Well done!!! Amazing update!

That's a fantastic update! What a narrow, escape you had. Well done!

I'm so pleased for you

I was reading your posts like a book! What a great outcome.

But what happened with his job and is he still with the 20 Something?

Well here's to the next book! Not just a new chapter 🙈

As far as I'm aware he's still with her, I do feel bad because I know whats in store for her if she stays 🤷🏼‍♀️ he'll be starting on her weight and appearance soon if he hasn't already. He hates larger women (he's no oil painting), always put me on a diet (I was a size 12/14) and bless her she's doubled in size in the last few months 😓 they still work together. They're hiding it from the company and blamed me for the separation. Which is fine.

You’ve really been through it, but come out the other side. Well done you!

So he was a through and through nasty arse then

Now he's out I'd be tempted to let his employers know why you split up!!!

Wow such a strong woman! Well done 👏

I hope you've bought him out of the house now. If you have report to the police if he breaks in, if not I hope it won't be long until you have managed to sever all ties. Well done.

What an utter arsehole. As you say, he won’t change.

You on the other hand, sound fabulous - well done for being so strong 🍷

I'd wondered whatever happened. So happy you got him out. Does that mean you've bought him out?

Now that you've kicked the shit off your shoes, you can dance into your future!

He still sends me abuse, tries to get into my home and demands more money..

Can he be reported to the police for harassment?

Wow, he is a total asshole isn't he! And you.......you are fucking fabulous!!

What an update and what a complete prick , you have certainly dodged a bullet there - well done OP!!!!! So happy for you 😊

Thank you everyone. This has all taught me I'm stronger than I realise and that the last 5 years especially were difficult and not the life I deserved.

People who I knew before the relationship have all said I'm back to my old self (confident, outgoing and funny). Friends I made whist we were together keep telling me I'm a completely different person now.. it's made me see how much of myself I'd lost to make him happy. I can finally wear what I want, go where I want and have friends again. Without having to ask permission, share my location (on the rare occasion he said yes I could go).

I did buy him out. I didn't want to move as I have a great support network and love my house. It annoyed him that my "pathetic little job".. I work full time thank you.. can support me and I don't need him to live all of my money went on bills anyway so I'm not much different financially speaking. Just glad I'd signed into a 5 year deal before this all happened and I could keep it!

Amazing update. Well done! 👏

Oh my goodness. What a woman you are.

So delighted to read this update.

So you realised with space that you were in a highly abusive relationship.

Did you involve the police?

Stealing, breaking in????

Is he back at home?
What was his mothers reaction?

He sounds like absolute scum and you have dodged the bullet of your life.

I would highly recommend that you gift yourself the online course so applauded on MN www.freedomprogramme.co.uk so that you learn to strengthen your boundaries.

So pleased you have the house and the support network around you.

Your parents must be so thrilled, proud and relieved, if you were my precious daughter I would be.

Many congratulations.

Absolutely amazing OP, well done you.

I love success stories like this well done OP! Thanks for sharing! Wishing you all the best for a glorious future full of sunshine and wishing them both spiders in their pyjamas

Wow, this is an amazing story and I'm so happy for you - onwards and upwards

Brilliant update!

That's great. He's out of your life. Move onwards and upwards. You've done great chalk it down to experience.. Good for you. 💐