He had an affair. Now says he feels trapped…?

[BiscuitChart]

So he had an affair. Now he’s saying he feels trapped in our marriage and because I found out about the affair it’s given him an out. I feel like he’s only feeling trapped because being married with kids is a lot less fun than shagging a young woman with no worries in the world.

Please give me advice, preferably from marriage councillors, on how to get him to wake up and realise how good he’s got it at home? I can forgive this indiscretion, but he’s not giving me the chance and says he went out as he’s trapped.

Anyone here got their man to see sense? Please??

I’d rather stay with him whilst the children are small, we get on really well, I’ve no career as I have it up to have kids

I get where you are coming from in terms of financial security and having young kids. However, family break ups seem to be far more traumatic for older children than younger ones, IMO. Younger children seem to adapt better to changes in the family unit (going from a one home environment to two homes, for instance)

Also, you are getting older too. Do you really want to waste the rest of your youth and energy on this man? It's a lot harder to start over the older you are and you will likely be filled with such regret at wasting your best years on this dickhead.

@BiscuitChart

Thank you ladies. You’re all formidable women and i am learning a lot. I’d really rather this hadn’t happened, but it has. I’m going down the fuck you move out route. With genuine, heartfelt thanks to everyone who has given a damn about this in the last 24 hours. I owe you all a drink xxxxx

Thank goodness you're stepping back into your power and taking control of your position. He's a cheat and cares not a jot for you. He will probably try to come crawling back when the OW gets tired of him so it'd be good to prepare for that so you aren't side swiped by it and cave in because he'll then have permission to do it again.

Well done OP, you’re worth far more than begging for someone who’s not interested to love you back.

Can someone post a link to The Script

OP if you really want to win back anything you’ll cut him off. Tell him to go. Don’t be the one fighting.

You lose you value and attractiveness in waiting and letting him call the shots.

You really want to come out on top? Be cold and cut him off completely. With no explanation .

Watch as he scrambles and scrapes… it might even take some time but this is how it goes.

While you throw this beast off your back… relish your independence and start to care for yourself again. Go to the gym, have fun with friends, be an actual whole person without him.

If you do this once he comes crawling you won’t even want him. He is trash.

I’m glad you’ll tell him to move out. If you have any doubts read your post as if you were a stranger. I will bet you know what needs too be done!

You’re doing the right thing!

@Yankydoodledandy

Can someone post a link to The Script

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script