What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

@greasyshoes

That’s exactly what I’m saying . There’s huge elements of socialisation. Involved ir the state of the economy at the time , what’s in fashion etc

That might be true for women. There's definitely a social aspect to women's sexuality; for example, discussing erotic fiction (in contrast to men, who look at erotic material in isolation).

I don't think men's sexual preferences are influenced by society or the media. As I said, models in magazines and on TV don't seem to reflect men's sexuality at all.

Porn reflects mens preference . We’ve had this discussion before . Porn sites know what men click on and provide more content like it Also what makes you think women discuss erotic fiction Never once in my life have I read erotic fiction nor have I ever heard one woman discuss it I think you are watching to much stereotyped media about women and not reading enough research , if any

Apparently according to greqsyshoes all us ladies read erotic fiction.
Not only that we apparently discuss said erotic fiction

Oh and btw greasyshoes along with not reading erotic fiction , not discussing erotic fiction , I couldn’t care less what other women think is attractive in men
Also Most men Ive known not only view erotic fiction but also read erotic fiction too btw

Porn reflects mens preference . We’ve had this discussion before . Porn sites know what men click on and provide more content like it

We're not talking about porn. In porn, the focus is mostly on the sex act.

Also what makes you think women discuss erotic fiction
Never once in my life have I read erotic fiction nor have I ever heard one woman discuss it. I think you are watching to much stereotyped media about women and not reading enough research , if any

I think you should look into how books like 50 Shades of Grey originated. Now it sounds like you need to do your homework, not me.

My husband's taste in women isn't what I expected it to be. He likes very normal looking women with smiling eyes. he's not into the skinny-bigtits-longswishyhair ladies at all. Surprised.

@greasyshoes

Porn reflects mens preference . We’ve had this discussion before . Porn sites know what men click on and provide more content like it

We're not talking about porn. In porn, the focus is mostly on the sex act.

Also what makes you think women discuss erotic fiction
Never once in my life have I read erotic fiction nor have I ever heard one woman discuss it. I think you are watching to much stereotyped media about women and not reading enough research , if any

I think you should look into how books like 50 Shades of Grey originated. Now it sounds like you need to do your homework, not me.

The sales of one book does not mean all women read erotic fiction Are you seriously basing your ridiculous statement that all women read and discuss erotic fiction in the sales of one book - that shows you have very little understanding of statistics or reality

How do you know women discuss erotic literature ?

Have you seen the amount of erotic literature porn sites and the men who post on them ?

You already declared you don’t need to read uo on the topic ad you think you know better but your woeful lack of knowledge is very apparent

By claiming in porn the main ficus is the sex act but womens preferences in how they choose mens looks are influenced by the so called erotic fiction they read and discuss

This is so absurd your actually making me laugh
I’m sure that men watch the oldest and ugliest women in porn and have no preferences of how women look . All those 80 yr old porn stars turning men on because of the sex acts alone lol. Lucky men don’t care about of get influenced by the porn stars huh otherwise we wouldnt all be able to look like porn stars well into our senior years

And all us women reading and discussing the erotic fiction about brad with his tanned body and long hair refusing to accept anything less
Omg yoh should write fiction

Don’t want to rock the porny boat here but porn actresses come in a very broad array of looks and body types. Including MILFs.

The survey suggests that women are increasingly getting their thrills from erotic literature while men are turning to online porn. Some 53 per cent of women admitted to reading erotic novels such as Fifty Shades of Grey, With 36% of men ‘

Amazing isn’t it @greasyshoes HALF of all women don’t even read it !!!!
Then you have over a third of men reading such books , now add in all the men who read erotica on porn sites and you have a HUGE number of men reading it

Research read read read read

@Palmfrond

Don’t want to rock the porny boat here but porn actresses come in a very broad array of looks and body types. Including MILFs.

Of course they do but there is a mainstream look … young being a main criteria . If someone older they are in a niche catagory like mature or granny

The average age of milf actress is 33

Also the point isn’t really about what types of porn catagories there are . The point is the lol is very important to men ( whatever look they are after ) unlike what @greasyshoes claims that is solely about the sex act
And that only womens preferences are influenced by their so called reading and discussing of erotic fiction.

*and grannies

@Anothergreatday Yes fair enough but I think, as with women, there is a wide gulf between wank fodder and irl attraction.

@Palmfrond

*and grannies

Yes an grannies but they are considered fetish There’s a huge dominated of young and slim

[quote Palmfrond]@Anothergreatday Yes fair enough but I think, as with women, there is a wide gulf between wank fodder and irl attraction.[/quote]
I’m not arguing against that
I’m saying media does impart some influence and that what sells is what people are physically attracted to
Whether people take that attraction into their real life is a different matter
For example I’m certain all the men who want a top of 20yr porn star look alike are not going to get anyone remotely close

I think most men appreciate a genuine woman who is confident in themselves. So a woman with hobbies interests etc. Doesn't have to match theirs.

Then there is just personal preferences. About the 'done up' women. I used to think men preferred that. Then I met my DP who genuinely prefers natural, no makeup! He also loved that I support a certain lower league football team - now he supports them

@HappyClappy1

Yes, breasts are quite high up (at number three)

There you go. If you haven't got huge breasts you don't even get to the next stage. Unless you "make up for your FLAW" by being generally stunning like a supermodel. Big breasted women can be average and will still win men's attention.

Wow. You seem rather unhealthily obsessed about this @HappyClappy1. Lots of men really do not like big breasts. It is just one attribute. Most supermodels are tall and willowy and have very small breasts and they are stunning! I think you seem to be projecting some unhappiness onto your physical appearance and that is never a healthy thing. I hope you are ok.

@Pinkbonbon

Only study I remeber reading about that considered breasts and attraction was talking about how middle class men were more likely to prefer smaller breasts and more working class men to prefer them on the larger side. How large their sample size was i don't know though. But, interesting.

Perhaps because less we'll off people are more likely to have come from ancestors who were poorer and as such may have struggled to feed themselves at times. So a genetic draw to big boobs because big boobs might subconsciously signify, abundance of food for babies?

But either way, plenty of men prefer smaller boobs. It's a preference just like blonde or brunette.

Agree, re. Tthe difference between working class and middle class men with this large breast preoccupation. In fact many men find it tacky because of the modern association with fake breasts.

The blonde/ brunette preference, within UK society, has similar links, where it is perceived differently (on average) in different groups.

In the not-too-distant past most poorer people worked outside so their hair would become generally lighter because of the sunshine. To be able to have dark hair and not have the Sun bleach it was a sign of wealth and status, the same as being pale was a sogn of status then. And also being "large" because most people could not afford to get fat!

So the beauty ideal for women was pale skin, dark hair and rather - ahem - plump! Obviously people are more conscious and aware of health these days so the ideal is a thinner body, for the majority.

It is fascinating. And also disturbing!

The one that got away is English, red haired with a clean posh accent. But she went back to her husband.😬🤔😮😭

You are married but you think it's ok to describe another woman as "the one who got away"?

How disrespectful. I feel sorry for her.

@HappyClappy1

"MC men may or may not like big breasts but are possibly less likely to say so in case it seems vulgar. " Or maybe WC men don't want to admit to liking small breasts not to be accused of being less macho? That didn't occur to you, did it? Because everybody just KNOWS big breasts are better.

These comments are just getting weird now. It's not healthy to feel like this about your body. I am sorry. I genuinely mean this, not being mean! I think therapy could be good for you on this topic.

@HappyClappy1

"Lol. No, I didn't say that." You said that middle class men might say they prefer small breasts but what they REALLY prefer is big breasts, they just don't want to admit it.

"Even a man with the meanest intellect knows better than to state a preference for an attribute a woman he is trying to pull doesn't have."
So your B-cup breasts don't exist? You don't have them? Are they not breasts? So it's not possible for a guy to be a "boob guy" and PREFER small breasts?
You think like those men yourself and that's what I'm talking about. It's only BIG TITS that matter to most people, men and women alike.

Omg this is beyond crazy now.

@HootOwl

The one that got away is English, red haired with a clean posh accent. But she went back to her husband.😬🤔😮😭

You are married but you think it's ok to describe another woman as "the one who got away"?

How disrespectful. I feel sorry for her.

Yes it’s horrible isn’t it

Who cares if men are attracted to 20 somethings? Hell, I'm guilty of stopping and admiring the daffodils in other people's gardens. They attract my attention, I find them lovely at this time of year.
Excellent post! You can admire something/someone without it defining you!

There is a difference between sexual attraction and sexual acquisition, and for many men a woman is exactly like their car and clothes, a reflection of them and their status. Have you never heard of a trophy wife? Its a well recognised phenomena. Men may have their individual preferences but in the world outside of you and your friends, I can assure you that trends influence what men desire to acquire. In the 80s Steve and 'the boys' lusted after Samantha Fox who would not be seen as anywhere near as desirable to Jake and the lads in their 20s, who watched Kim kardashian's arse 'break the internet'. Perhaps you have reached an age where you have more confidence to follow your individual preferences, outside of the mainstream, or perhaps you haven't realised that they haven't developed in a vacuum; but I can assure there is much evidence that tastes in all areas are manipulated. The whole advertising industry is based on this.

Porn reflects mens preference . We’ve had this discussion before . Porn sites know what men click on and provide more content like it

Porn reflects every kink and fantasy out there. There is a world of difference between a day to day 'preference' in someone's looks that feeds into an overall raft of attributes that makes someone attractive and a raw fantasy that focuses on one or two exaggerated physical aspects (massive fake boobs, big bum, BBW etc).