Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What do men actually find attractive about women?

847 replies

kellyspark · 13/02/2022 18:10

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

OP posts:
Hrpuffnstuff1 · 16/02/2022 19:02

@konasana

They need to be like James Bond. Capable. Honourable. Charming and funny. Good in bed!
🤣🤣 Which Bond...???
boaroff · 16/02/2022 19:03

Oh dear, what's happened to the thread! I was finding it interesting, and now it's all chest size and deletions.

Surely few people would want to date, or have a relationship with, the sort of man whose primary interest and attraction was breast size. Not shallow particularly, more sleazy.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 19:13

"Lol. No, I didn't say that."
You said that middle class men might say they prefer small breasts but what they REALLY prefer is big breasts, they just don't want to admit it.

"Even a man with the meanest intellect knows better than to state a preference for an attribute a woman he is trying to pull doesn't have."
So your B-cup breasts don't exist? You don't have them? Are they not breasts? So it's not possible for a guy to be a "boob guy" and PREFER small breasts?
You think like those men yourself and that's what I'm talking about. It's only BIG TITS that matter to most people, men and women alike.

pateu · 16/02/2022 19:20

When did tit size become a class thing?! 🤔😆

Soffit · 16/02/2022 19:26

Breasts are likely to fall down the list because of the fact that men are now growing fairly sizeable ones. I do not believe it was a thing when I was a child. I never saw dads and grandads with moobs. If they are mildly repulsed by their own breasts then it is unlikely that the female ones will seem so intriguing after that

DdraigGoch · 16/02/2022 19:29

@pateu

When did tit size become a class thing?! 🤔😆
It's Mumsnet, everything is a class thing.
pateu · 16/02/2022 19:30

True dat!

Jasmine5552 · 16/02/2022 19:43

@HappyClappy1

Only I (and women like me) know what it's like living with small breasts. So other people, and big breasted women in particular, having the cheek to tell me they know better and invalidating my experience is disgraceful.
So do I.
Bellalastrasse · 16/02/2022 19:44

There is something wrong however in large breasts being seen as vulgar when it is a body norm rather than the focus being on the page 3 representation of women that focuses on topless models and made such a big thing about bigger breasts.

Also, I think The Smiths should have the last word on this.

Some girls are bigger than others

Some girls mothers’ are bigger than other girls’ mothers

Mozza, where was your head at?

Jasmine5552 · 16/02/2022 19:46

I can confidently say that men don't find me attractive as I haven't been approached by a man for over 12 years now. Luckily my other half finds me attractive which is good.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 19:49

A body norm? A norm is being in proportion. And now apparently having the perfect hourglass figure of 37-24-37 is not adequate anymore. You need oversized breasts and be top heavy to be considered attractive these days.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

5128gap · 16/02/2022 19:53

@HappyClappy1

A body norm? A norm is being in proportion. And now apparently having the perfect hourglass figure of 37-24-37 is not adequate anymore. You need oversized breasts and be top heavy to be considered attractive these days.
Says who? I don't see anyone on here saying that but you.
pateu · 16/02/2022 19:56

And now apparently having the perfect hourglass figure of 37-24-37 is not adequate anymore. You need oversized breasts and be top heavy to be considered attractive these days.

That's nonsense. Plus I would say bottom heavy is far more on trend.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 19:57

You are saying that. You can't possibly be attractive to a man who's into boobs because your breasts (on a perfect hourglass figure) are TOO SMALL.

DillonPanthersTexas · 16/02/2022 20:01

We're in the same boat. Men only approach women who flaunt their cleavage

Ah well, I like smaller breasts, probably because I am very sporty and I am attracted to sporty women and there is (generalising) a strong correlation between sporty women and smaller breast size. However, usually the first thing I notice is a general positive demeanor, some people just radiate good vibes without having to even speak to them, that and a nice smile and I'm smitten. I'm middle class if that makes any difference and I have a dog called Elvis

5128gap · 16/02/2022 20:07

@HappyClappy1

You are saying that. You can't possibly be attractive to a man who's into boobs because your breasts (on a perfect hourglass figure) are TOO SMALL.
I think its fair to say if a man preferred big breasts he would not consider mine ideal. However, given that I prefer 6' 2" gorgeous gym fit 28 year olds with tattoos, there's a lot of things about most men I wouldn't consider ideal either. But we make do.
Bellalastrasse · 16/02/2022 20:08

@DillonPanthersTexas

But if you met a woman with good vibes, nice smile, sporty and large breasted you would still be interested? Particularly if she liked dogs and Elvis?!

Because your post suggests it’s the personality (sporty, radiant, friendly, upbeat) that is the main attraction. It seems coincidental that they have (in the past) been small breasted.

hotpinkkettle · 16/02/2022 20:10

Ah well, I like smaller breasts, probably because I am very sporty

Do you belong to a running club?

DillonPanthersTexas · 16/02/2022 20:15

But if you met a woman with good vibes, nice smile, sporty and large breasted you would still be interested? Particularly if she liked dogs and Elvis?

Of course, but, if given the unlikely choice of two identical sporty smiley good vibe women, one with large breasts and one with smaller breasts I would opt for the latter. If she had a dog called Costello that would be a bonus.

DillonPanthersTexas · 16/02/2022 20:15

Do you belong to a running club?

Rowing.

greasyshoes · 16/02/2022 20:32

@Anothergreatday

Absolute nonsense . Tell it to the many women who get left for younger women. If a man had a choice between a 30 year old and a 60 yr old woman who are both attractive and interested in him he will almost always choose the 30 yr old. Don’t tell women that me. Don’t reject then for being too old. Men set their perimeters on dating apps to reject women THEIR SAME age for being ‘ too old all the time !

I think you have been watching too much TV. The overwhelming majority of men I know are in relationships with women who are about the same age. I don't see "many" women being ditched for younger women.

Men in dating apps who have their profile set to reject messages from women the same age are a very small minority.

And by the way you did say you didn’t read!

No I didn't.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 20:34

@DillonPanthersTexas

We're in the same boat. Men only approach women who flaunt their cleavage

Ah well, I like smaller breasts, probably because I am very sporty and I am attracted to sporty women and there is (generalising) a strong correlation between sporty women and smaller breast size. However, usually the first thing I notice is a general positive demeanor, some people just radiate good vibes without having to even speak to them, that and a nice smile and I'm smitten. I'm middle class if that makes any difference and I have a dog called Elvis

According to 5128gap, you really prefer large breasts, you just don't want to admit it.
HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 20:38

[quote Bellalastrasse]@DillonPanthersTexas

But if you met a woman with good vibes, nice smile, sporty and large breasted you would still be interested? Particularly if she liked dogs and Elvis?!

Because your post suggests it’s the personality (sporty, radiant, friendly, upbeat) that is the main attraction. It seems coincidental that they have (in the past) been small breasted.[/quote]
"It seems coincidental that they have (in the past) been small breasted."
??? You really find it soooo hard to believe that someone might actually prefer smaller breasts? I knew large chested women were smug and conceited, but I didn't realise just how much.

Bellalastrasse · 16/02/2022 20:44

Give over @HappyClappy1You have intentionally misconstrued my point.

@DillonPanthersTexas

What if she could sing the whole of Good Year for the Roses? 🙂