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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do men actually find attractive about women?

847 replies

kellyspark · 13/02/2022 18:10

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

OP posts:
HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 17:03

Yes, breasts are quite high up (at number three)

There you go. If you haven't got huge breasts you don't even get to the next stage. Unless you "make up for your FLAW" by being generally stunning like a supermodel. Big breasted women can be average and will still win men's attention.

DdraigGoch · 16/02/2022 17:05

@HappyClappy1

Yes, breasts are quite high up (at number three)

There you go. If you haven't got huge breasts you don't even get to the next stage. Unless you "make up for your FLAW" by being generally stunning like a supermodel. Big breasted women can be average and will still win men's attention.

Did you even read the rest of that paragraph? Certainly my eyes may be drawn to breasts (after noticing eyes and smile) but that happens whether they are large or small.
Bellalastrasse · 16/02/2022 17:12

But it doesn’t say that men notice only big breasts! Just breasts! And then there is their personal preference small/pierced/tattooed whatever.

You are only see attraction = big rather than attraction = breasts!

Pinkbonbon · 16/02/2022 17:25

Only study I remeber reading about that considered breasts and attraction was talking about how middle class men were more likely to prefer smaller breasts and more working class men to prefer them on the larger side. How large their sample size was i don't know though. But, interesting.

Perhaps because less we'll off people are more likely to have come from ancestors who were poorer and as such may have struggled to feed themselves at times. So a genetic draw to big boobs because big boobs might subconsciously signify, abundance of food for babies?

But either way, plenty of men prefer smaller boobs. It's a preference just like blonde or brunette.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 16/02/2022 17:34

[quote SparklingStars10]@Hrpuffnstuff1 I get it, you like Baltic women but there’s no need to generalise and put English women down.[/quote]
I'm not putting English women down.

The one that got away is English, red haired with a clean posh accent. But she went back to her husband.😬🤔😮😭

5128gap · 16/02/2022 17:38

@Pinkbonbon

Only study I remeber reading about that considered breasts and attraction was talking about how middle class men were more likely to prefer smaller breasts and more working class men to prefer them on the larger side. How large their sample size was i don't know though. But, interesting.

Perhaps because less we'll off people are more likely to have come from ancestors who were poorer and as such may have struggled to feed themselves at times. So a genetic draw to big boobs because big boobs might subconsciously signify, abundance of food for babies?

But either way, plenty of men prefer smaller boobs. It's a preference just like blonde or brunette.

If its true I doubt its biological. Far more likely to be because society has over sexualised large breasts, presenting them as 'vulgar' over the decades, from buxom wenches to carry on films to page 3. MC men probably don't want to admit it in case it makes them seem basic.
SparklingStars10 · 16/02/2022 17:42

Christ, this thread is becoming depressing. Are we really saying smaller busted women aren’t noticeable now.

@Hrpuffnstuff1 read your comments back to yourself.

Bellalastrasse · 16/02/2022 17:43

@5128gap think that sounds accurate

cutebbg · 16/02/2022 18:03

People always bring up the 'biological' argument and I have to eye-roll. Maybe back in the cave days people chose mates based off of feeding offspring, certainly not the case now.

Media has a much bigger impact on what's attractive than primitive psychology. Otherwise thin wouldn't have been in in the 2000s. There's clearly enough men reproducing with thin/small chested/bottomed women for the trait to exist in the population.

We know in the 21st century that fertility very little to do with the size of ones assets, barring those who are starving in an actual famine etc.

samyeagar · 16/02/2022 18:10

Again, this is all trying to over simplify an extremely complex subject.

For myself, and nothing to suggest that I am all that different from the norm, if the only consideration was who is more physically attractive, a 25 year old or a 45 year old, it is almost always going to be the 25 year old.

But there is far more to consider than just that. If the consideration was who would I want to have an actual relationship with, it would be the 45 year old, even though the 25 year old is more physically attractive. The 45 year old would be in a more compatible life stage, and would almost certainly be better at sex than the 25 year old. And I don't think women are all that different in that regard.

Sure, the 25 year old would be pleasant to look at, but that is never the be all and end all, and this thread, like all those that have come before it, and will come again, conflate so many things.

EBearhug · 16/02/2022 18:30

There you go. If you haven't got huge breasts you don't even get to the next stage.

Yeah, you can. I've got A-cups, I'm 3st overweight, I don't wear make-up, and recent dating experiences show I can definitely get the men.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:31

" MC men probably don't want to admit it in case it makes them seem basic. "
Oh, so you are saying ALL men prefer big breasts? The working class just say it openly and middle class don't want to admit it openly?

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:37

Only I (and women like me) know what it's like living with small breasts. So other people, and big breasted women in particular, having the cheek to tell me they know better and invalidating my experience is disgraceful.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:38

@EBearhug

There you go. If you haven't got huge breasts you don't even get to the next stage.

Yeah, you can. I've got A-cups, I'm 3st overweight, I don't wear make-up, and recent dating experiences show I can definitely get the men.

Your A-cups are probably three times bigger than my B-cups. I am size 6 and EVERY woman is bigger than me, in all departments.
5128gap · 16/02/2022 18:46

@HappyClappy1

" MC men probably don't want to admit it in case it makes them seem basic. " Oh, so you are saying ALL men prefer big breasts? The working class just say it openly and middle class don't want to admit it openly?
Oh goodness knows Happy. But I wasn't saying that no, because I don't think they do. Mine are small too but, excuse me for sounding braggy, they are perfect on my frame. I'm 37 24 37 and a B cup and men tell me they love my body. That said, if they're trying to get to have sex with me, they're hardly going to tell me they're a tit man, so really, who knows? My point was that MC men may or may not like big breasts but are possibly less likely to say so in case it seems vulgar. But the truth could be completely different.
HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:46

5128gap finds it unbelievable that anyone might prefer smaller breasts. Surely they must be lying.
And you ask me what my problem is.

Bellalastrasse · 16/02/2022 18:47

I think Happy is a troll trying to get us all to reveal our cup size

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:50

"they're hardly going to tell me they're a tit man"
Surely, what tit man would go for B-cups? They'd only go for huge tits, wouldn't they? Is that what you are saying?

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:53

"MC men may or may not like big breasts but are possibly less likely to say so in case it seems vulgar. "
Or maybe WC men don't want to admit to liking small breasts not to be accused of being less macho? That didn't occur to you, did it? Because everybody just KNOWS big breasts are better.

TYU7 · 16/02/2022 18:53

I’m drawn to dark skin, dark hair, freckles, smaller boobs and slim.

HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:53

@Bellalastrasse

I think Happy is a troll trying to get us all to reveal our cup size
Busty women always happily reveal their cup size, even without asking.
HappyClappy1 · 16/02/2022 18:56

If you think that 37 inches breasts are "small" then you're a prime example how society has been brainwashed.

konasana · 16/02/2022 18:59

They need to be like James Bond. Capable. Honourable. Charming and funny. Good in bed!

5128gap · 16/02/2022 19:01

@HappyClappy1

5128gap finds it unbelievable that anyone might prefer smaller breasts. Surely they must be lying. And you ask me what my problem is.
Lol. No, I didn't say that. I said that the men who say they like my body may by lying if they're trying to have sex with me. Even a man with the meanest intellect knows better than to state a preference for an attribute a woman he is trying to pull doesn't have. Of course I believe people might prefer small breasts. I prefer them myself on me. Though I appreciate I'm not your target market.
5128gap · 16/02/2022 19:02

@HappyClappy1

If you think that 37 inches breasts are "small" then you're a prime example how society has been brainwashed.
Its my back. I'm a B cup.