I am staying at my DP's house at the moment. We have been in a long distance relationship for 7 months and we are planning to relocate and move in together soon. We normally see each other at least once a fortnight, sometimes every weekend. It's a serious relationship and we are thinking of getting engaged soon. Everything was fine until last night.
We were in bed together and he asked me if I would do a sexual act (anal) that he really likes on his birthday which is coming up soon. I know he wants to do it as he constantly mentions it during sex. I am a bit reluctant to do this as I've never done it with any previous partners and I assumed he hadn't either. He has only been in one relationship before me and he told me that they were not a good match sexually. I said maybe we could do it and that he'd need to be careful and he replied that he knew how to do it slowly etc.
I asked if he'd done it before and was shocked when he said he had and that he'd done it with his ex. I know it's really stupid but it upset me a lot. I am insecure about his ex anyway as they were each other's firsts and were together for years. He and his family often brought her up early in the relationship (not in a bad way but more to say that he is more compatible with me because he and his ex often fought.) But all I could think about was him doing that with her and being really into it. It makes me feel sick to think that he did that with her and now he's being intimate with me. I understand how irrational it is because everyone has a past but the way he spoke about his ex made me think that this never happened with them.
I became emotional and told him how I felt. It didn't help that I was near my period and I'm feeling more sensitive than normal. I said to him that he and his ex have done everything together and I don't feel like I can compete. He said I was obsessing over nothing and that it's me he sees a future with. The word 'obsessing' annoyed me because I literally never bring her up. I always hide my true feelings but yesterday I just lost it. It's more like the other way around. He is often saying he's jealous of my exes.
Ever since this happened, he's been colder towards me. We are normally a very tactile couple so it's noticeable. I've apologised about what happened and tried to talk about it but he says not to make a big deal of it. But things are definitely strange now. When he came back from work, he said 'are you happy today or crazy like yesterday?' It's like he can't understand my feelings. He told me I change when I'm near my period and now I feel like he's not sure he wants to be with me if I behave like this. I wish I could rewind time and take it all back. Does anyone have any advice about how I can fix this situation?