Dating message - am I just being uptight?

[Shipsailor3]

It’s early days messaging a bloke on OLD and I got this one this evening. My heart sank a bit as I have a real aversion to blokes who I don’t know from Adam pushing their agenda, especially if it relates to sex.

E.g I pretty much always swipe left if they do the ‘I’m tactile’ line - in my experience it usually means they’re just out of a miserable marriage and are looking to shag anything that moves.

BUT perhaps I’m just being harsh and uptight 🤔
I’ve done a lot of OLD, without much success at all apart from one 18mth relationship (we’re still mates) and I can’t tell if I’m being too dismissive/choosy etc.

So, any thoughts on this one?

‘My kids went back last night, picking up the pieces today and getting organised. Now for my week…!

As for your two versions of hedonism, I am probably somewhere in between.

I will be the last man standing at a party until 6am. I will equally do nice stuff. Whether that means a city break or exploring a weekend of Tantra…

Like I said, probably too wild for Tinder 😉 ‘

Thoughts? Is he just shoehorning his sexual expectations in early?

He’s already mentioned being too wild a couple of times and I’m a bit 🙄. The guy is 53 ffs.

I’m tempted to go back with ‘oh wow, you’re into yoga.. so am I’ and see where that goes but that’s probably just my sense of humour.

I just feel a bit turned off I think.

Tantra bollocks would go straight in the bin.

Next!

Next! Too wild???? Bollocks.

Takes himself too seriously.

Ew.

If that's his idea of wild I'd start yawning now.

A weekend of tantra though - depends how good he is?!!

I'd have the ick by now..

Bin, he’s prob a middle aged drunk and he’s making it clear this is for a shag only. If you just want a shag fair enough, but if not, then block and delete.

Yeah, I couldn’t be bothered with that.

See ya.. That's what I'd be saying.

Oh and he’s messaging every other woman who swipes right and seeing if they are up for sex. First to act desperate and keep interacting gets it 😂

Too wild for Tinder.......what the he'll does that mean?
I 'd reply wirh, well why aren't you on (insert name of extreme sex site)

Nope, next.

Yuck

Oh dear.

Bit desperate.

Ah, thanks people. Glad others think yuk, cos I did. Such a wanky thing to put!

@TatianaBis

Tantra bollocks would go straight in the bin.

Next!

This, lol.

I guess he doesn't realise Tantra isn't actually about sex.

He's maybe trying to sound varied and interesting but overdoing it a bit and coming across as bit full of his own self-importance. Maybe just ignore any suspected sexual references and keep the convo neutral. If he keeps coming back to innuendo or veiled smut then, yep, he's just after a bit.

Tbh, you've got the ick about his comment which should tell you everything you need to know.

Mind you, if he can drink for 12 hours straight and then do the old Tantra (I can’t help but think of Sting here) for hours on end then the guy must have some stamina.

So what you going to do op? 😂 hopefully the action with sone self respect. Blokes looking for sex so he doesn’t need to pay for it.

I am not sure that using Tinder is a good idea if you are looking for a long term partner/a proper relationship.

It seems to me to be more of a hook-up app.

Anyway, this guy sounds rather silly. Not worth wasting your time on.

Well I’ve gone back to him with this message, not sure if it hits the spot or not ( well, he certainly hasn’t 😆) ..

‘Oh gawd, my heart always sinks when a guy I don’t know from Adam attempts to shoehorn some sex reference in early doors. It’s kind of a turn off. If I’m unfairly maligning though, then say so, you might be referring to a weekend of wild yoga….’

Oh god. Anyone who states, especially more than once, that they are too "wild" are probably the least wild creatures on earth.

It's like the ones going "oh look, what am I like!? I'm so crazy, out of control!"... and its like, nope. No you're not.

Cringe. Would give me the major ick.

Tbh I’ve given up on most of the sites. I don’t think any are any ‘better’ in terms of finding more serious minded men. Bumble, maybe…

They are all pretty similar /awful. The main variations seem depend more on where you’re based rather than location…

Awesome response OP! How tedious he sounds. If someone is upfront that they want sex or 'fun' then fine. I will just not swipe them. But all this putting out feelers and hints is so icky and prurient. He sounds like he thinks he's one of Alan Partridge's Sex People.

Thanks Peach. I agree, the chat is tedious.

AP’s sex people 😂😂

No response yet…

From reading his message and the "too wild" bit, I think he was being in tongue in cheek & obviously pointing out that he isn't 'wild' at all! I think you've misinterpreted his meaning!

With you 100% total turn off! Next!

I also hate the bios “I’m an open minded kinda guy” yeah you’re just looking for a shag, move along!

Tantra? Yeah, he's gagging for it and will be a sex pest OP. Take it from another 53 year old.
Tell him to Fuck off.