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Original poster

Honest opinions of what you would think of a woman who said this?

120 replies

Greensandon · 12/03/2022 15:37

OK so plese be brutally honest. I will explain why I'm asking after.

What would you think of a woman who messaged her "boyfriend" ( things are not that serious but been seeing eachother for 8 months) and got a bit "naughty" in the text messages telling him to come over, she's in bed waiting for him and much she wants him / (gagging) for him she is?

What would you think? And do you think the man would think less of her?

OP posts:
ValkyrieVik · 12/03/2022 16:47

Good for you OP!

FantasticFebruary · 12/03/2022 16:47

How were things when he left? (How long ago was this?). Has he messaged you since??

But frankly if that put him off in anyway, I'd be glad to find out sooner rather than later!

Liz1tummypain · 12/03/2022 16:48

None of my concern what people get up to in consenting adult relationships.

EBearhug · 12/03/2022 16:49

I'd expect a similar sort of message in response. If he doesn't, then he's not likely to be the right sort of man for me. The most recent one said I should write an erotic novel. I might have spoiled the moment by banging on about editorial standards, quality of writing and plot...

But I agree with those who say it's a normal part of most relationships these days - it's fine if it's not, because everyone is allowed to set their own boundaries, and not everyone is keen on lots of reading or writing (not that a text saying "I want you" is a lot of either.) But if you’re not into it, it's possible to give that feedback without doing the sender down and belittling them. If that is the response you got, then I'd be questioning the relationship.

Suprima · 12/03/2022 16:52

@ValkyrieVik

Pretty pathetic to be so vocally gagging for someone who has been shagging her for 8 months, seeing her ‘unseriously’ and won’t make her his official girlfriend

How do you know she doesn't just love sex? I tell dh I'm gagging for it quite often - and did before we were married.

Women are allowed to love sex you know?

I love sex Envy

When I was having flings as a single woman, I was not so insecure in my partners that I would be panicking over messages sent to them and over thinking every word. Overthinking suggests there is emotional involvement where it doesn’t warrant it.

But of course, paint me as prude because I did ‘you go girl!’ Confused

WhoAre · 12/03/2022 16:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

EBearhug · 12/03/2022 16:53

He enjoyed it and came over. But I've been having irrational thoughts that I've messed things up with him.

Doesn't sound like it. But I've learnt not to trust premenstrual doom thinking. Most times, the thoughts are gone within a day of my period starting, when a couple of days earlier, it would have all been doom and gloom and hopeless and everyone must hate me, and there's no point to anything. If thoughts persist beyond my period, then I need to take action about it. But most times, it just goes.

Laniania · 12/03/2022 16:58

EBearhug that is bloody good advice. (Pun not intended but oh well.)

Georgeskitchen · 12/03/2022 17:05

I would say perfectly acceptable for a couple who are sexually attracted to each other!!

Margaretmatcher · 12/03/2022 17:14

I used to txt my then dp(now my dh) I am in bed would you like to join me. But he worked nights lol

katepilar · 12/03/2022 17:27

I cant possibly think anything about someone when the only thing I know about them is what you said above. Even if you quoted its impossible.

Lastqueenofscotland · 12/03/2022 17:32

Those kind of exchanges aren’t for me. Me and DP don’t text like that… but between you adults who presumably enjoy sexual activities with each other… fine.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 12/03/2022 17:34

I hope you didnt use the word, "gagging."
Nothing at all wrong with suggestive messages or asking him to come over but I find the term, "gagging for it," really unattractive and it would absolutely put me off.

On another note, are you happy in the relationship? After 8 months, it is a bit odd to not be committed. If you're happy then that's great, but are you happy? Or do you want to be a committed boyfriend and girlfriend?

ThisLifeSuxx · 12/03/2022 17:39

@inmyslippers

I can't help but think there is more to this story
This.

I haven't read the entire thread but is the woman in question you, OP?

You can tell us. This is an anonymous forum.

HaggisBurger · 12/03/2022 17:41

I’d not worry. Totally lovely thing to do in a relationship with someone. We carry so much shame as women about our sexual desire and expressing it when in fact it’s a joyful thing. Presumably he responded in kind / with enthusiasm to such messages?

ThisLifeSuxx · 12/03/2022 17:42

@Greensandon

Thank you all Flowers. Yes it was me. I would never usually send anything intimate that could be shared/shown to others but I was genuinely horney Blush and wanted to see him (never sent such messages before).

He enjoyed it and came over. But I've been having irrational thoughts that I've messed things up with him. I am near that time of the month and I do tend to think irrationally around that time of the month.

Thank you.

Sorry, I have just seen this.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it but if he starts acting weird then kick him to the curb. Women are allowed to have and express sexual needs just as much as men are.

ThisLifeSuxx · 12/03/2022 17:43

The most recent one said I should write an erotic novel. I might have spoiled the moment by banging on about editorial standards, quality of writing and plot...

This made me chuckle Grin

Let us know how that erotic novel went down! Would be very interested to know Wink

Bromse · 12/03/2022 17:52

I wouldn't give it a thought; however I think it is silly to send such messages as they could be used by 'boyfriend' in the future, maybe for a joke, and she would likely be unimpressed. Nevertheless she said nothing that someone wouldn't say over the telephone :-).

After eight months of seeing each other regularly they probably consider themselves to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend'.

Bromse · 12/03/2022 17:57

I see now it was you, Greensandon, you saucy minx you :-). Glad the outcome was good, I love a happy ending.

MouseholeCat · 12/03/2022 18:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with sending horny texts to a consenting adult you're in a sexual relationship with or having a booty call after such texts. Pretty normal behaviour these days.

I would question why you feel you've messed things up though. Is it because you're concerned that he's only seeing you for sex and things aren't getting more serious?

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 12/03/2022 18:04

I would consider this normal.

I would have thought the bloke would have been delighted.

Blue4YOU · 12/03/2022 18:07

I’ve said worse! Tbh to my now DH but I’m up for saying what I want and how I want it and gagging for it is fine - it’s not a court document or something

5128gap · 12/03/2022 18:09

I'd think nothing. It's fairly normal in a sexual relationship.

PoshPyjamas · 12/03/2022 18:15

If such a normal thing has messed it up, then it wasn’t the right relationship for you.

WonderfulYou · 12/03/2022 18:33

It’s absolutely fine and I can’t ever imagine a relationship where we don’t text each other like this!

Women are allowed to want and enjoy sex just as much as men.

Stop overthinking things and enjoy yourself!