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Relationships

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Original poster

Would you have dated your partner in secondary school or university?

151 replies

MoreHolidays · 31/03/2022 18:24

I hear a lot of women say they would not have dated their partner when they were younger and that their current partner is very different from their previous ones. How true is this for you?

OP posts:

ethelredonagoodday · 31/03/2022 21:28

Another person married to husband I met at uni. As are many, many of my friends.

TheLoupGarou · 31/03/2022 21:35

Yes, totally. We went to school in different UK nations though! We met at uni but were both dating other people so didn't get together until about 8 years later.

gingerhills · 31/03/2022 21:44

I might when he was at school, because he was very pretty and shy. But at uni I think he became quite arrogant and annoying which would have hugely turned me off. He'd grown out of that by the time I met him.

Twattergy · 31/03/2022 21:57

If I known him at uni he'd have been hugely in the friend zone. I would have thought he was fun and a lovely bloke but I wouldnt have fancied him at all.

Fromtheashesiriseagain · 31/03/2022 22:59

Absolutely. Current (yet new) relationship is with a close friend I've had a huge crush on since I was 13 and we were in the same class at school. I never told him, when I was younger I thought he would never be interested in me and over the years the timing was never right. We got together after I drunkenly told him earlier this year.

He had no idea and apparently I'm pretty rubbish at flirting if I hadn't said anything he would still be non the wiser!

Turns out he felt the same the whole time too so now we're enjoying being together and getting to know one another in this new capacity.

RedRec · 31/03/2022 23:03

We went to the same school but never knew each other then (he is three school years older). But I really fancied a boy in his year who turned out to be one of his best friends.

RedRec · 31/03/2022 23:07

So the answer is I don't really know as was looking at the wrong boy all along

BoJoSecretGF · 31/03/2022 23:08

I couldn’t possibly date my DH at school as he would have been in Year 7 when I was doing my A Levels and that is just wrong. Now that he’s 50 I am a cougar and proud of my toy boy.

Laptopsandmouses · 31/03/2022 23:12

No not a chance at school, he’d have been too staid for me, I liked older bad boys, but by uni when I met him I was slightly more sensible and had, to be brutally honest, been through a shed load of older bad boys and they’d lost their appeal. 😁

merryhouse · 31/03/2022 23:14

Completely.

I mean, we got together in my first year at university...

If I'd known him at school I'd definitely have had an embarrassing crush on him, so good thing I didn't really

He reckons there's no way he'd have gone out with me because I was two years younger and that was Completely Unacceptable - which doesn't tie with my recollections, but maybe only Certain People were cradle-snatchers...

Pegasussnail · 31/03/2022 23:18

We have a lot in common but no. He is very very traditional and I wanted to break away from my upbringing which also was strict.
We actually dated in my mid 20s and I felt it wasn't right.
Now we are in our 40s and it works.

Pegasussnail · 31/03/2022 23:19

Plus I wanted to have some fun and I did

DoucheCanoe · 31/03/2022 23:20

Yes, I did. DH and I started "going out" at school and been together 21 years :)

TedMullins · 31/03/2022 23:24

No, definitely not. I’m 4 years older for a start and in school I was an emo/scene kid into skater boys and he was a chubby nerd. We only met when he was 28 and I 32, but I’ve seen pictures. There’s no way I would’ve fancied him. He’s very attractive now though!

TerribleCustomerCervix · 31/03/2022 23:24

Absolutely not. He seemed to take a long time to mature.

He’s an amazing husband and father now he’s in his late 30s, but if I’d met him at 21 I’d have thought him a total twat.

CthulhuInDisguise · 31/03/2022 23:56

We have very different backgrounds so he probably wouldn't have been interested in a private school girly swot like me! He was very cool but a bit troubled as a teen from what he's said. I would have fancied him like mad but he's 6 years older so that again would have been a barrier. He was gorgeous as a young man, but has matured like a fine wine so I'm glad I met him in his late 40s!

absol · 01/04/2022 00:04

I definitely would have I really liked him when I was 13 but he was 20 and my friends brother we briefly got together at her 18th and I'm now 26, we've been together 3 years with a DS

MrsMoastyToasty · 01/04/2022 00:24

We wouldn't have met at school. I went to a girl's only boarding school and he went to a boys only comprehensive school.

He was also in a year below me,and dating someone younger was social suicide. i was also saving myself for Simon Le Bon

sarah13xx · 01/04/2022 00:30

Yes! We went to the same school, were in the same year group and I ‘fancied’ him the entire time. In saying that, so did every other girl in our year really. I wasn’t one of nice looking or popular girls, I was smart though 😂 I would never have even voiced out loud that I liked him because I didn’t stand a chance. We didn’t speak a word to each other in the 5/6 years we went to the same school but bizarrely we were at the same party one night and are in the same picture. I look back at the picture now and think, if only I’d turned round and said we’ll be married with a child one day! 😂 He would never have believed me. I left school, went off to uni, dyed my hair, got slightly better looking and he messaged me 4 years later. It didn’t come to much for a few years but did eventually. I still look back and pinch myself that we’re now together!

LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 01/04/2022 00:35

No way! My younger self is cringing! I imagine his is too.

But I wish we could have met sooner. Life has been so good together. I could have saved myself so much pain.

AuntTwacky · 01/04/2022 01:07

No he's 7 years younger than me!

youlightupmyday · 01/04/2022 01:17

No, we would have had a very toxic relationship. He was ball of testosterone and ADHD and I was a very opinionated feminist but I don't doubt our chemistry would have been incredible. Hence toxic. Also he is v working class and I was at a good public school. We would have clashed everywhere. Now we are 50, we have both lived very unusual lives that led us to pretty much the same point, and country, and so we have so much more in common. And dare I say it, we have mellowed. He is the love of my life

Giggorata · 01/04/2022 01:55

I did.

PyjamasOClock · 01/04/2022 03:54

Probably not - I was painfully shy and he was the Junior British Champion for some of the latin dances, competing at a very high level, whereas I had my nose in my books. As a result he didn't go to uni but went round the world and I went to study medicine.
Now, we're both 40, would have been same school year but then opposite ends of the country, we're both disabled and balancing what we'd like to do vs what's possible and are just brilliantly suited. The difference in background is now a source of interest for us both.

Wiredforsound · 01/04/2022 05:33

I’d definitely have dated mine though he says he’d have been to scared to talk to me. I was a sort of indie hippy girl while he was an Ubernerd and still is. I’ve always had a thing for nerds.

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