Amazing first date but then he sent me this message.

[Milomonster]

I met a lovely guy on Hinge, and had the most wonderful date. It ended with us saying we’d like to meet again. There were a few messages back and forth afterwards, and then he sent me this. My friends are divided on what he means. I think it’s the start of breadcrumbing.

“So I need to be completely open with you and I hope we can align our schedules but this will probably require a bit of patience so I apologise in advance. I typically have a very busy schedule, with kids, work can often very demanding time wise, varied friends and I tend to be an active individual. I’m sure you do to, which I think is great. Now I personally don’t see this as a bad thing but people have struggled with it in the past so I think it’s only fair to tell you. My good friends tease me about it. It’s just who I am, life is full of adventure. Now I’m happy to be patient, we’ll definitely find windows of opportunity.”

@WouldIwasShookspeared

I'm not that bothered about you but you might be good for a fuck now and again as long as you don't ask for my time in between

Hshahaha

Yes

That is what he meant 😅😅

And if that's not what you were after, then you're well rid!

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-viall-files/id1448210981

I love Nick Viall's dating advice, very American but some of this thread could have been his advice

I'd go with a minimum-effort thumbs up emoji and ignore any contact from him henceforth.

Just seen your update - well done for your reply. You're much more polite than I would have been

What an arrogant twat! Not harm in seeing where it goes but this message does make it sound like he's a bit full of himself. And slightly concerned that he thinks "life full of adventure" is kids and a job, massive eye roll

Nice update. I too like closure. You did the right thing. Dignified. Which is more than can be said for him.

This thread has been a scream.

What a fucking twat.

He's made himself sound like a right knob.

If you really enjoyed the date and he came across well then I think I would give him one chance. But only one.

I'd probably reply in a couple of days something like "yes, well, we're all busy!“

I think there's something in it that he heard how busy you were when he had nothing planned and felt inferior so had to invent a more interesting life that he now doesn't know how to come back from. Either way if it's that or he is indeed just a pompous git who wants to be able to juggle lots of women and have good excuses for not being available to the others then I'd have made the same decision either way. Better luck next time OP.

Well done. Better things coming your way! Don't give your precious time to those who don't appreciate it.

@liveforsummer

I think there's something in it that he heard how busy you were when he had nothing planned and felt inferior so had to invent a more interesting life that he now doesn't know how to come back from. Either way if it's that or he is indeed just a pompous git who wants to be able to juggle lots of women and have good excuses for not being available to the others then I'd have made the same decision either way. Better luck next time OP.

Agree ^

@isthismylifenow we went to a bar, and the conversation was flowing so easily. He then asked if I fancied going elsewhere for a meal. We did and it was lovely. When we said goodbye, he gave me a lovely hug and pecked me on my lips a couple of times. Honestly, it was a lovely date from start to finish - no vibe that he didn’t like me. But, given his wanky text, who the fuck knows…. The mid-40s market of men is a tough one to crack.

Well done you , @Milomonster♥️💐🪟🪟🪟🪟🪟

@Oblomov22 yes it really has. Now all I need is for the Daily Mail to pick up on it and he read about how his message has been dissected, and the overwhelming consensus was that the message was wanky.

Well done with your reply.
I'm sure you'll meet someone lovely.

I've quite enjoyed the input from the nest of vipers. Smart and funny. Would have loved to have this group when I was dating.

Step back, when he reaches out tell him your busy. Self obsessed he sounds. Move on.

@Bigpaintinglittlepainting

Great reply! This thread has been very entertaining, everyone is so witty.

I am looking to the future for you op where the stars align your schedule with a man and he floats down form the sky, he will be available once a week for a date and doesn't make a fuss over it all

I will meditate daily with this in mind until man floats into my life

Well done for your reply and your dignity. How weird that this message came after such a nice date! Blessing in disguise that he showed his real self early on.

[quote Milomonster]@isthismylifenow we went to a bar, and the conversation was flowing so easily. He then asked if I fancied going elsewhere for a meal. We did and it was lovely. When we said goodbye, he gave me a lovely hug and pecked me on my lips a couple of times. Honestly, it was a lovely date from start to finish - no vibe that he didn’t like me. But, given his wanky text, who the fuck knows…. The mid-40s market of men is a tough one to crack.[/quote]
Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be any better in the 50s age group.

I also thought my date went well, but in hindsight I think that because there was no offer to shag him on the first date, he lost interest....

Oh well, safe to say that I would rather it be that way than trying to figure out red flags at a later point.

I do hope you didn't reply to his final text though. A block may not be a bad idea, as that will show the amount that you care....

Onwards and upwards Milomonster.

Although I have given up on OLD dating now, as I am not in the right frame of mind for it at the moment.

Throw him back. You are on a dating site. Hundreds to choose from. Leave him to his busy and exciting life.....which none of us believe he actually has. I suspect he spends a lot of time on his sofa, in his pants, watching Bear Grylls shows and dreaming

And they say that women being the drama

He wouldn't meet my expectations (aren't you supposed to be trying to impress at the beginning?) So thanks for the heads up but we can leave it there.

@isthismylifenow no I won’t be replying. Already deleted his profile. OLD is brutal and it is important to step back. I’m finding men to be more tricky post-lockdown (still shit but in a different way). Post-divorce, it’s taken 4 years to get my life back on track. I see OLD when I engage in it a past-time and an opportunity to meet someone who I wouldn’t in daily life. I keep expectations low. If something comes of it, great, if not, there’s MN to turn to . Thank you for your advice

Good work @Milomonster 🏆

Fair enough OP. If he was really into you, and was just terrible with written English, I think he would have protested and insisted he did still want to see you.

I still think his message sounded a bit American “align our schedules”(????) but at least you’ve got closure on this and won’t waste any time on him, or run the risk of getting hurt.

He wants a booty call girlfriend