What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

@greasyshoes

You're not sure about what? That its wealthy and successful men who control the media? That wealthy and successful men didn't sell the images of Samantha Fox and more recently KK? Or that those wealthy and successful men have somehow become wealthy and successful without a grasp on what sells and how to influence sales?

None of the above. I took issue with the implication that it's men being influenced, as below.

"and have a wider grasp of what men like, and how to influence them"

I've only ever seen women binging on Kardashian trash, not men.

I don't thinking it was women 'binging' on pictures of her naked arse. And women were certainly not the target market behind the exploitation of the 16 year old Samantha Fox.

My DH gave me ONE word that he found super sexy in the opposite sex and apparently I possessed in spades ...

Confidence.

Own your space and apologise to no one . (Unless you hurt them of course !)

@greasyshoes

The examples you give of Sam Fox and Kim Kardashian are not desirable to many men.

Indeed, but what you have to remember is that many women never bother actually talking to men, and they just assume the ideal woman for a man is the models they see everyday on their TVs or in their gossip magazines.

Oh you mean like the men who don’t talk to women Men who assume all women read erotic fiction and discuss it ‘Their gossip magazines ‘ oh so we all read gossip magazines now . Do you know how many men read the ‘articles ‘ in lads mags ? Do you know how many Or can’t even bring themselves to say women are equal to men watch drivel on ‘their’ tv You have singlehandly written the most sexist stuff I’ve even seen from one poster here You think you know women and clearly have no idea

@greasyshoes

They're put out there by wealthy successful men who want to increase their wealth and success. I would imagine they know what they're doing, and have a wider grasp of what men like, and how to influence them, than one based on the rather limited pool of you and your mates.

Not sure about that. Seems like women are far more obsessed with female celebrities than men are. I know absolutely nothing about the Kardashians, and I refuse to learn anything about them.

@greasyshoes Who’s more obsessed with naked Instagram ‘models ‘ only fans girls ‘ Victoria’s secrets parades and porn Men men men

I don't thinking it was women 'binging' on pictures of her naked arse.

It probably was. Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan aren't full of pictures of handsome men, they're full of pictures of beautiful women. It seems that a lot of women, for whatever reason, seem to spend a lot of time looking at female models and celebrities. Who else is buying all of those weird "celebrity gossip" magazines in the shops?

Samantha Fox, don't know anything about her, can't remember what she looks like, so can't comment.

But I'm not sure why you think men are influenced by images of beautiful women in the media. If a man sees a woman in the media and finds her attractive, then he would have found her attractive anyway. You can't tell a man to like a specific type of woman.

I think 'environment' makes a difference. In the 18 years I have been married I can think of two men that have actively had a crush on me. Mainly I am at work or home.

But last week I went out to a bar in Henley (and not actively looking by the way) and I was a man magnet. Not interested, but it felt quite nice for an hour or so.

So maybe if you are in a place where people are 'looking' it makes a difference.

@5128gap
‘ You're not sure about what? That its wealthy and successful men who control the media? That wealthy and successful men didn't sell the images of Samantha Fox and more recently KK? Or that those wealthy and successful men have somehow become wealthy and successful without a grasp on what sells and how to influence sales?’

Greasy isn’t even sure women are equal to men
According to him we are all reading erotic fiction and gossip magazines
He lives in an alternate reality
He clearly where all woman are reading this and influenced by it but men who consumes billions yes billions of dollars of porn including Instagram only fans etc are definitely NOT influenced
Interesting how he says it’s all about the sexual act and infinites all the half naked ‘models ‘ men follow
Interesting that the studies show around 50 percent of women read that type of stuff yet over 90 percent of men consume porn
Yet only women are influence
Oh and we are all ‘ gossipping

I’ve rebutted every single one of these nonsense mysogynistic claims and all that happens is I get no response when he’s called out
Radio silence when asked if women are equal to men as well

Post edited by MNHQ

@greasyshoes

I don't thinking it was women 'binging' on pictures of her naked arse.

It probably was. Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan aren't full of pictures of handsome men, they're full of pictures of beautiful women. It seems that a lot of women, for whatever reason, seem to spend a lot of time looking at female models and celebrities. Who else is buying all of those weird "celebrity gossip" magazines in the shops?

Samantha Fox, don't know anything about her, can't remember what she looks like, so can't comment.

But I'm not sure why you think men are influenced by images of beautiful women in the media. If a man sees a woman in the media and finds her attractive, then he would have found her attractive anyway. You can't tell a man to like a specific type of woman.

Who do you think consumes most of the models on Instagram and onlyfans Do you need me to go find stats on that too It’s MEN

@greasyshoes

So in your world women are influenced by media but men are not?

@greasyshoes

I don't thinking it was women 'binging' on pictures of her naked arse.

It probably was. Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan aren't full of pictures of handsome men, they're full of pictures of beautiful women. It seems that a lot of women, for whatever reason, seem to spend a lot of time looking at female models and celebrities. Who else is buying all of those weird "celebrity gossip" magazines in the shops?

Samantha Fox, don't know anything about her, can't remember what she looks like, so can't comment.

But I'm not sure why you think men are influenced by images of beautiful women in the media. If a man sees a woman in the media and finds her attractive, then he would have found her attractive anyway. You can't tell a man to like a specific type of woman.

You don't know anything about Samantha Fox? She was a page 3 girl who was featured topless in the tabloids from the age of 16. If I remember correctly, at times, wearing a gym skirt and school tie between her breasts. One of her contemporaries was featured in the tabloids every day in the week leading up to her 16th birthday, in school uniform, and progressively less clothed, with accompanying copy telling readers how she couldn't wait to turn 16 so she could show them everything. On her 16th birthday she was shown topless. Men bought these papers in their droves. So, if you are correct, and men find a woman attractive regardless of whether they see her in the media or not, and they clearly found these very young women attractive, should we conclude that hundreds of thousands of men were lusting after topless 15 and 16 year olds due to their inate preference? And if so, should we conclude that as male preference is not in your opinion subject to influence or trends, then droves will be lusting after them still? You might find my theory uncomfortable, but if we follow the trajectory of your's, it terrifies me.

Do you know how many men read the ‘articles ‘ in lads mags ?

Are there even any left? Must be getting on for a decade since "Nuts" and "Zoo" stopped being printed.

@DdraigGoch

Do you know how many men read the ‘articles ‘ in lads mags ?

Are there even any left? Must be getting on for a decade since "Nuts" and "Zoo" stopped being printed.

Yes they are largely dissappeared now I agree ad more and more men are unsung internet platforms However greasyshoes idea that women are all reading erotic fiction and are influenced by that whilst men are using porn and not influenced ? Which according to him is for the sexual acts only ) ignores all the naked models men consume and is absolutely ridiculous

I should add that a very significant number of mr. Consume erotic fiction too !

*significant number of men

You don't know anything about Samantha Fox?

To be fair, Samantha Fox must be nearly 60 now and was famous in the early 1980s.

@hotpinkkettle

You don't know anything about Samantha Fox?

To be fair, Samantha Fox must be nearly 60 now and was famous in the early 1980s.

Of course. Which was exactly the point I was making. She would not have the same appeal now (even if she were still 16) as men's tastes over the decades have changed in accordance with trends. Im not surprised the poster may know nothing about her, more that he would feel qualified to refute arguments i made using her and Kim Kardashian as examples, while purporting to know nothing of either.

Is it a trophy wife or is it in fact whom a person socializes with or the environment they're in?
Donald Trump is highly unlikely to meet a woman who goes to Bingo is he. Or someone who works in a chippy.
Most people date within their immediate vicinity or their social circle.
If you socialize with models it's quite likely that's who you'll end up with. If you're sat in your local every day, you'll meet someone local.
If you travel you'll meet different people, it's exposure, experience, that'll be the barometer for a person's actual choices.

Amanda Holden and Julia Roberts are two very beautiful women, I can imagine they would be attractive to lots of different men.

@HoneyRose87

Amanda Holden and Julia Roberts are two very beautiful women, I can imagine they would be attractive to lots of different men.

Two great examples, they just seem to be ageless. Very beautiful women.

People who look for trophy wives typically have large social circles as that's the point surely? No man who's of that mindset has just three friends but wants to parade around with an attractive woman to impress people. Impress who?. Trump will have huge circles, as will most looking for arm candy.

What people are exposed to does not detract from whether someone is of the mindset where they're looking for affirmation from their peers. The choice may be different but wanting to impress your mates remains the same. And we now have the benefit of online dating, which opens things up for everyone. Environmental factors no longer exist really. For instance, I'm an engineer and typically work in environments where there are literally no women in the office. The last multinational corporation I worked for had less than 10 women in an open plan office of over 100 staff. I really felt for some of the younger lads as they'd talk about how hard it was to find someone. They'd go out with their mates at the weekend but because they weren't the type that'd be out on the pull (so to speak) they'd never really find anyone. In a good way they wouldn't want to bother other women on a night out. Online dating and speed dating etc. was great for them as they'd be able to meet way more women than would've been possible in my youth.

@Hrpuffnstuff1 Absolutely. I saw a picture of Amanda recently and for 51 she looks absolutely amazing.

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Is it a trophy wife or is it in fact whom a person socializes with or the environment they're in? Donald Trump is highly unlikely to meet a woman who goes to Bingo is he. Or someone who works in a chippy. Most people date within their immediate vicinity or their social circle. If you socialize with models it's quite likely that's who you'll end up with. If you're sat in your local every day, you'll meet someone local. If you travel you'll meet different people, it's exposure, experience, that'll be the barometer for a person's actual choices.

No, you have that backwards. Rich powerful men deliberately create social situations where they can access the women they already have a preference for. Social circles consisting of old men and beautiful women decades younger do not occur by chance.

[I am a man.]

I recall, long ago, as a teenager, one of my group of friends always seemed to have a pretty girl at his side, while for me and many others of the group such a state of affairs was intermittent at best. I asked him what his secret was.

His answer? -- 'When I get to a dance or youth club meeting,' he said [yes, that long ago], 'I check out the birds and weigh them up. Then I go and chat to the third best-looking one. All the other lads go straight to the best looker, then move on down the list when they don't succeed. By then I'm well away and have got off with number three. So I keep my average up.'

Cold? Cynical? Yes, indeed. But, young boys are like that about girls and sex, and, well, it worked for him.

As for me (are you interested? -- seems what the thread is about ...), I am initially attracted by women with nice tits, a plump arse, bright eyes and clear skin. But I want a partner who is intelligent and interesting. Chat is important. I did not realise it as a teenager, but what I really wanted, as it turned out, was someone I got on with as a close and interesting-chatty friend. And, yes, when it happened to me and I got off (in my twenties) with someone I found I wanted to keep talking with/listening to more than anything, I fell in love. Luckily, she fell for me too.

We are still together over sixty years later. Her breasts are a little more saggy (children, huh? age? hmm), her skin rather more wrinkled, but her arse is still plump and her eyes still sparkle, albeit rheumily at times. And we still have plenty to say to each other, perhaps surprisingly after all this time.

Oh, and I caught myself the other day checking out a woman walking by as I waited at a bus stop. As you do. (Without letting on these days I learned long ago women do not enjoy being leered at by dirty old men. (Not really a surprise, that? I keep coming across men who seem not to have noticed.) Strictly a tacit, I trust unnoticed, inspection, always. I know some women do the same.)

'She's sexy,' I thought to myself. 'Nice arse.' Then I noticed she was at least as old as me ... and congratulated myself on the fact that while I still can appreciate youthful beauty in a woman my taste, what initially attracts me in a woman, has matured with me. Lucky, that, I suppose; anyway I pity the poor buggers who keep trading their partner in for a younger model. They do not know what they are missing, it seems to me.

@Gardeningcreature

I agree they like long blonde hair and a traditionally feminine figure. Whenever I’ve watched Take Me Out ( I know) 9 times out of 10 the men will pick someone with long blonde hair. Sometimes they pick someone with long brown hair but they are always very glamorous and thin.

I've watched this show plenty of times and 9 times out of 10 the men have picked Brunettes?? (usually with long hair).

Blonde or brunette doesn’t matter to me. Not that keen on red hair.