What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

??? You really find it soooo hard to believe that someone might actually prefer smaller breasts?

Some women think the models they see in magazines are what men are attracted to. Unfortunately, some women spend far too much time consuming 'mediur' and not enough time actually talking to men.

I really wouldn't pay worry about men say they're preferences are.

Men's preferences change depending on whoever they're talking to -

Find someone you connect with, don't bother putting effort or emotional investment into physical attributes.

What if she could sing the whole of Good Year for the Roses? 🙂

Not sure, however if she could belt out This Years Girl it could be a date!

😉

[quote greasyshoes]@Anothergreatday

Absolute nonsense . Tell it to the many women who get left for younger women. If a man had a choice between a 30 year old and a 60 yr old woman who are both attractive and interested in him he will almost always choose the 30 yr old. Don’t tell women that me. Don’t reject then for being too old. Men set their perimeters on dating apps to reject women THEIR SAME age for being ‘ too old all the time !

I think you have been watching too much TV. The overwhelming majority of men I know are in relationships with women who are about the same age. I don't see "many" women being ditched for younger women.

Men in dating apps who have their profile set to reject messages from women the same age are a very small minority.

And by the way you did say you didn’t read!

No I didn't.[/quote]
Actually no I do t watch tv at all !
I read , extensively , it’s a great way to educate oneself
Ad for men in dating sites who set their limits to much younger only , they are not a small minority it’s actually not uncommon at all. Men in their 40s, 50s or beyond who have ages of for example say 18-35

I’m assuming ad a man you are not coming across men on dating sites so I’m wondering how you know it’s a ‘minority ‘ especially when it’s a common complain from women that they experience men their own age who to this.

I get my knowledge that it’s actually quite common from actually seeing and experiencing men do it and also reading about other womens experiences of it
Where are you getting this information that it’s a tiny minority ?

@HappyClappy1

If you think that 37 inches breasts are "small" then you're a prime example how society has been brainwashed.

What are 37-inch breasts? Diameter or circumference?

@Anothergreatday I live in London where is a huge pool of men. I’m mid-40s. As an experiment, I set my own age to 30 to see how the 40s pool compared with those when I used my true age. There was a marked difference looks wise and plenty of men I didn’t see when I used my actual age. So, based on my experience, I’m inclined to agree with you. Many mid-40s men are not interested in women their age.

I am a similar age to dh. He is not interested in women a lot younger than him, he says he can't imagine what they would talk about. Dh also doesn't find dumb women attractive, he has to be with someone who is intelligent. I think finding someone attractive is not the same as wanting to commit to them.
I find Tom Holland very attractive. I know it is very unlikely that I would ever be in a relationship with him. However for me, maybe because I don't 'need' a man as such, I absolutely would not be in a serious relationship with someone I could not have daily conversations with about serious topics.
When dh and I met we said at last, someone we can discuss any topic with and have a deep discussion without getting a blank expression back.

[quote Milomonster]@Anothergreatday I live in London where is a huge pool of men. I’m mid-40s. As an experiment, I set my own age to 30 to see how the 40s pool compared with those when I used my true age. There was a marked difference looks wise and plenty of men I didn’t see when I used my actual age. So, based on my experience, I’m inclined to agree with you. Many mid-40s men are not interested in women their age.[/quote]
Yet in the vast majority of marriages, the partners are within 5 years of each other, with over 40% being within 2 years, so there is obviously a lot of interest in their own age when it comes to actual relationships. Likely because when it comes to an actual relationship, most people consider more than just physical looks.

[quote Milomonster]@Anothergreatday I live in London where is a huge pool of men. I’m mid-40s. As an experiment, I set my own age to 30 to see how the 40s pool compared with those when I used my true age. There was a marked difference looks wise and plenty of men I didn’t see when I used my actual age. So, based on my experience, I’m inclined to agree with you. Many mid-40s men are not interested in women their age.[/quote]
But what men want when they look in the sweetie shop window and what they end up with in reality are often very different.

Men are vain enough to think they can pull women 10-15 years younger when the reality is not often that.

Unless they are very rich, millionaires or both.

Not all @JinglingHellsBells

My brother is a very intelligent man and he married someone similar. Values come into it, too. Initially, maybe but for long term commitment I think men are more discerning.

@samyeagar

Yes but who people are in relationships with only trlld us about how the story ends . It doesn’t tell us about preferences
Even though most men may prefer younger that doesn’t mean younger women are interested in them
Just like most men might want a 35 yr old with a great body but clearly they arnt all gonna get one
Men have to settle for what they can get qbd who is interested and will have them

It’s like saying most people drive mid range cars so that’s obviously what they want . No, most people drive mid range cost cars is because they are accessible to more people .

@JinglingHellsBells
Exactly !

Men are vain enough to think they can pull women 10-15 years younger when the reality is not often that.

Pretty normal in my family going back several generations.

We have never been very rich, nor millionaires.

@Anothergreatday. Some truth there

@Bellalastrasse

Not all *@JinglingHellsBells*

My brother is a very intelligent man and he married someone similar. Values come into it, too. Initially, maybe but for long term commitment I think men are more discerning.

Agree here too , some men have values that mean they look for a partner who is a peer with similar life experience and at similar stages in life

I know lots of men who have got to about 48 and have either left their similar age, intelligent wives for a younger woman or have been caught out trying it on with one.

[quote Anothergreatday]@samyeagar

Yes but who people are in relationships with only trlld us about how the story ends . It doesn’t tell us about preferences
Even though most men may prefer younger that doesn’t mean younger women are interested in them
Just like most men might want a 35 yr old with a great body but clearly they arnt all gonna get one
Men have to settle for what they can get qbd who is interested and will have them

It’s like saying most people drive mid range cars so that’s obviously what they want . No, most people drive mid range cost cars is because they are accessible to more people .[/quote]
But this gets back to the fact that youth is attractive to both men and women of any age. From a purely physical looks standpoint, the vast majority of women would find men in their 20's generally more attractive physically than men in the 50's. Doesn't mean they actually want a relationship with one. Doesn't mean they are going to have one. Doesn't mean they are settling either.

I think this all goes back to how ambiguous the thread title is, and how so many different interpretations have popped up here on this thread.

For both men and women, attractive to just look at and attractive to have a relationship with will yield two different answers for a person.

We are kind of going around in circles here though - there are men that have turned my head but never in a million years would I seriously consider them for a relationship. There is definitely the head turning attraction but it is a shallow thing like comparing dessert to a proper meal - they are not really in the same league.

Everyone has the attraction - it’s whether you build relationships on it or not - whether it is part of a bigger attraction to the person or just that shallow attraction. I don’t think that many intelligent men could sustain an interest in something so shallow for a decent time. Not once real committed is warranted.

I was in the supermarket last week paying for my groceries. Across from me at the next till was a man in his 40’s. He was nicely dressed and handsome in a modelly type of way.(not my cup of tea at all!)

Anyway, the cashier at my till was practically wetting herself over this guy. Very loudly proclaiming how gorgeous he was and what she’d like to do to him. It was so over the top i was wondering if I was imagining the whole scenario. He glanced over a few times then paid for his groceries and left.
She was still going on about it 5 minutes later.
I thought it was interesting she then said, it was nice to see a man who looks after himself and she was sick of the male customers coming in in their dirty looking tracksuit bottoms and her partner who had ‘let himself go’.

@samyeagar exactly

@samyeagar

‘ But this gets back to the fact that youth is attractive to both men and women of any age. From a purely physical looks standpoint, the vast majority of women would find men in their 20's generally more attractive physically than men in the 50's. Doesn't mean they actually want a relationship with one. Doesn't mean they are going to have one. Doesn't mean they are settling either.’

No I think there’s a huge difference
. Although both men and women may objectively see younger people can be more attractive . It seems many men WANT relationships with much younger women IF they could have them , however because they can’t obtain the younger women they want , they settle for a woman their age
Whereas wome may say well a 30 yr old looks objectively better than a 50 yr old man but I’d never WANT to date or marry him
Big difference

[quote Bellalastrasse]@samyeagar exactly[/quote]
Over and over we see women saying they would never dream of having a relationship with a man hugely younger than them
Men on the other hand are actually hitting in and actively attempting relationships with much younger women all the time . Not just irk but in dating sites etc .
There’s a big difference between saying youth is generally more attractive and saying who men want yo date versus who women want to date

@samyeagar if a 50 yr old man really wants a relationship with a 25 -30 year old woman yet none will touch him with a barge pole , but women his age will consider hi. Then I’d definately consider that settling for what he considers second best

Also settling for her too btw ( that’s if she even knows that’s he really wishes he had a much younger woman )