Oh god I fancy the man in Sainsburys..

[Shaplod]

Help me, I'm so embarrassed.. I've been single a long time, I'm a single parent. I've noticed a new manager in my local sainsburys, I've seen him several times now and whilst I don't like to read too much into things he does smile at me and make eye contact every time I see him. I saw him in the sainsburys petrol station earlier and he held the door open for me, again I can't read into that as he could do that for everyone. I'm embarrassed now as I fancy him 🤣 and have no idea how to find out if he's single. He has no wedding ring on.. I know a few of the staff there as I shop there every weekend. Shall I just leave it and save myself the humiliation?

I’m not saying you have but nowadays it’s frowned upon to approach strangers and ask them out. Women often complain that this happens to them and they can’t just go about their lives without strange men approaching them to chat them up and how they don’t like the unwanted attention and think it’s wrong so why is it ok for women to do this? With OLD now I think approaching strangers to chat them up is seen as inappropriate. Especially as this man is in his place of work which makes it even more inappropriate.

I mean women go to the papers because strange men have tried to chat them up, I seen one posted on her not long ago because a man tried to chat her up when she was clothes shopping and she was saying why can’t she just go clothes shopping without being chatted up, it was posted on here and woman said the same how men approaching strangers are creeps it’s wrong etc, all I’m saying is you can’t have it both ways.

Movies are not reality though, are they?

This is your reply? Really?

Well I still think this thread is a lovely one. One that shows that attraction can crop up at any time and in the most mundane of circumstances. One that shows that being single for a long time doesn’t mean you’re emotionally dead. One that shows that a little crush can brighten up your day and put a spring in your step

@BabyTurtIe

I mean women go to the papers because strange men have tried to chat them up, I seen one posted on her not long ago because a man tried to chat her up when she was clothes shopping and she was saying why can’t she just go clothes shopping without being chatted up, it was posted on here and woman said the same how men approaching strangers are creeps it’s wrong etc, all I’m saying is you can’t have it both ways.

She needs to get a grip.

Ask him if he can show you where the prawns/tomato ketchup/dog food is. See if a conversation ensues.

People on here can be very weird if anyone suggests initiating any kind of innocuous contact.

Yes she went to the papers about it, even women going to the papers because the delivery guy tried to chat them up etc, it’s not appropriate these days clearly. It’s seen as harassment, this thread just shows the op she’s ready to date again so maybe time to try OLD or groups specifically for trying to
Meet people.

Some of these replies seem a bit OTT. Basically, she fancies him, why not enjoy that, maybe flirt a bit and find out if he's single. I'm sure the OP won't be harassing him or making him feel uncomfortable. Maybe he's single and fancies her back, sometimes that happens.

If he is single chances are he is most likely on some sort of online dating app. If I were you I would keep up with the smiling eye contact etc when you go in there and then see if you can find him on dating apps, keep search to local area, age range etc.

@TakeSomeMoreTea

Movies are not reality though, are they?

This is your reply? Really?

Not sure what you mean by that?

No movies are not reality and yes if they were to depict real life they would be very different. A lot of older movies haven't ages well and are rife with what is now acknowledged as sexual harassment/abusive behaviour.

@BabyTurtIe

I’m not saying you have but nowadays it’s frowned upon to approach strangers and ask them out. Women often complain that this happens to them and they can’t just go about their lives without strange men approaching them to chat them up and how they don’t like the unwanted attention and think it’s wrong so why is it ok for women to do this? With OLD now I think approaching strangers to chat them up is seen as inappropriate. Especially as this man is in his place of work which makes it even more inappropriate.

Striking up a conversation with someone you fancy is slightly different to walking straight up to someone and saying 'wow, you're so hot. please go out with me tonight'.

Seriously, if conversation is now off bounds how the feck are people supposed to communicate?

So I must tell my Son that he must never show any interest in someone unless it is on OLD or a group specifically for trying to meet people.

If he meets someone at college he must never dare let on that he is interested because he would be harassing them.

No!

No one is saying she can’t chat to him, but no need to ask him out/ ask colleagues about him, if she chats to him chances are he will be polite and friendly...and that’s it! She obviously wants to chat to him with the intentions of taking things further, hoping to find out if he is single. Leave the guy alone.

@TakeSomeMoreTea

So I must tell my Son that he must never show any interest in someone unless it is on OLD or a group specifically for trying to meet people.

If he meets someone at college he must never dare let on that he is interested because he would be harassing them.

No!

Meeting someone at college is a bit different to approaching a stranger!

She obviously wants to chat to him with the intentions of taking things further, hoping to find out if he is single.

What a harlot!

Stone the hussy!

Letting someone know you interested in them is not sexual harassment. Not taking no for an answer is sexual harassment.

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

She obviously wants to chat to him with the intentions of taking things further, hoping to find out if he is single.

What a harlot!

Stone the hussy!

Would you be ok with men approaching women at work to ask them out?

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

I do think some of the replies are strange.

It's not weird to say you shouldn't go into someone place of work and ask their colleagues questions about their personal life because you want to get in their pants.

Would you be ok with men approaching women at work to ask them out?

I wouldn't see a problem with a man doing similar in this context. Striking up a conversation, seeing if there's a rapport, asking her out and then fully respecting her answer.

Many people meet like this.

A man sliding up and being all 'hey baby, you're so sexy' is a different kettle of fish.

I wouldn't ask his colleagues about him though.

That’s funny countless threads on here saying men should absolutely never approach strange women to chat them up and women should be able to go out without men chatting them up... 😏

@BabyTurtIe

That’s funny countless threads on here saying men should absolutely never approach strange women to chat them up and women should be able to go out without men chatting them up... 😏

I haven't been on those threads. MN isn't a hive mind.

The idea that the only acceptable way to meet someone now is through OLD or singles groups is just bizarre.

Meeting someone at college is a bit different to approaching a stranger!

Eh? College acquaintance / work colleague / bloke across the road. What's the difference?

A straw poll of people I know (actual long term couples)

Met at work
Met at Uni
Met in a bar (proper old fashioned!)
Introduced through friends
Met as pen pals (1960's)
Met via asking out the person out at the garage who was servicing their car.
Met while dog walking
Met at a rugby match
Met while training for Police
Met via newspaper ad (pre OLD)
Met via local wine shop (yep that one was me. Me the customer and him the assistant manager)