What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

Yeh is not so fun. Sometimes I'm not brave enough to be able to wear a tank top when its 30 degrees out because guarantee if I do, on the walk to the shop, there would be leery sorts.

Might not seem like a big thing in the grand scheme of things. But the sort of men looking at your breasts are most certainly not the sort who attention you would ever want to attract.

Also, I could be wrong but, smaller boobs seem lots more popular these days. Smallish boobs and athletic bodies.

And I've definately found partners have preferd my bum too. Even though its a perfectly average bum lol.

Jesus, no kidding

Not read the whole thread yet but I have an old friend who is very, very average looking, probably on the plain side and is about a size 14.

She is genuinely into a lot of "men's activities" such as football, cycling and old cars as opposed to pretending to be into them to get dates. Ie belongs to a supporters club, attends old car meets etc.

She has a lot of men friends and a lot of these friendships have evolved into relationships. Looks are not everything.

I think what women think men find attractive and what men actually find attractive can be quite different.

@Bellalastrasse

Ah hang on, *@HappyClappy1*.

I am petite (5’2 - 1/4 inch taller than Kylie!) busty, blondey brown hair and I get zero attention. Am also incredibly uncomfortable about my bustiness so it’s big jumpers and shirts for me to play them down. I can guarantee as it has happened so often that I could be say on my own somewhere and I never get chatted up. I see my friends get approached by decent guys the whole time. I am am also fairly shy and awkward. If in the past, I ever did get talking to someone, even my friends would say I talked too much and didn’t give a chance for anything to naturally flow (true, I would be very nervous talking to guys I like).

It’s not physical as in height/bust, etc - it’s body language - relaxed, open, approachable.

Yeah, right, it's not physical at all. What about this: "I walk down the street and pass an attractive young woman with big tits and there's an instant, undeniable rush of attraction."

@Pinkbonbon

Yeh is not so fun. Sometimes I'm not brave enough to be able to wear a tank top when its 30 degrees out because guarantee if I do, on the walk to the shop, there would be leery sorts.

Might not seem like a big thing in the grand scheme of things. But the sort of men looking at your breasts are most certainly not the sort who attention you would ever want to attract.

Also, I could be wrong but, smaller boobs seem lots more popular these days. Smallish boobs and athletic bodies.

And I've definately found partners have preferd my bum too. Even though its a perfectly average bum lol.

I love busty women moaning about being too sexy. Yawn.

@THisbackwithavengeance

Not read the whole thread yet but I have an old friend who is very, very average looking, probably on the plain side and is about a size 14.

She is genuinely into a lot of "men's activities" such as football, cycling and old cars as opposed to pretending to be into them to get dates. Ie belongs to a supporters club, attends old car meets etc.

She has a lot of men friends and a lot of these friendships have evolved into relationships. Looks are not everything.

I think what women think men find attractive and what men actually find attractive can be quite different.

Looks ARE everything when it comes to finding someone ATTRACTIVE and I believe this is what this thread is about. Source: "I walk down the street and pass an attractive young woman with big tits and there's an instant, undeniable rush of attraction."

@Hrpuffnstuff1 I get it, you like Baltic women but there’s no need to generalise and put English women down.

That’s lust and it really isn’t the thing you think it is. It’s usually accompanied by rude gestures, looks, etc that make you feel really uncomfortable and often quite threatened.

There is nothing a woman can take away from that - it’s not flattering, desirable or confidence building - quite the opposite.

Whatever you think in your mind, the reality is really not something you want.

@Pinkbonbon

Honey you know what, I'd rather be busty and sexy (even though it comes with its issues) and love myself. Than bitter ,self loathing , jealous and mysoginstic.

But you do you...At this rate you'll probably have to ,for quite some time.

"I'd rather be busty and sexy" No kidding.

Of course they flaunt their boobs. And of course they won't admit it. Somehow they always choose a V-neck as they "look bad" in anything that doesn't show their cleavage.

Sorry this is utter horse-shit. Absolutely no one in my extensive friendship group who is well endowed "flaunts" anything. Never mind their breasts. Sounds like sexist claptrap to me.

And generally speaking, having large breasts is an absolute drag in terms of exercise and sport, trying to get clothes to fit properly, especially professional wear such as jackets, which are either too small on the bust and too big on the shoulders or vice versa. The buttons of shirts (which is what I wear under v-necked jumpers thank you very much ) gape at the front. And the larger your breasts are, the harder it is too detect any suspicious lumps that shouldn't be there during a mammogram. So it is not altogether a bundle of laughs being well endowed.

And yes , v necks generally look much better on a large bust but that's because it draws the eye away from the bust in the direction of your waist, not because you want to "flaunt" anything which frankly sounds like a made-up observation stolen from a Daily Mail headline.

@Bellalastrasse

That’s lust and it really isn’t the thing you think it is. It’s usually accompanied by rude gestures, looks, etc that make you feel really uncomfortable and often quite threatened.

There is nothing a woman can take away from that - it’s not flattering, desirable or confidence building - quite the opposite.

Whatever you think in your mind, the reality is really not something you want.

No, I wouldn't mind being lusted upon. Women go out of their way to be lusted upon by wearing revealing clothes, flaunting their assets, putting on make up. But let's pretend we all dream of being completely asexual and invisible to the opposite sex.

@FumingFredericka

Of course they flaunt their boobs. And of course they won't admit it. Somehow they always choose a V-neck as they "look bad" in anything that doesn't show their cleavage.

Sorry this is utter horse-shit. Absolutely no one in my extensive friendship group who is well endowed "flaunts" anything. Never mind their breasts. Sounds like sexist claptrap to me.

And generally speaking, having large breasts is an absolute drag in terms of exercise and sport, trying to get clothes to fit properly, especially professional wear such as jackets, which are either too small on the bust and too big on the shoulders or vice versa. The buttons of shirts (which is what I wear under v-necked jumpers thank you very much ) gape at the front. And the larger your breasts are, the harder it is too detect any suspicious lumps that shouldn't be there during a mammogram. So it is not altogether a bundle of laughs being well endowed.

And yes , v necks generally look much better on a large bust but that's because it draws the eye away from the bust in the direction of your waist, not because you want to "flaunt" anything which frankly sounds like a made-up observation stolen from a Daily Mail headline.

But you still describe yourself as WELL endowed. As opposed to the POORLY endowed women no doubt.

But you still describe yourself as WELL endowed. As opposed to the POORLY endowed women no doubt.

Yeah, yeah. Two out of ten HappyClappy1. I'm no longer feeding the troll.

Hrpuffnstuff1 Wed 16-Feb-22 15:53:32

Hmm yes.
It is quite common for dissatisfied men in the UK to target various foreign destinations looking for a wife/partner who they think will be better than what they think UK women are like, isn't it?

I don't see that happening the other way around (women looking for foreign men) - well maybe Shirley Valentine...........

@FumingFredericka

But you still describe yourself as WELL endowed. As opposed to the POORLY endowed women no doubt.

Yeah, yeah. Two out of ten HappyClappy1. I'm no longer feeding the troll.

I literally just quoted your own words. The language we use shapes the way we think. By using phrases such as "well endowed" you are fortifying the idea that big breasts are BETTER than small breasts.

@HappyClappy1

There’s something wrong here, Happy.

It really isn’t how you think.

[quote Bellalastrasse]@HappyClappy1

There’s something wrong here, Happy.

It really isn’t how you think.[/quote]
What isn't how I think?

HappyClappy1 if you have a problem with men liking large breasts, you're not going to solve it by having a go at women with large breasts. Men are not a scarce resourse, theres no need to compete for them, compare our bodies negatively with other women's because of them, or accuse other women of unfair advantage in a game they don't even want to play.

Your responses to what we are saying about having larger breasts, for one thing.

Your assertion that they are preferable for another.

Even if it was true that men prefer them (which is not the case) who cares - why is what men like a determinant of the criteria for a woman’s body? I would love not to have ten tonnes weighing on my chest all the time.

@Bellalastrasse

Your responses to what we are saying about having larger breasts, for one thing.

Your assertion that they are preferable for another.

Even if it was true that men prefer them (which is not the case) who cares - why is what men like a determinant of the criteria for a woman’s body? I would love not to have ten tonnes weighing on my chest all the time.

Who cares? Then what's the point of this whole thread? Why do you care what men really find attractive about women?

@5128gap

HappyClappy1 if you have a problem with men liking large breasts, you're not going to solve it by having a go at women with large breasts. Men are not a scarce resourse, theres no need to compete for them, compare our bodies negatively with other women's because of them, or accuse other women of unfair advantage in a game they don't even want to play.

You are the privileged one so of course you don't mind. Of course busty women have a HUGE advantage in that game, so why shouldn't I at least have the right to complain about it? I'm not accusing anyone of anything though or having a go at anyone.

As someone said, for men 99% attraction lies in big boobs.

I'm afraid that I disagree. Studies have been done that have shown that men's eyes invariably notice a woman's eyes, smile, breasts, hair, weight, legs, clothes, bum, height and skin in that order.

Yes, breasts are quite high up (at number three) but that doesn't mean that it's only the large ones which get noticed. I know that my eyes get drawn whether large or small.

Going back to the OP's original question, I think that a PP's interview analogy is quite good. When a man first sees a woman, it's like when a recruiter first sifts through a stack of CVs. Some stand out and are called straight to interview, others get glanced at before being forgotten.

However if you bypass the first sift (so you knew the recruiter in a social capacity and got asked to interview without applying), they get to know you regardless of what their first impression of your CV was. So likewise, at the sports club the men have got to know the OP's personality and an attraction has had a chance to form which there wouldn't have been time for when passing someone in the street or swiping on Tinder - situations where looks are everything.

How confident and relaxed you are also helps, in a sports club you are all having fun together - that builds attraction too.