Dating Thread 226: Springing into Spring

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Well, I've been chatting to a couple of guys, two gone silent already and one was full of suggestions after 2/3 messages 🤦 bye then.
Another one is already calling me sweetheart and gorgeous, been chatting for a few days, seems a bit..... Full on, really, asking for my number, lives with parents (not necessarily a red flag depending on reason?) I don't know, he's doing my head in a bit already, but how do I be nice about that? Nothing inappropriate, just full throttle.

One guy chatting but at a good pace, have a lot in common.

Kind of losing it. I have a date tomorrow that I am pretty excited about. Just went into a spiral about how old and gross I feel. Being a 40s something single mum is my nightmare scenario and I don't really know how it is that I am coping so badly suddenly

Just to clarify - not sure if I am in such a bad way that I should just cancel or what. It's not a good time for me emotionally I guess?

@gelatodipistacchio can you dedicate some time today to pamper yourself? Put aside a couple of hours.. nice face mask, put some good music on, maybe a meditation, have a vitamin c booster and make your skin glow. Bring your confidence back to yourself! Good luck with the date 🥰

@gelatodipistacchio Has something happened to make you feel like this?
No one expects to be a single parent at any age but it happens to lots of people.

Do you know where you are in your cycle? Ovulation lowers estrogen which in turn lowers your mood.

If its not linked to your cycle and these are long term thoughts would speaking to your GP or a Counsellor help?

If you're not feeling it today cancel the date otherwise its another stress.

🤗💞

@gelatodipistacchio I’m a (nearly!) 40s something single mum too. I bet you have loads going for you. And whether a relationship works out or not, your children will always love you. This is what I am trying to comfort myself with anyway!

@gelatodipistacchio, go for it, he might be a tall dark handsome fella, or if your really lucky he might be old and grey like me ! 😂😂

Hi all, I have a date on Wednesday evening 😬. The last date I had we met somewhere I had never been which makes me ultra nervous but this time we are meeting somewhere I know which helps me to be less nervous about it all.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I have some huge life news. Last Thursday I handed in my notice at work and will be leaving at Easter. The new job is a step up carer wise and also getting out of the toxic environment

Marvellous news, well done! You must be so excited 😆

gelatodipistacchio
I’m a 48 year old single mum
I do get very stressed about my sen son to the extent I wonder if I can date
But I push on through haha
However my age with guys isn’t an issue
I thought it would be
I was mistaken

You can only decide what’s best xx

But sending a strong hand hold
Your value is high
Don’t doubt that

@Boiledcabbages

Hi all, I have a date on Wednesday evening 😬. The last date I had we met somewhere I had never been which makes me ultra nervous but this time we are meeting somewhere I know which helps me to be less nervous about it all.

Woooooo good luck!! 🌟🌟

[quote cravingthelook]@Trippingslippingx1 - I'd have screenshot it all. You can't be made out to be the bad guy when you've got objective evidence.

[/quote]
I did screen shot and he told her ‘he did not delete the profile but deleted the app’ and he had no idea why he was ‘just joined’ must have been hacked.

So I have a question around the delicate subject of money,

Ms H works full time, ( I don’t think she earns a huge amount) but also has horse, small mortgage, daughter, living costs etc, all of which is none of my business, but I don’t think she has much left at the end of the month, for treats, days out etc.

Anyhow I know she is bit of a foodie, so I would like to take her to few nicer places to eat, nothing fancy, just some gastropub style places, where she probably wouldn’t normally go, so what would be a way to suggest this without her feeling the need to pay 1/2 or somehow repay me as I know she likes to pay her own way.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow Oh that's so lovely and I think she would be fine with a "my treat" meal at this stage. Hope you arrange and have a great time🙂

@ButterflyOfShay thanks! Weirdly, I had a facial and spa day yesterday, so I am not sure where this has come from! I will pamper myself today before the date

@SortingItOut actually, I probably am at that stage of my cycle. I think that I will power through and go on the date. I'm not working today, so I will probably do some yoga to get my endorphins going (something I haven't done since covid hit, really), and wear something that makes me feel good

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I agree that calling it 'my treat' makes it clear you're paying.

If she's like me and wants everything 50/50 then when she says she can't do the same back or wants to also do something nice suggest that either she cooks for you or some eaterie that doesn't cost much.

@Stayingstrongish these are all good points! And it's also a good reminder that I (and you, and all of us!) Have a lot more going on in our lives than just trying to find someone to date. It's a small thing, really.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow we actually had a video chat, and I decided based on that (obviously prematurely) that he would be a great boyfriend. I've been on and off the apps for at least a year now and never have been so optimistic before - probably why I am freaking out now, self-sabotaging or thinking I don't deserve a relationship.

(He's fairly tall, not too dark, but attractive!)

@Thisisworsethananticpated thanks

It's nice to hear stories of others' courage and success (because I know that you haven't had a problem attracting men!)

@Boiledcabbages ooh good luck! Home turf advantage is always good

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow that's so sweet! I agree that saying "my treat" would work.

gelatodipistacchio

The word ‘fun’ in my profile helped 😁
And the G cups 🤣

Ive just made a post about a guy I matched with bumble. I had a look at his website and also his social media. He is wearing a ring on his ring 4th finger which looks like a signet ring. Would this be a red flag to anyone? He says he is never married and no kids aged 44

We all do that gelato
Get excited about someone early
Everyone does it
Men too , everyone !

Everyone wants to meet that special someone
Otherwise why the fuck are we dating

Be kind to yourself please
And know your worth
I know it’s in the thread rules but you seem to have forgotten

@Thisisworsethananticpated