What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

@Hrpuffnstuff1

‘ I am English, it is my first language.
And you did use the word radical.
And no I'm not a feminist.’

Never denied using the word radical . absolute sarcasm that womrn bring equal to men would be a RADICAL belief to mysogynists!!!

That doesn’t mean it is a radical believe or that anyone who believe men and women are equal Is radical
I would consider that pretty simply to understand .

You clearly have a woeful understanding of feminism.
If you think using words about real things that exist like MYSOGYNY is some type of issue then you are clearly living a life where YOU are are blind to it and think it’s normal

It’s interesting that you claim conditioning has nothing to do with anything and models have a certain look solely because of instant attraction . Yet throughout history this ‘look ‘ had changed constantly . In different countries this look is different .
As for my questions that you refused to answer
I’ll ask again and see if we get anything straight other than some nonsense about ‘feminist filters

I’m not even going to bother asking what you think feminism is because you clearly have no idea

Do you believe men and women , although different are equal ? Should womrn have the same rights ad men in work home and relationships ?

[quote Palmfrond]@Hrpuffnstuff1

Models have a particular look for a reason, they are the epitome of beauty. If you show 10 men a picture of a beautiful model the answers will be basically unanimous

No, they are generally a woman or gay man’s epitome of beauty. Unfortunately.[/quote]
And it changes all the time . What is considered beautiful now is different to few hundred years ago , to what will be in another hundred . Also where one’s lives affects it too . It’s hugely influenced by socialisation and the in the west especially media media

[quote Palmfrond]@Hrpuffnstuff1

*Your post still doesn't rebuff what I said.
Young, slim.
Which is what this thread is all about.
I'm not convinced my choices have anything to do with patriarchal brainwashing or mail order. wink

I wonder if Helen of Troy was a patriarchal invention.
grin•

My post absolutely rebuffs what you said. Show a photo of a woman that you, or in this case probably a woman or a gay man in the fashion industry, find beautiful, you won’t get 10 men agreeing. This is even less likely if they’re an actual fashion model as they are famously underweight and a bit sexless.
To hold fashion models up as a paradigm of beauty seems almost as if you need an official validation as to who you find attractive? If you said film actresses I think you’d have a better point, but they are more diverse in “look” than models.

And, btw, the Trojan War is the most comically patriarchal thing to have ever happened. Massive cock fight over the ownership of a woman.[/quote]
Ah however fashion models often end up film or stage. They diversify.

Wife is an ex swimwear model.
It's not who I find attractive, the original question was objective, I gave an objective answer.
Then some muddied the waters with half baked sociology theory. Womensplaining about men's choices.

What'll really piss you off is I'm 5 8, bald and mid aged.🤣
Breaking the mould

And please could somebody explain to @Hrpuffnstuff1 why believing men and women are equal would not be radical and the basics of English
Because he seems to either not understand jokes I or actually thinks it would it a really radical thing to believe women are equal to men

@Hrpuffnstuff1
Why do you think any of that would p anyone off ? I don’t understand ?

@Anothergreatday

And please could somebody explain to *@Hrpuffnstuff1* why believing men and women are equal would not be radical and the basics of English Because he seems to either not understand jokes I or actually thinks it would it a really radical thing to believe women are equal to men

I wish you'd understand the objective basic factors that drive attraction.

@Hrpuffnstuff1
Do you believe men and women , although different are equal ? Should womrn have the same rights ad men in work home and relationships ?

[quote Anothergreatday]@Hrpuffnstuff1
Why do you think any of that would p anyone off ? I don’t understand ?[/quote]
I think its because he keeps telling us he has a beautiful wife (actually, she may be Baltic, I think he may have mentioned...?) and he thinks we'll be cross that a short unattractive man has managed to attract her, as he thinks it disproves our theories.

@5128gap

Lol I guess he doesn’t realises some of us may be fat little middle age women married to hit younger men

Oh and that our hot younger husband might also see us as equals …. Radical huh

[quote Palmfrond]@Hrpuffnstuff1

Models have a particular look for a reason, they are the epitome of beauty. If you show 10 men a picture of a beautiful model the answers will be basically unanimous

No, they are generally a woman or gay man’s epitome of beauty. Unfortunately.[/quote]
I agree with this. I rarely find models desirable, supermodels even less so. Facially I can see how they’re beautiful in a perfect predictable kind of way, but other than that it just seems to be a matter of being tall and skinny.

@ravenmum

If any of the above posters are not HappyClappy1, please note that HappyClappy1 has so far posted almost exclusively about breasts, and encourages women to describe theirs.

Oh yes, an advanced search can be very revealing (no pun intended). Out of twenty posts, three were about Brexit, the other seventeen have all been about breasts, in three different threads over the last four months.

It’s interesting that you claim conditioning has nothing to do with anything and models have a certain look solely because of instant attraction . Yet throughout history this ‘look ‘ had changed constantly . In different countries this look is different .

The assumption you're making is that models are what men have universally deemed to be attractive, which is simply not the case. I would actually argue that with female models mostly appearing in magazines and TV shows consumed by women, female models are a reflection of women's perception of beauty, not men's.

What men find beautiful is universal across all countries, and it's pretty much the same things that all people find beautiful. Perfect teeth, smooth clear skin, soft hair, etc. etc. And of course, the reason why these are deemed to be beautiful is because they are indicators of good health. Which means those of us in poor health get screwed over, unfortunately.

@greasyshoes

It’s interesting that you claim conditioning has nothing to do with anything and models have a certain look solely because of instant attraction . Yet throughout history this ‘look ‘ had changed constantly . In different countries this look is different .

The assumption you're making is that models are what men have universally deemed to be attractive, which is simply not the case. I would actually argue that with female models mostly appearing in magazines and TV shows consumed by women, female models are a reflection of women's perception of beauty, not men's.

What men find beautiful is universal across all countries, and it's pretty much the same things that all people find beautiful. Perfect teeth, smooth clear skin, soft hair, etc. etc. And of course, the reason why these are deemed to be beautiful is because they are indicators of good health. Which means those of us in poor health get screwed over, unfortunately.

That’s exactly what I’m saying . There’s huge elements of socialisation. Involved ir the state of the economy at the time , what’s in fashion etc @Hrpuffnstuff1 only one claiming men find models universally appealing

Big tits

@DillonPanthersTexas

Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering

It's almost like some men value things like humour, intelligence, shared values and interests rather then just how big a woman's tits are or how 'glamorous' she is.

😂 This is true. Looks are part of a package but all of the above is more important.

[quote Lpc3]@boaroff men need to start calling it out to other men. None of my male friends would make advances unless a woman has given clear indication she wants to be approached - it's just good manners.[/quote]
How would a woman do that?

@Hrpuffnstuff1

What'll really piss you off is I'm 5 8, bald and mid aged.🤣

Lol, clearly you’ve got nothing to prove then!

That’s exactly what I’m saying . There’s huge elements of socialisation. Involved ir the state of the economy at the time , what’s in fashion etc

That might be true for women. There's definitely a social aspect to women's sexuality; for example, discussing erotic fiction (in contrast to men, who look at erotic material in isolation).

I don't think men's sexual preferences are influenced by society or the media. As I said, models in magazines and on TV don't seem to reflect men's sexuality at all.

@Anothergreatday

Oh and that our hot younger husband might also see us as equals …. Radical huh

Indeed. Maybe because unlike the older ones, some young ones attitudes don't date back to when they were in their prime. Which would be circa 1975.

@Gwegowygwiggs

Big tits

Have you even read through the thread? The only men I've known for whom that is the defining aspect of attraction were some 11 year olds when I was at school.

@greasyshoes

That’s exactly what I’m saying . There’s huge elements of socialisation. Involved ir the state of the economy at the time , what’s in fashion etc

That might be true for women. There's definitely a social aspect to women's sexuality; for example, discussing erotic fiction (in contrast to men, who look at erotic material in isolation).

I don't think men's sexual preferences are influenced by society or the media. As I said, models in magazines and on TV don't seem to reflect men's sexuality at all.

I disagree. Throughout the decades there has been distinct changes in the type of female form that is in vogue. Hour glass in the 50s, slim and boyish in the 60s/70s, broader shoulders, large breasts and slim hips in the 80s, waif like 90s, and the current trend for tiny waists smaller breasts and large hips and bums. Just as men follow trends in clothes, cars, hairstyles, they follow trends in women. Men want what other men aspire to and they learn what is aspirational from the media. My 20s DS and his friends admire a very different look in a woman to the look that was coveted when I was young, and is probably still admired by older men, who are a product of their own socialisation. The images of women in the media don't reflect ordinary mens sexual preferences, they create them. There are of course inate preferences, and these may differ from those fed to men, but most don't deviate too far from the mainstream as they want their choices affirmed by other men. Of course men will strongly deny this as its uncomfortable to think they are not captain of their own ship.

And ffs will someone throw out that kid who keeps shouting 'big tits' every 5 minutes. Shouldn't he be in bed by now on a school night?

Throughout the decades there has been distinct changes in the type of female form that is in vogue. Hour glass in the 50s, slim and boyish in the 60s/70s, broader shoulders, large breasts and slim hips in the 80s, waif like 90s, and the current trend for tiny waists smaller breasts and large hips and bums.

As I explained in my previous comment, there is no evidence that those trends have anything to do with men's sexual preferences.

Just as men follow trends in clothes, cars, hairstyles, they follow trends in women. Men want what other men aspire to and they learn what is aspirational from the media.

First of all, appreciation for clothes, cars, and hairstyles is nothing like sexual attraction. Appreciation for clothes, cars, and hairstyles is on a higher cognitive level, similar to appreciation for art. Sexual attraction is in the "older" part of the brain. Erections and orgasms are reflex responses.

Second, I have seen absolutely no evidence among the men I know that they like a woman just because other men aspire to have that women. They seem to very much just like the women that they like, without caring what other men think. Me personally, I could not care less what other men are attracted to, or what other men think of what I am attracted to.

And ffs will someone throw out that kid who keeps shouting 'big tits' every 5 minutes. Shouldn't he be in bed by now on a school night?

Steady!

It could be Tourette’s.