Should I leave my boyfriend after he gripped me by the throat in argument when he was drunk?

[HLS26]

Hi there, yesterday my boyfriend came home drunk we had an argument about a secret folder he had on his phone, I tried to grab the phone off him to show him and he grabbed my by throat and said I was lucky he didn't headbut me. Should I leave now?

Would you think this was acceptable if he did it to one of his friends, his mum or his child? - of course not. So don’t question it just because it’s you.

The whole thing seems a mess anyway - secret folders, you grabbing his phone and him verbally threatening you.
The relationship needs to end even if he didn’t physically assault you.

What @WonderfulYou said. This relationship is a none starter. You need to leave.

Yes, you leave now OP !

He's lying, he's hiding stuff, he took you by the throat and he thinks it's 'good' that he didn't also headbutt you ffs !

'Men' like him, think nothing of physically and emotionally abusing you, and then tell you it's YOUR fault for 'provoking' them

He'll only ever expect you to put up with any and all manner of abuse, because you're scared of his reaction if you challenge him.

It NEVER ends well. The best you can do is to get out NOW.

Yes.

Yes. Straight away, and the only explanation you should give him is that there is never a reason for physical aggression in a relationship.

I am sorry you had to experience this.

Of course you should leave him

Yes. In fact I hope you have gone. This will only get worse.

The fact that you're even asking this question shows that you need to seriously work on your standards and boundaries. If you're willing to even consider staying after he quite easily could have killed you then your bar is so low as to practically be non-existent. We can and should collectively hold men to a much higher standard than that.

I would advise two things. 1) immediately block him and cut off all contact (there is no point trying to explain to him why) and 2) do some reading about the different types of abuse and how they manifest themselves in men.

Absolutely yes.

Yes. Now. Then call the police.

I actually despair....do you think people will say 'oh no, definitely stay and wait for next time'?

Of course you should. No question.

I spent ten years working with people dealing with Domestic Abuse from their partners. Any form of choking is extremely worrying. The two women who I had to stand up in court during their partners murder trials were choked by them in the past. One of the men (described as a "loving and attentive father" by a neighbour) also suffocated his 3 small children.
Please leave quickly and take only essentials. The police should be able to escort you to get anything else. Also file a report as this could be vital later.
Tell some people in RL it makes it easier to process.

Well he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t respect you, he’s definitely going to attack you again if you stay, and there’s a distinct possibility he might murder you when he attacks you again. So, yeah, leaving seems like the sensible thing to do.

Contact Women’s Aid. They can give you some good advice.

Wow scary. Yes.

Please leave him !! He is also secretive with his phone which means he can't be trusted . If he had nothing to hide he would have just given you his phone . You should thank your lucky star that you are not married to this man . Get out and find someone who respects you .

Yes. He’s shown you his true colours. Believe him. Dump his arse.

Yes leave. Now.

To put it bluntly, any attempted strangulation or grabbing by the throat is an indication of him potentially killing you in the future.

I will post a link to this when I'm on my laptop.

Adding to the chorus of 'yes, leave him immediately'.

Without doubt - leave immediately

Yes, leave him.

Yes
Just from reading the title of your post - yes

Yes. No ifs no buts.

I don’t mean to sound rude, but he tried to kill you and you’re wondering if you should leave or not?
Park your or his bags, tell the police and block him. It’s never a one off.