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Original poster

Prostate / Lingham massage

128 replies

Sonaftersonafterson · 03/03/2022 15:53

Just a quickie to detract from my current ridiculous heartbreak, see other thread from me today if you're bored and want something to read/ someone to laugh at.

Anyway, would be really interested to hear peoples views on prostate and lingham massage. I didnt know what lingham was until yesterday but its penis massage, to put it bluntly.

How would you feel if your partner went for such a massage? Not meant to be a sex thing. Trained masseuse, tantric massage, but it is naked and includes her massaging his prostate (yes up the bum) and performing gentle massage on his balls and penis too. Meant to release tension and promote healing through sexual expression.

I can't get past the sex aspect of it. The objective is not necessarily to orgasm although many do.

Is this cheating? Would it be acceptable to you if your partner was open about it, went to a legit place etc? Would you view it as another form of massage or just a bit.... ick. I'm the latter, but would be very interested in what other people think

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 03/03/2022 20:10

@Sonaftersonafterson

See this was my thinking!! And the guy in question was all like, no, it's not about that. Its teaching him to slow down and enjoy sensuality apparently.

I was like, but you cum right? Yes he did. This woman, shes online if anyone wants a link Grin performs these services as a healing therapy and I was made to feel like a prude for being shocked! .

To me, paying someone to massage your entire naked body, insert their fingers up your bum and massage your penis is just a form of sex service.

I guess I can kind of see his point of view. There's a lady who helps women to orgasm, I can't remember her name but I saw a video about it before and she kind of holds the women or one of the toys etc. It's not sexy, there wouldn't be any kind of sexual attraction between them, she's just there to help it to happen. As far as I remember it was in a group also.

I don't think a man would see that as cheating or like some kind of lesbian experience or sex with someone else.

So I think it's possible to have those kind of experiences without them being a 'sex thing'.

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 03/03/2022 20:11

I'm on the fence about this one.
Of course it is a sexual service, if he is referring to Tantra, I'm surprised he's not also using phrases like sacred sexuality or conscious sexuality etc.
I do believe that yoni and lingam massage can be therapeutic, but I am not aware of a single professional body that will insure a practitioner for doing this kind of work. I have worked as a holistic massage therapist and touching genitals is clearly completely unprofessional if you are a registered holistic therapist.
I do have a cluster of acquaintances who have offered this kind of service and they are absolutely and touchingly convinced that they do important work, often working with the lonely, bereft or elderly as well as couples. They do not offer any other kinds of sexual experiences, or engage in other sexual acts involving bodyparts other than their hands. None are conventionally 'vulnerable' but are financially stable, and working in the field of 'alternative therapies' despite having other professional or vocational options and experience.
I am, however, also intensely uncomfortable with the commodification of women's bodies and sexuality, and worry that these services likely blur boundaries and normalise the buying and selling of sexual services and the idea of 'the happy hooker'.

Pennox · 03/03/2022 20:12

Anything involving genital contact to orgasm is a sex thing and anyone doing that for money is a prostitute.

CheesePlantMurderer · 03/03/2022 20:16

@BurgerKingAddict

None of this sounds very covid friendly Shock
Hahaha this killed me 😂
Hen2018 · 03/03/2022 20:22

It takes an hour?

Are they having a cup of tea for 57 minutes first?

liveforsummer · 03/03/2022 20:22

None are conventionally 'vulnerable' but are financially stable,

They dont sound vulnerable but many of the clients seem to be ..

daisyjgrey · 03/03/2022 20:40

I just googled it (if I was a cat I'd be dead), and it threw up two businesses who offer 'tantric massage' the first one claimed it wasn't a "sexual service" but did say that for double the normal price the masseuse could be topless and for another fair whack they could be naked.

The second one was this... diamondtantricmassages.co.uk/

So I''m going to go out on a limb and say that old crystal bollocks is talking nonsense, and he can keep his oily penis to himself. Bleurgh.

NorthSouthcatlady · 03/03/2022 20:42

Posh / mystical / pretentious hand job (delete as you wish). Yep it’s cheating and it’s with a prostitute

marieantoinehairnet · 03/03/2022 20:43

So sticking a finger up his bum and giving him a tug is now therapy?

Palmfrond · 03/03/2022 20:46

I thought Lingham was a place in Norfolk? I must visit sometime!

Susu49 · 03/03/2022 20:52

@Palmfrond

I thought Lingham was a place in Norfolk? I must visit sometime!
There's a pun in there somewhere
YouOKhun · 03/03/2022 20:53

These people are sex people @Sonaftersonafterson!! It’s just a Wank with added Woo.

ThisIsMyGCname · 03/03/2022 21:00

@Palmfrond

I thought Lingham was a place in Norfolk? I must visit sometime!
Grin
Pisces89 · 03/03/2022 21:01

I wouldn't be ok with this at all OP. never heard of this before.

EarthSight · 03/03/2022 21:02

Are you joking?? This post sound written by someone who has been gaslit and brainwashed into almost accepting certain things, all in the name of New Age or religious activities.

Not meant to be a sex thing

Meant to release tension and promote healing through sexual expression

These two sentences are contradictory. Of course it's a sex thing. You've said it yourself it's 'sexual expression'.

Whether or not you accept it is up to you.

EarthSight · 03/03/2022 21:05

@Sonaftersonafterson

For clarity, she is not naked. She massages the men and she has a male masseuse that does the women, apparently.

When I read it on her website, it doesn't sound seedy at all. But from what he has told me, it is different. She is all floaty, spiritual, has adverts for her website all over insta, Twitter, even linkedin! So she doesnt view herself as a prostitute but I cant get my head around it.

Just read the rest of your posts. Glad you're sceptical about this.
rwalker · 03/03/2022 21:07

It can be a spirtual sense type of thing with no sexual connotations and TBF the woman more than likely see it like that .
You might get the odd one but I think the other 99.99999% of clients would think otherwise

Mamette · 03/03/2022 21:20

@Hen2018

It takes an hour?

Are they having a cup of tea for 57 minutes first?

😂

Actually, my ex BIL went through a phase of this, but in classes.

Ten middle aged Glastonwankers sitting around naked & stroking their bits,

I immediately pictured your BIL as Jeremy from Peep Show for some reason.

daretodenim · 03/03/2022 21:28

I used to know a couple who offered this - her to men and him to women. They both saw it as very, very sacred. They occasionally had a spiritual feeling (literally that) with the client but mostly they wanted to heal the world through bringing more love into it. I'm serious! And he used to offer workshops to men on how to focus sexually on the woman in their life in a way that wasn't driven by his need to orgasm and then job done. Idea was to be able to enable her to have multiple orgasms. He really disliked the sexual culture in which sex is PIV and male orgasm. They wanted a world where women were having multiple orgasms as standard and as such reaching spiritual highs and men could feel their full sexuality - meaning connecting with their woman as well as exploring their own sexual pleasure beyond "pumping" or "death grips". They didn't live in Hull and he's not called Brian! They were also not into polyamory or open relationships - something I assumed came with the territory.

So I know these people really exist.

However, if you look at "tantric massage" or "lingam massage" online there's a LOT that has nothing to do with that sort of thing. My friends saw this as a calling, not a job (they both had other jobs - in their tantra practice they used other names).

But whether it's something you're happy with your partner having is entirely personal and there's no wrong or right. For example, if it was with people like the people I knew, I wouldn't have too big a problem with my partner doing it if he really wanted, although not regularly. I couldn't/can't, however, tolerate any porn. We all have different boundaries and the best thing we can do is just accept what ours are.

Original poster
Sonaftersonafterson · 03/03/2022 21:46

Lots of insight here - thank you.

He said apart from on the first occasion, before he learnt control, he did ejaculate. After that in subsequent sessions, he managed not to but in his words "left feeling pretty frustrated". I cant see how feeling frustrated is therapy. He also said he bought himself a prostate massager after visiting her, experiencing it and liking it.

This woman truly believes that by massaging penises and prostate glands, she is sending men on a spiritual journey.

OP posts:
RagzRebooted · 03/03/2022 21:51

@Shrekprincess

If it’s not a sex thing do straight men go to male practitioners?
Excellent point!
petpeeves · 03/03/2022 21:58

Was it performed by a man?

Notsuchaniceguy · 03/03/2022 22:02

@Sonaftersonafterson

Lots of insight here - thank you.

He said apart from on the first occasion, before he learnt control, he did ejaculate. After that in subsequent sessions, he managed not to but in his words "left feeling pretty frustrated". I cant see how feeling frustrated is therapy. He also said he bought himself a prostate massager after visiting her, experiencing it and liking it.

This woman truly believes that by massaging penises and prostate glands, she is sending men on a spiritual journey.

So after his spiritual journeys he is £100 lighter and frustrated? She is £100 better off and doesn't even have to waste an andrex on clean up?

I'd do it for £50 an hour and that's topless. Which gets you a pair of manboobs and some love handles. As a man I also have decent finger length and am willing to talk dirty about the Arsenal for an extra tenner.

BookFiend4Life · 03/03/2022 22:03

This is cracking me up. Wtf! How is it not sex work!

spotcheck · 03/03/2022 22:11

@WizardOfAus

Is it available on the NHS?

Thanks for the biggest laugh I've had all day!

Ooo This could save the NHS....kind of like the Eat Out to Help Out campaign.

Literally!!