Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

gelatodipistacchio
I think I’m probably putting up with some poor behaviours in order to have said sex life (nothing majorly bad but , still / annoying)
But right now , it will do just fine - and kids away next week

You want sex more or boyfriend more ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated hey, if the balance tips in favour of sex life even with some annoyance, that sounds great!

I am cursed with being unable to have a sex life without a boyfriend. I actually was a bit worried that I may have lost all sex drive in the past 3-4 years (pre- and post-leaving abusive ex), but now that I have a possible boyfriend option, it's all I can think about

I hope your week improves Shay

Yay gelato!

gelatodipistacchio

You’ve got your horn back
Yay !!! It won’t go away now , and will eventually start to annoy you !!

@WeWantTheFinestWines thanks!!!

@Thisisworsethananticpated haha wait, is this a good thing????

gelatodipistacchio
It’s not a bad thing but I’ve been perma horny since June !! Before that , like you it was a few years . I don’t think I even wanked once in 2020

Thanks @WeWantTheFinestWines x the news at work is going to hugely affect me going forwards but hopefully everything will work out. It was just a shock yesterday but I feel better now.
I really feel like I need to get out there, meet new people…(men.. lol) how can this be done without the horror show of OLD? Guess if anyone knew the answer to this, no one would be on there?? 🙂

@Thisisworsethananticpated

gelatodipistacchio It’s not a bad thing but I’ve been perma horny since June !! Before that , like you it was a few years . I don’t think I even wanked once in 2020

😂😂😂 you are so funny 😆😆

I really started thinking I was asexual then when when I fancied MrTurk I was like oh no its definitely still there! Phew!

@ButterflyOfShay
Learn to ride a motorcycle, you will meet loads of men..

Years ago a work colleague of mine decided to take salsa dancing lessons, he said there were loads of women there, he started dating one, got married, couple of kids, happily ever after..

@Thisisworsethananticpated

gelatodipistacchio It’s not a bad thing but I’ve been perma horny since June !! Before that , like you it was a few years . I don’t think I even wanked once in 2020

That’s so funny perma horny

I’ve always fancied learning to ride a motorcycle.

Someone on this thread (sorry don’t remember who), asked me if Ms H actually had time to date, and I’m beginning to think the answer is No,
She seems to like the idea of dating (and sex), but she works evenings, so we don’t see each other during the week, she does “horse things”, most of Saturday, so we have Sat Evenings and a bit of time Sunday and that’s about it, so we don’t really seem to “fit”, very well at the moment.
She doesn’t want me to meet her daughter ( fair enough), so I don’t go over there much,
So I’m currently feeling like it’s not really working very well for me.
So I’m thinking about asking how she would feel about staying over a mine one night a week,
Her DD is 17 (18 this year), is that too young to leave overnight?

You can always ask @HowlongWillThisTakeNow I wouldn't have thought it's too young (I was 16 when my parents started leaving me and my sibling (+2yrs) overnight but I know it's a very personal thing and obviously depends on a lot of factors, not least how responsible her DD is.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I think some people genuinely have a lot of commitments, want a relationship but haven't considered spare time.
I put Mr K in this category and its the one thing that I think could end us.

You meed to ask Ms H because all 17/18yr olds are different.
My DD did not like being left overnight until she was 17, we live rurally so that played a big part. I have 2 large dogs but even so she didn't want to be left so I would go out for the evening only.

Also consider Ms H 's feelings around her job, some people just need down time after work and to relax rather than meet/entertain people.

I know if I have evening meetings when I get home I just want a coffee, bath,bit of reading and bed. The thought of making conversation fills me with dread because I'm exhausted.

Re the Whatsapping style this has caused me stress because my bf is the first I have dated since splitting with my STBXH and so my first experience of messaging a bf. His style is very functional and I found this upsetting till I trained him to add a kiss 😀 and a friend suggested I tell him I really like pics, so he sends those (nothing saucy -he would never do that!) but this has prompted a lot more messages as he doesn’t have think of words…He also now seems to read and respond to my messages promptly.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow there definitely comes a point where someone has to factor in how they are going to fit someone into their lives. Does she make plans with you ahead of time in the free time she has?

I’m posting here to warn women of the very real dangers of dating and Walter Mitty types. This has happened to me but I relentlessly called him out and have exited financially unscathed but a little shell shocked. If anyone would like further information I would be happy to discuss further on DM. Please be very careful. The individual in question may soon be back on sites.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow, I think you should ask Miss H about best time to see each other and then if there’s clearly an issue you could suggest the midweek overnight. It may well depend on how separate she wants to keep her dating life from her home life. If she agrees to staying out then she’s essentially telling her DD that she is seeing someone. It’s early days, I think you have only met a handful of times, it may goes from strength to strength, it may falter. I kept my dating separate to my home life and in a potentially rather old fashioned way I definitely didn’t want my DDs to think I was meeting lots of different men. So I had to accept restrictions but got inventive with daytimes or manoeuvred odd nights when they were elsewhere.
On a separate note has she replied to the message about dinner on Easter Saturday? Personally I would find a lack of response rather rude. Even if she’s not sure if she can commit, the very least you should have got back was ‘ oh that sounds lovely, let me check and I promise to let you know by ….’

@nonethewiser74 thanks for warning. Think always good to proceed slowly in relationships, particularly before making any big life decisions like moving in together, sharing finances, lending money etc. It takes time to really know someone, always look at the evidence and think carefully. You did well to escape unscathed!

@Stayingstrongish yes, devastating. I once heard it said that whilst you might not ever trust anyone, what you should trust is your ability to walk away. Nothing lost, just smarting.. but this is a very real global context so again please do not hesitate to contact.

Am I the only one to get over invested too quickly. I my defence I am ill and housebound but still. Have been texting Mr Movies over the last 48 hours, he hasn’t replied for a couple of hours and I’m twitchy.

Especially now we have moved to WhatsApp so I can check he’s been online.

@JangolinaPitt great idea to subtly let them know that you like pics, it’s a nice way to share what they did that day without pressure of coming up with words