What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

The above is a response to Greasyshoes. Sorry forgot to quote.

@5128gap

There is a difference between sexual attraction and sexual acquisition, and for many men a woman is exactly like their car and clothes, a reflection of them and their status. Have you never heard of a trophy wife? Its a well recognised phenomena. Men may have their individual preferences but in the world outside of you and your friends, I can assure you that trends influence what men desire to acquire. In the 80s Steve and 'the boys' lusted after Samantha Fox who would not be seen as anywhere near as desirable to Jake and the lads in their 20s, who watched Kim kardashian's arse 'break the internet'. Perhaps you have reached an age where you have more confidence to follow your individual preferences, outside of the mainstream, or perhaps you haven't realised that they haven't developed in a vacuum; but I can assure there is much evidence that tastes in all areas are manipulated. The whole advertising industry is based on this.

A beautiful woman is ageless, modern history shows us this Marilyn Monroe is still attractive. Bo Derek for example is another face that is universally accepted as being pretty across all generations. She just has those atypical features. I don't believe for one minute there has been much stark change in the human physique. Beauty's- feminine beauty has been worshipped and lauded for eons.

Feminine beauty has not been 'worshipped'. That implies a subservience in the presence of it. Any semblance of worship is merely the steps a man thinks he needs to take in order to acquire a woman who has it. Have you never looked at art from previous centuries and noted the female form that was then depicted as the 'epitome of beauty'? Can you not see how that has changed?

[quote StopBodyShaming]**@HootOwl :
Most supermodels are tall and willowy and have very small breasts and they are stunning!

No according to TriptotheBog:
"This is even less likely if they’re an actual fashion model as they are famously underweight and a bit sexless."

Obviously body-shaming slim people is still accepted as nobody minds. "Real women" have curves. The skinny ones are not even real women and they are "sexless".[/quote]
Interesting. You’re responding too @HootOwl with a quote from me that you are attributing to @TriptotheBog. Quite Kafkaesque. I’m wondering if you are the same person behind the account @HappyClappy1 ?

@5128gap

Feminine beauty has not been 'worshipped'. That implies a subservience in the presence of it. Any semblance of worship is merely the steps a man thinks he needs to take in order to acquire a woman who has it. Have you never looked at art from previous centuries and noted the female form that was then depicted as the 'epitome of beauty'? Can you not see how that has changed?

It’s interesting to see antique smutty postcards/porn from the 1890s/1900s. The women depicted are just regular women. I guess there wasn’t enough pictoral media at the time to give impetus to an “ideal” that diverged sufficiently from what you might expect from an irl sexual encounter.

[quote StopBodyShaming]@HootOwl :
Most supermodels are tall and willowy and have very small breasts and they are stunning!

No according to TriptotheBog:
"This is even less likely if they’re an actual fashion model as they are famously underweight and a bit sexless."

Obviously body-shaming slim people is still accepted as nobody minds. "Real women" have curves. The skinny ones are not even real women and they are "sexless".[/quote]
Eh? I said it's body shaming WTF

@StopBodyShaming

PLEASE read properly, I quoted someone else

Unless you're being sarcastic. Pretty unlikely I'd be calling myself sexless and unappealing

And @Palmfrond

I always wonder what people who insult others look like. People upset that other body types are found attractive usually have some insecurity going on. Curvy women are all the rage now, but you don't see me hating because I know I'm still good🥰

In my experience the most popular boobs are medium size, great shape & perky. Round and high & look good in low cut tops.

I used to have them 😢

-coughcough- Venus of Willendorf!

@HappyClappy1 I'm a 34K and invisible
Tall, red hair, size 16 so it's not something I find men go for

@5128gap

Feminine beauty has not been 'worshipped'. That implies a subservience in the presence of it. Any semblance of worship is merely the steps a man thinks he needs to take in order to acquire a woman who has it. Have you never looked at art from previous centuries and noted the female form that was then depicted as the 'epitome of beauty'? Can you not see how that has changed?

It hasn't changed, from the Grecian Aphrodite, The Renaissance, to Victorian times. There are trends however the body and facial features remain similar. Namely flat stomachs and being “fit”, pretty faces have always been in style.

Look at men's statues from the era's gone by, the rounded shoulders, muscular arms, and barrel chest have never changed it too is still the epitome of the masculine form.
If a man has that muscular athletic appearance he'll receive attention more so than Mr dad bod.
However, most men fail in that ideal shape these days, for various reasons. It's embarrassing. But that's another point entirely.

Hr, I take it you're unfamiliar with Rubens work?

It hasn't changed, from the Grecian Aphrodite, The Renaissance, to Victorian times. There are trends however the body and facial features remain similar. Namely flat stomachs and being “fit”, pretty faces have always been in style.

It has changed for women. Not so much for men.

Have a look at some paintings by Rubens or his contemporaries.

Rubens were a moment in time & an anomaly, like the Kardashian bum. I wouldn’t say they’re a classic beauty standard.

I repeat: Venus of Willendorf.

Though we don't really understand what the many statuettes in that style were meant to represent, because we don't know enough about Stone Age culture. We can't fully understand the mindset of peoples in dramatically different cultures and eras, so perhaps it's a bit specious to make sweeping statements about all the "proof" you have that there is one single universal standard of beauty, end of.

Fortunately there are some men out there who have the emotional intelligence to understand that attraction to someone as a partner is more about the type of person they are than whether they have a flat stomach and the right "facial features" (whatever that means).

@Cheekypeach

In my experience the most popular boobs are medium size, great shape & perky. Round and high & look good in low cut tops.

I used to have them 😢

Which is presumably what has led you to conclude that they are the most popular, as men attracted to that trait will have been attracted to you and told you so. Elsewhere other men are indicating to other women that large breasts/small breasts/doesn't matter what size I'm an arse man breasts are the most popular.

The thing is, apart from overall size, you don’t know what you are getting until the relationship progresses to the clothes off stage.

Even size can be artificially enhanced with chicken fillets or whatever.

@hotpinkkettle

The thing is, apart from overall size, you don’t know what you are getting until the relationship progresses to the clothes off stage.

Even size can be artificially enhanced with chicken fillets or whatever.

Indeed. Imagine the potential for disappointment for women.

Yep it’s far worse for women because, there isn’t any pc way to say this, you cannot tell the size of a man’s cock. There said it. Or if it’s a good girth, if he keeps himself tidy down there etc etc.
I was once seeing a beautiful man, absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. Such a disappointment when we got closer and I saw his ‘hidden bits’ totally crap in bed too and not very loyal either. Beautiful though.

Indeed. Imagine the potential for disappointment for women.

In fairness it works both ways, there are plenty of tricks in a woman's wardrobe that can help suppress or enhance the features of ones body. I have had a few occasions where I have seen someone unfold like a life raft once naked.

@DillonPanthersTexas

Indeed. Imagine the potential for disappointment for women.

In fairness it works both ways, there are plenty of tricks in a woman's wardrobe that can help suppress or enhance the features of ones body. I have had a few occasions where I have seen someone unfold like a life raft once naked.

Out of interest, did you continue to have sex with the woman or were you put off?

Out of interest, did you continue to have sex with the woman or were you put off?

I was not 'put off' as such, more a case of 'oh I was not expecting that'. I was still attracted to the person insofar as having been on several dates prior where I had really got to know the person.

@DillonPanthersTexas

Out of interest, did you continue to have sex with the woman or were you put off?

I was not 'put off' as such, more a case of 'oh I was not expecting that'. I was still attracted to the person insofar as having been on several dates prior where I had really got to know the person.

That must have been quite some underwear. If you're still in touch, I wonder where she got it from...? Asking for a friend...