What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

Depends on the man and men vary.

Ooooh this is one of those conversations where we have to uncomfortably acknowledge the bias goes both ways…

@hotpinkkettle

The thing is, apart from overall size, you don’t know what you are getting until the relationship progresses to the clothes off stage.

Even size can be artificially enhanced with chicken fillets or whatever.

I think you can get the idea, although I couldn't quite tell when I met dw 3 yrs ago. She was quite layered up clothing-wise, she told me she'd done that on purpose. Her dating pictures gave me an idea. Anyhow after the kiss during the date, we'd both made our minds up. If there's no connection whilst kissing it's over for me.

Her dating pictures gave me an idea.

Not everybody uses dating pictures. I never have.

Yep it’s far worse for women because, there isn’t any pc way to say this, you cannot tell the size of a man’s cock.

But women don’t mind how big a man is. Or so we are regularly told.

Do you mean this isn’t true?

"There are of course innate preferences, and these may differ from those fed to men, but most don't deviate too far from the mainstream as they want their choices affirmed by other men. Of course men will strongly deny this as its uncomfortable to think they are not captain of their own ship."

Totally disagree with this. I personally and the men I know do not make their choices based on the affirmation of others.

Totally disagree with this. I personally and the men I know do not make their choices based on the affirmation of others.

Agree.

@hotpinkkettle

Yep it’s far worse for women because, there isn’t any pc way to say this, you cannot tell the size of a man’s cock.

But women don’t mind how big a man is. Or so we are regularly told.

Do you mean this isn’t true?

I wouldn’t say they don’t mind, if they had a choice. I mean having sex with a 3 inch penis compared to a 5-6 inch one, makes a difference, there’s no denying that. Women are just polite about it.

Maybe you don't and I don't care much either, but a hell of a lot of men are most definitely judged and look for affirmation in their taste in women from their peers.

Women are just polite about it.

I guess you have missed the numerous 'micropenis' threads on here where folk have a good giggle about their bad sex experiences!

@Lunar27

Maybe you don't and I don't care much either, but a hell of a lot of men are most definitely judged and look for affirmation in their taste in women from their peers.

where do you get that from?

@Gardeningcreature

Yep it’s far worse for women because, there isn’t any pc way to say this, you cannot tell the size of a man’s cock. There said it. Or if it’s a good girth, if he keeps himself tidy down there etc etc. I was once seeing a beautiful man, absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. Such a disappointment when we got closer and I saw his ‘hidden bits’ totally crap in bed too and not very loyal either. Beautiful though.

THIS!!

I genuinely used a to worry when I liked someone as I'd think "I hope they don't have a small penis." Sound shallow but it's true would just put me off and it would be a same.

Was extra nervous when I met my DP because I REALLY liked him.

Thankfully it's beautiful.

Would be a shame*

@Jonny1265

Have you never heard of the term, or know the meaning of 'arm candy'?

Are you saying that you've never read a magazine article like, 'what your type says about you', or heard pub banter/discussion between mates etc etc. I'm not suggesting that all men are sensitive to it but I wouldn't deny the fact either.

Younger men definitely are swayed but society and their friends, as in 18 and a bit older. You'd hope they grow out of it as they mature

The penis size cannot be changed, height one can wear lift shoes.🤣
Male bodies can obviously be made athletic or whatever. A man can even educate, although I think some social classes of men frown upon it.
Even a correctly fitting suit can make a man look handsome.

However the penis, well you get what your born with.🤣
An old friend was rumoured to have a small penis, we ribbed him when we were younger. I wouldn't do it now, it's not very kind is it. Especially after his wife left him for his best man.😬😮

I'm not so sure men are that sensitive about their appearance. We do compliment each other.
I know I go out and still think I look great.🤣

I'm not so sure men are that sensitive about their appearance.

If that were the case there would not be a surge in steroid abuse amongst younger men, increased demand for hair loss treatments, liposuction, teeth whitening etc. Half the lads I see down my gym do not seem to be training for any specific sport but just to achieve that 'Love Island' look.

@DillonPanthersTexas

Women are just polite about it.

I guess you have missed the numerous 'micropenis' threads on here where folk have a good giggle about their bad sex experiences!

I would never shame a man about his penis, I also wouldn’t want to be responsible for any insecurities this may bring him. I’m sure there are many women married to men with micro penises/small penises, as they’re able to see beyond the size of their cock but if they had a choice, then maybe they’d prefer them to be bigger. There’s a difference between accepting someone for who they are and preferences.

There’s a difference between accepting someone for who they are and preferences.

This thread seems to has gone off on some random tangents, but I the sentence above sums it up the best for me, and I’m invisible as well

@DillonPanthersTexas

I'm not so sure men are that sensitive about their appearance.

If that were the case there would not be a surge in steroid abuse amongst younger men, increased demand for hair loss treatments, liposuction, teeth whitening etc. Half the lads I see down my gym do not seem to be training for any specific sport but just to achieve that 'Love Island' look.

Men have been doing that for decades. I worked in a gym like that back in the 90s for an infamous bodybuilder.

What I meant was the ribbing that men give each other. Or even a woman, if a woman calls a man a baldie, most just ignore it or insult back.

I do know that a few men have been upset after being told they were poor in the bedroom.

@Hrpuffnstuff1 it's moved on a whole lot though due to social media. Something like 30% of gym goers are on some form of PEDs (women use them too although at a far lower rate). What with Love Island, Instagram and online dating younger men are very sensitive in how they look.

We only have the ‘pool’ of attractees where we frequent and those we might ‘encounter’ online. So the theoretical is tempered by that. Tonight I am going out to a music event at a pub with a friend and we will be hot on by men, despite not fitting the ideal profile.

hit on not hot on!

This thread has made me realize that it can never be all about physical appearance. I have other criteria which together with the physical attraction ones, instantaneously makes 99.9% of men invisible to me in terms of prospective dating. It is extremely liberating. They are informed by my spiritual beliefs (spiritual, not religious at all) and my zero tolerance to behaviors which most women think are okay to some degree or can be explained away to a point. It also means that I do not even expend the energy to turn anyone down. I simply deny the existence of their interest all together.

I said on the reverse thread that the only screen person who has ever turned my head is Mau from Couples Therapy because he is authentic enough to lay it all out there without editing his own behavior. I see stark beauty in the stark ugliness of it. Very few men are authentic enough to do that.

@Hrpuffnstuff1.
On three occasions I asked you whether you believe men and women, although different are equals . Should women have the same rights in the workplace , home and relationships ?

I asked because many of your posts have been extremely sexist and have generalised about women and about women different countries . You have admitted to being married ( she’s Baltic I brlirve you mentioned Seven or eight times) but having a ‘ woman who got away ‘ yoh seem to have a lot of stereotypes especially about English women
Yet you simply won’t answer? Strange