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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Oh god I fancy the man in Sainsburys..

130 replies

Shaplod · 05/03/2022 12:51

Help me, I'm so embarrassed.. I've been single a long time, I'm a single parent. I've noticed a new manager in my local sainsburys, I've seen him several times now and whilst I don't like to read too much into things he does smile at me and make eye contact every time I see him. I saw him in the sainsburys petrol station earlier and he held the door open for me, again I can't read into that as he could do that for everyone. I'm embarrassed now as I fancy him 🤣 and have no idea how to find out if he's single. He has no wedding ring on.. I know a few of the staff there as I shop there every weekend. Shall I just leave it and save myself the humiliation?

OP posts:
Jamoffmytoast · 05/03/2022 12:58

Why are you embarrassed? sounds good. Can you fit in a P/T job at Sainsbury's? Grin Otherwise just start a conversation about a hard to find product or something, and build up the chat gradually.

lateral · 05/03/2022 13:01

he does smile at me and make eye contact every time I see him. I saw him in the sainsburys petrol station earlier and he held the door open for me, again I can't read into that as he could do that for everyone

Yep. He probably does do that for everyone. It's his job. Basic customer service.

MsMiaWallace · 05/03/2022 13:02

If you know a few of the staff chat to them & do some digging about him!

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 05/03/2022 13:04

He probably does it for everyone so dont let yourself run away with a fantasy but you can still smile at him and be nice and chat. You never know what could happen but just keep in mind that his job is customer service and that's probably all he is doing.

And dont be embarrassed. There was a thread in here during lockdown that is way worse. The OP thought that someone in a work zoom meeting at been making a lot of eye contact with her, looking right at her and smiling and she thought he was flirting and she liked him etc. We had to explain that if he is looking right out of his screen at you then it means he was looking directly into the camera and everyone else was seeing the exact same thing. He was not making eye contact with her or smiling just at her.

Original poster
Shaplod · 05/03/2022 13:04

I'm embarrassed because I have to go in there and every time I see him I blush like a school girl. Thank god for masks 🤣

OP posts:
BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 05/03/2022 13:05

*had been making

Ladymuck111 · 05/03/2022 13:07

Why don't you say hello the next time you see him? It might start up a conversation.

MsMiaWallace · 05/03/2022 13:10

You deffo need to try take it further!

Original poster
Shaplod · 05/03/2022 13:13

I just don't want to humiliate myself. He could be taken then he'll know I like him and I still have to go in there to do my shopping.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaplod · 05/03/2022 13:14

I'll have to find the courage to ask one of the staff I know about him 🤣

OP posts:
lateral · 05/03/2022 13:16

@Shaplod

I'll have to find the courage to ask one of the staff I know about him 🤣

Please don't. Even if he is single he may not want a customer asking other staff about him, particularly as he is management. I'm sorry but I would find this invasive.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 05/03/2022 13:20

You cant go asking other staff about him.

He is most likely just doing his job. If you get chatting to him during your shopping then fine. If it ever went further then fine. But it isnt OK to go into his place of work and try and get his subordinates to gossip about him.

MsChatterbox · 05/03/2022 13:21

Life is short. Find out if he's single!!

DatingDinosaur · 05/03/2022 13:22

Awww, a happy thread!

You could always ask your friends in the shop how they find their new manager and casually mention you wouldn’t mind bumping into him down the special offers isle. Grin

Just enjoy the crush for now. Like you say, you don’t know if he’s married or anything. Can you ask him how he’s finding his new job? Does he live in the area? Stuff like that.

In the meantime, get that lippy on and Happy Shopping!

Adeleskirts · 05/03/2022 13:23

He’s not really making an effort to actually talk to you? He just smiles politely?

BabyTurtIe · 05/03/2022 13:30

You’re over thinking it, probably because you’ve been single for a long time, it’s just a crush and should be left at that. I fancied my sons teacher for a while but knew it was just a silly crush. No need to take it further and try to ask him out etc, you would just embarrass yourself, if he’s interested he will make it known. So far just sounds like he’s being friendly.

BabyTurtIe · 05/03/2022 13:31

He’s might not be married but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a partner

JellybabyGina87 · 05/03/2022 13:37

I don't think you can do anything other than smile at him and make casual conversation if he talks to you, as he's in work. People on these type of threads will tell you to ask him out but I don't think the right situation will arise for that without it making you look weird. You don't know anything about him. He could be married or have a partner or he may just be being friendly and it leaves you in an awkward position.

Original poster
Shaplod · 05/03/2022 13:39

I do wish people would read.. Again, I've put.. I cannot read too much into it as he probably does that for everyone. I'll repeat it again for those who missed it

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 05/03/2022 13:40

There’s a lovely manager in my local Lidl. He smiles, we chat. We’re both happily in relationships and he’s just being nice.

KindlyKanga · 05/03/2022 13:43

Don't start asking the other staff about him. If you were a bloke doing that about a woman you'd be considered well creepy. Have some boundaries! Just ask him where something is on the shelves or something and go from there.

WhatisanODP · 05/03/2022 13:43

Are you sure he’s not just being polite?

My husband is a Sainsburys manager. He smiles politely at everyone.

Neither of us wear wedding rings as I can’t wear a stoned one at work (NHS) and his gets in the way when he’s doing stuff at work. Doesn’t mean we aren’t happily married. 🤣

Find out on the sly about him by all means. But don’t make it obvious or awkward 🤣

KindlyKanga · 05/03/2022 13:44

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

You cant go asking other staff about him.

He is most likely just doing his job. If you get chatting to him during your shopping then fine. If it ever went further then fine. But it isnt OK to go into his place of work and try and get his subordinates to gossip about him.

I agree it is not OK
TakeSomeMoreTea · 05/03/2022 13:45

@Shaplod

I do wish people would read.. Again, I've put.. I cannot read too much into it as he probably does that for everyone. I'll repeat it again for those who missed it
I do think some of the replies are strange.

He's only the Manager of Sainsbury's, a normal bloke. There is nothing wrong with showing an interest.

The only thing is if he wasn't interested then you might feel awkward but it's up to you. Life is short.

stripeyflowers · 05/03/2022 13:46

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

He probably does it for everyone so dont let yourself run away with a fantasy but you can still smile at him and be nice and chat. You never know what could happen but just keep in mind that his job is customer service and that's probably all he is doing.

And dont be embarrassed. There was a thread in here during lockdown that is way worse. The OP thought that someone in a work zoom meeting at been making a lot of eye contact with her, looking right at her and smiling and she thought he was flirting and she liked him etc. We had to explain that if he is looking right out of his screen at you then it means he was looking directly into the camera and everyone else was seeing the exact same thing. He was not making eye contact with her or smiling just at her.

Grin Grin Grin Wine