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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Oh god I fancy the man in Sainsburys..

130 replies

Shaplod · 05/03/2022 12:51

Help me, I'm so embarrassed.. I've been single a long time, I'm a single parent. I've noticed a new manager in my local sainsburys, I've seen him several times now and whilst I don't like to read too much into things he does smile at me and make eye contact every time I see him. I saw him in the sainsburys petrol station earlier and he held the door open for me, again I can't read into that as he could do that for everyone. I'm embarrassed now as I fancy him 🤣 and have no idea how to find out if he's single. He has no wedding ring on.. I know a few of the staff there as I shop there every weekend. Shall I just leave it and save myself the humiliation?

OP posts:
lateral · 05/03/2022 13:48

I do think some of the replies are strange.

He's only the Manager of Sainsbury's, a normal bloke. There is nothing wrong with showing an interest.

Why is is strange to suggest someone doesn't go asking staff to give out personal information about their boss? He may 'only' be a manager in Sainsbury's's but that means he is acting in a professional capacity to both OP and members or his team.

KindlyKanga · 05/03/2022 13:51

@lateral

I do think some of the replies are strange.

He's only the Manager of Sainsbury's, a normal bloke. There is nothing wrong with showing an interest.
Why is is strange to suggest someone doesn't go asking staff to give out personal information about their boss? He may 'only' be a manager in Sainsbury's's but that means he is acting in a professional capacity to both OP and members or his team.

Exactly. He's not in a bar where he can choose to leave if OP creeps him out a bit.
Shaplod · 05/03/2022 13:52

God the hysteria of people. Creep him out lol, I haven't even spoken to the man.

OP posts:
BabyTurtIe · 05/03/2022 13:52

It is strange though as he has not done anything to make the op think he fancies her other than smile and be polite which is part of his job, you don’t have to ask everyone out you fancy sometimes you can just enjoy it for what it is and move on.

KindlyKanga · 05/03/2022 13:53

@Shaplod

God the hysteria of people. Creep him out lol, I haven't even spoken to the man.
Sorry I meant If you start asking questions about him from his colleagues etc and word gets back to him it might creep him out and he can't exactly leave
TropicalSunday · 05/03/2022 13:55

I fancy the security guard in my Sainsburys. He's married so off limits - but it doesn't stop him flirting with me.
He's not even my usual type but there's something about him ....

lateral · 05/03/2022 13:57

@Shaplod

God the hysteria of people. Creep him out lol, I haven't even spoken to the man.

People are suggesting you do, others are responding saying don't. That's where the creeped out comment came from

stuntbubbles · 05/03/2022 13:59

Can you go in and suggestively purchase an aubergine?

Shaplod · 05/03/2022 14:00

I don't plan on creeping anyone out. I shan't be asking his colleagues about him and I'm not over thinking anything.. I'm fully aware he works in customer service and could be this way with everyone. Highly unfair to suggest I would be creeping him out when I've said should I save myself the humiliation.

OP posts:
lateral · 05/03/2022 14:01

You are so rude OP. Other people were suggesting you did these things. Posters said no, don't. It wasn't a judgement on you personally, it was simply saying 'don't take that advice' - you are very defensive here.

Pinkbonbon · 05/03/2022 14:03

It's only embarrassing if you act embarrassed.

Think of it this way, if you fall on your ass and sit there all embarased, of course other ppl will cringe for you. But if you get up, dust yourself down and go 'what am I like?' and laugh...Its not 4eally embarrassing anymore.

Think of it of a stranger did both of those scenarios infront of you. You feel more embarrassed for the person that was embarrassed than the person that got back up and laughed it off right?

It's the samewoth most situations. If you're not embarrassed other ppl won't be either.

I'd strike up a convo with him and see what happens. If you do get shot down if you ask him out, you just jokingly go 'oh well can't blame a girl for trying!' and smile. Even if you're not feeling confident, just fake it.

TakeSomeMoreTea · 05/03/2022 14:04

I have not been single for a long time and I wasn't suggesting OP started demanding personal information off of his staff.

It was the people who were suggesting there would be no chance he liked her back.

OP isn't planning to flash her tits at him in the frozen meat isle.

Shaplod · 05/03/2022 14:04

How have I been rude, I've just disagreed with what you've said in a polite manner. None of the above comment is rude.

OP posts:
KindlyKanga · 05/03/2022 14:07

OP isn't planning to flash her tits at him in the frozen meat isle. well yeah no one was suggesting she was but there were suggestions of asking the staff about him. Which is bloody creepy.

BabyTurtIe · 05/03/2022 14:08

If this was a man wanting to ask a female out at work the comments would be very different!

Partyatnumber10 · 05/03/2022 14:09

Reading through this thread makes me wonder how anybody meets a partner naturally not OLD any more. Apparently anything op could potentially do is creepy and embarrassing.
Personally I think it's only embarrassing or creepy if you throw yourself at them or refuse to take no for an answer. Nothing at all wrong with starting a conversation with the man at a quiet time of day. You'll soon get a sense from there, if interested he'll stick around and prolong the conversation and if not he'll politely excuse himself...always worth a try 🤷‍♂️

KindlyKanga · 05/03/2022 14:11

@Partyatnumber10 not at their place of work where they are forced to stay there and can't escape if they feel uncomfortable. It's like when men hit on waitresses.

cherrysthename · 05/03/2022 14:12

Get talking to him like you would anyone else you're keen on? No need for hand wringing or cringing.

TakeSomeMoreTea · 05/03/2022 14:13

@Partyatnumber10

Reading through this thread makes me wonder how anybody meets a partner naturally not OLD any more. Apparently anything op could potentially do is creepy and embarrassing. Personally I think it's only embarrassing or creepy if you throw yourself at them or refuse to take no for an answer. Nothing at all wrong with starting a conversation with the man at a quiet time of day. You'll soon get a sense from there, if interested he'll stick around and prolong the conversation and if not he'll politely excuse himself...always worth a try 🤷‍♂️
That's what I thought.
BabyTurtIe · 05/03/2022 14:14

@Partyatnumber10

Reading through this thread makes me wonder how anybody meets a partner naturally not OLD any more. Apparently anything op could potentially do is creepy and embarrassing. Personally I think it's only embarrassing or creepy if you throw yourself at them or refuse to take no for an answer. Nothing at all wrong with starting a conversation with the man at a quiet time of day. You'll soon get a sense from there, if interested he'll stick around and prolong the conversation and if not he'll politely excuse himself...always worth a try 🤷‍♂️
There was a thread on here the other day where women said men shouldn’t just randomly approach women, how it’s harassment etc how women should be able to go about their lives without men asking them out, works both ways!
TakeSomeMoreTea · 05/03/2022 14:18

So no stranger can ever ask another stranger on a date?

BabyTurtIe · 05/03/2022 14:21

@TakeSomeMoreTea

So no stranger can ever ask another stranger on a date?
If a man does it he is seen as a creep, harassment etc, are you seriously telling me you haven’t seen women saying men shouldn’t approach strange women to chat them up? It’s said constantly on here, can’t have it both ways.
TakeSomeMoreTea · 05/03/2022 14:22

There are so many romance movies that should be banned if that is the case.

TakeSomeMoreTea · 05/03/2022 14:25

I've never said men are creeps, others may have.

lateral · 05/03/2022 14:27

@TakeSomeMoreTea

There are so many romance movies that should be banned if that is the case.

Movies are not reality though, are they?