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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Honest opinions of what you would think of a woman who said this?

120 replies

Greensandon · 12/03/2022 15:37

OK so plese be brutally honest. I will explain why I'm asking after.

What would you think of a woman who messaged her "boyfriend" ( things are not that serious but been seeing eachother for 8 months) and got a bit "naughty" in the text messages telling him to come over, she's in bed waiting for him and much she wants him / (gagging) for him she is?

What would you think? And do you think the man would think less of her?

OP posts:
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 12/03/2022 15:40

How would I even know about it?

I do think that women are adults and so have adult sexual feelings and that is not a negative thing, it is normal.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/03/2022 15:43

After 8 months?!? Kinda normal.

PurpleDaisies · 12/03/2022 15:43

Is this what you’ve done?

I would be concerned about whether her trust that he won’t show those messages to his mates (especially if they later broke up) was justified. I’m sure the recipient would quite like it though.

WouldIwasShookspeared · 12/03/2022 15:45

I'd think she was weird for telling me about it. 😁

What do I think of people texting sexual stuff? As long as they aren't texting me, I don't give a shit.

AwayInMyMind · 12/03/2022 15:47

Not a lot.

Riverlee · 12/03/2022 15:47

I think the woman was being flirtatious with her boyfriend, and its nobody else’s business.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 12/03/2022 15:47

I'd think she was horny and flirting with her boyfriend and hope they had fun
What do you think about it?

SemperIdem · 12/03/2022 15:47

Confused wouldn’t think anything, it’s hardly unusual.

Pinkbonbon · 12/03/2022 15:47

Lets be honest, if he's been seeing her for 8 months but she isn't his girlfriend...he doesn't have any respect for her anyway.

Unless an agreement was made between them early on that this was just a friends with benefits thing. In which case she wouldn't be worried about how asking hi for a shag would appear anyway.

In the scenario you've mentioned I would assume she had no self love. And low boundaries. Not because she is asking him to come round for fun. But because she has been 'seeing' this guy for 8 months and worries he doesn't respect her - because he CLEARLY doesn't respect her.

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 12/03/2022 15:48

I would think she wants to shag her boyfriend.

After 8 months I would assume he wants to shag her too since they are seeing each other and would be delighted at the messages.

Totally normal.

ValkyrieVik · 12/03/2022 15:49

It's an entirely normal th8ng to do...I texted dh yesterday saying something similar.

But if I friend told me I'd probably think "tmi - why are you telling me this?" I don't want to know intimate details about friends sex lives in general!

Kanaloa · 12/03/2022 15:49

I mean context is a bit important. If she shared it on the parents and guardians school WhatsApp I’d think what a fucking weirdo. If she messaged it privately to her boyfriend and he shared it I’d think what an unpleasant dick. Either way I’d hope she’d thought it through but then I’m not one for sharing intimate things over text/social media, especially in a short relationship. You just never know.

8lue8ird · 12/03/2022 15:50

Pretty standard I think

NightmareSlashDelightful · 12/03/2022 15:50

I would say I am more irritated by the pre-dripfeed and withholding of context and information in your OP than I would be by the situation described in your OP.

ValkyrieVik · 12/03/2022 15:51

In the scenario you've mentioned I would assume she had no self love. And low boundaries. Not because she is asking him to come round for fun. But because she has been 'seeing' this guy for 8 months and worries he doesn't respect her - because he CLEARLY doesn't respect her

How did you come to this conclusion? OP said nothing of the kind!?

Pinkbonbon · 12/03/2022 15:53

@ValkyrieVik

In the scenario you've mentioned I would assume she had no self love. And low boundaries. Not because she is asking him to come round for fun. But because she has been 'seeing' this guy for 8 months and worries he doesn't respect her - because he CLEARLY doesn't respect her

How did you come to this conclusion? OP said nothing of the kind!?

Because she wouldn't be worried that a decent fella would think less of her just because she instigated dirty talk.

She wouldn't think 'oh he might think less of me'.

That idea just wouldn't enter her head. IF he was a decent man who was making her feel safe and secure.

Lubeyboobyalt · 12/03/2022 15:53

Normal

inmyslippers · 12/03/2022 15:53

I can't help but think there is more to this story

iwishu · 12/03/2022 15:54

I'd think it's normal and wouldn't think the man to think any less of her, after 8 months I'd assume they already had a sexual relationship

grapewines · 12/03/2022 15:55

"Good for you but why are you telling me about it?"

Byefornow · 12/03/2022 15:55

Did the guy not like it or something?

Pinkbonbon · 12/03/2022 15:56

Basicly, if you've been seeing eachother and eeping together for months...surely you shouldn't be insecure about sending him a dirty text.

If you do then something is seriously up.
You clearly are feeling insecure in this 'relationship'.

diplop · 12/03/2022 15:59

A woman who has the confidence to ask for what she wants.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 12/03/2022 16:00

My then (now dh) can't multi task so would have been driving not thinking...

Aquamarine1029 · 12/03/2022 16:02

She's obviously a harlot who should be run out of the village.

Confused

But seriously, this seems normal to me. What's the big deal?