Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

Honestly, I'm impressed you are on the slopes at all Polly. The very thought of skiing terrifies me. I hope that ski school goes well for you.

I've had that meltdown! I think it's very common towards the end of the day when your legs are tired and the snow is all churned up. Somehow the slope looks far too steep.
I hope you're enjoying ski school. It can be a real laugh. If, however, you're in a rotten group and don't enjoy it then please talk to the instructor about changing or getting a private lesson. Skiing can be a torture or a pleasure depending on the instructor and the group. I've found instructors to be incredibly helpful if they know you're struggling!

Ski stories? Ok, here's mine.

I'd never skied and a guy I was dating suggested we go to a local resort and 'he'd teach me' so I needn't bother with ski school. His idea of 'teaching me' was helping me into the skis and saying "This is how you turn" whilst leaning this way and that and "This is how you stop" whilst putting his skis in the snowplow position. He did NOT take me to the bunny hills. Just showed me the 'positions' and said "You practice, I'll be back" and took off for the lifts.

After numerous falls and standing around looking stupid for an hour I said "Fuck this" turned the skis in and went to the lodge for a coffee & Amaretto and to wait for Fuckwit. There I met a nice fellow who'd taken a bad fall that day and was 'recuperating' at the bar. We struck up a conversation and he ended up driving me home and we dated for a few months. I told Fuckwit to fuck off when he called me a few hours later wondering where I was.

I told Fuckwit to fuck off when he called me a few hours later wondering where I was.
🥇

I had umpteen meltdowns trying to ski, and soon came to the conclusion I hated the skiing but loved the après-ski 🥂. Enjoy and relax.

I still have a clear recollection of going out on the slopes in the afternoon on my lesson, after my first morning of lessons (my friend who had done a little skiing before, was having to sort out his lost passport) and managing eventually to get to the top of the drag lift. I turned round to make my way down and froze, because I was at the top of what felt to me like a precipice . I did eventually manage to get down mostly on my bum

This was on the baby slopes, not even the green slopes

By the end of the week, I wasn't even aware that there was a slope there, it was so flat - but I still remember that initial impression in my head

Good luck with the rest of the week. Things will really improve with proper lessons. A few years later, I tried to teach now dh for half a day, before making sure he got proper lessons neither of us would've survived otherwise

Hello

It’s easy to freeze on a ski slope - particularly if it’s busy or you haven’t been for a few years. It’s fine to stop for a coffee and a sit down between runs - there’s no law you have to push yourself over and over, you haven’t joined the army.

I managed to fall off a button lift and promptly got hit on the head by it….you deserve the wine!

I'll add that I NEVER tried downhill skiing again. But I enjoyed cross-country (Nordic) skiing for years before age and broken bones took their toll.

DP has a ski story.

He was invited to a classmate's 9th birthday party at a dry slope. FIL, being a bit of a knob oh, so very funny, said as he dropped him off in the car 'I'm going to Nana and Grandpa's house for a cuppa, I'll meet you at the hospital afterwards'.

About 3 minutes later, DP stood up in his skis for the first time, fell over and broke his wrist.

FIL was right - he did see him at the hospital.

So your first day on the slope could have been worse...

La Reine Claude for green plums sirop.

Also the most astonishing thick honey, like caramel. It's this:

monpanierlatin.co.uk/products/lapiculteur-miel-de-nos-terroirs-500g?variant=39325844078746&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=CjwKCAjwopWSBhB6EiwAjxmqDUDF8ewJoWAa879dcMkydFgTCyYrRbq1aawvt9i5S8yHt2dR7mWz-RoC5loQAvD_BwE

But you can get it in supermarkets there for a fraction of the price. Either green writing on the tub or brown. Brown my fave.

I had a terrible tantrum on a blue run once when exhausted and let rip at someone who skied into me before realising she was a small child. Felt so awful. But we've all done that thing of overdoing it at the beginning.

Hope things have picked up!

Yes! La Reine Claude!!! That’s the one!!! Delicious!!! Can’t get it in Australia, but makes fabulously refreshing, Japanese-style cocktails with a gin & tonic. (Only need a teensy bit, or it’s too sweet.)

I hope you've had a fabulous time skiing and are now navigating the blue slopes ziti ease and maybe the occasional easy red

...and that you've had lots of lovely mountain meals with Westley on sunny terraces and cosy nights hot chocolates with him

I've been cheering you on as a lurker.
Just wanted to say, those green plums are known as greengages in England. They are the absolute best. There is about a fortnight in August when they are on sale in our supermarkets, if you are lucky.

You wouldn't get me on a pair of skis - you are much braver than me!

I am now wondering if you can get greengages here in Aus… (bet a I’ve just missed them if we can.)

I know you could get them in New Zealand, so maybe you can get them in Aus?

You probably can, but earlier in the year. Having said that, NZ has a much colder climate than where I live, which is more like Florida

Greengage news… they’re considered a “heritage” fruit. You can get them, but in rather small quantities and only a couple of select growing areas - in January. Bummer. I had high hopes for Greengage gin. (Meanwhile, Japanese plums (Ume) are in season right now. 🤔)

We have a greengage tree which fruits around the same time as the plum tree.

@CornedBeef451- do us all a favour and infuse some gin when they’re in season. I think it would be a corker. (Go for under-ripe fruit and add sugar. Chef’s kiss!)

[quote Fraaahnces]@CornedBeef451- do us all a favour and infuse some gin when they’re in season. I think it would be a corker. (Go for under-ripe fruit and add sugar. Chef’s kiss!)[/quote]
I usually make some with mine - makes lovely jam too!

Unfortunately we don't get much fruit off it as it's only 3 years old so we just eat it. It is lovely though!

We only discovered greengages when we moved into our current house and an existing tree fruited (and we spent ages Googling what in earth these green plum things were) The second year we had a beautiful, sweet crop (total chance - nothing to do with our "care"!) and ended up using them straight from the tree for fruit puddings when we ate in the garden and for weaning our first baby.

God, I love them. If we ever move I'll plant another. But I had no idea they existed until a few years ago! Total side note!

OP, I've lurked on your threads for ages, cheering you on. You've come so far.

Bonsoir, mes amis! Loving the fruit discussion. I do miss my apple tree, used to make chutney every year. (As an aside, does anyone remember the poster whose husband ran off with the chutney? I think she was Lou something. I do hope she’s doing ok, I think of her often)

Anyway, I’ve never made greengage chutney.

I have returned from the Alps, all limbs and most of my dignity intact. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was scooting down blues, but I was a damn sight more elegant than I was at the start of the week! We had a lovely time, so relaxed and Westley looked after me so well. He’s flying straight off on a business trip tomorrow and then we’re into Easter hols…was hard to say goodbye this morning.

Still no declarations on either side, sorry to disappoint those who were hoping for a snowy romance. Which includes me. But I think I know why. And I will share, but not quite yet.

The Dollies are amazing and I have missed them and they have been super and they love their cuddly yetis (truly terrifying things that they are) which I bought shortly before dancing on the tables at La Folie Douce 😄 we’ve been to the pub for lunch and then for a walk, and now we’re curled up in front of the fire watching girly movies.

Geller has…well. Whoever said those boundaries need to be enforced is damn right. He’s a fuckwit.

Hoping to exchange this week or next.

Back to bath time and the girls! I miss Westley already. Silly. Was just so…easy. Not had a holiday like that in….well. Years.

Hope Geller’s fingers get caught when you slam those boundaries shut on him @StuckInPollyannaMode!
Very pleased you had a lovely time. You sound on top of the world, Darling. I’m also very intrigued about your new insights into the lovely Westley.