What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

[quote greasyshoes]@Anothergreatday

They sit their proudly with their fat bellies, floppy man bits and low quality sperm banging on about how they prefer younger women to women their age

Sorry, but where did you ever hear this?

The only men who I hear openly talking about their "preferences" are the attractive men who have lots of options.

For the rest of us who are ugly, I would never automatically rule out a woman based on some arbitrary list of "preferences."[/quote]
Ad a woman I’ve heard plenty of men in my life state a preference for younger women . I dare say many women here have too
We even had a man stating how it’s just a instinct regardless if the younger of women had less attractive features
I think ad one man it’s really not possible for you to know the experiences of women . Are you claiming men do not show a preference for younger women in media . Are you saying that most porn isn’t younger women ? ( sure there’s older women. But that’s fetish/ the exception ) Are you saying that many other men don’t prefer younger women ?

@bubblesbubbles11

"Yet we have so many fewer 50plus year old women chasing men in their early 20s"

The above is because:

• women in the 50plus bracket are (admittedly less likely in some fitness groups but still) going to look less attractive than younger women so apart from some kind of rite-of-passage thing younger men are not interested
• women in the 50plus bracket are almost always caregivers of some sort (if not for their own offspring then for some connected offspring and/or parents or extended family in a way their 50plus males are far less likely to be. This is an unattractive trait to young men who want to have fun.
• if you are 50plus and for whatever reason are totally financially independent and running your own home the way you want to, and you happen to be physically attractive so could attract younger men, what would persuade you to have an actual "live together" relationship with one? I can literally think of nothing which would persuade me to. You can have a sexual relationship without living together. A much younger woman will always bring the "potential" of children (even if the older man professes not to want them). A much younger man? Not sure I see why unless there was a really really unusual connection and chemistry.

But that doesn’t really answer the why at all because the same is true for the younger man The younger man is nearly always more physically attractive. I disagree with the carer thing . In my twenties I had children now I’m fifty and free ad a bird as are most of the women my age I know

I think we just need to accept that men are shallow and entitled but no one is allowed to actually say it

Ad a woman I’ve heard plenty of men in my life state a preference for younger women

And how many of those men were perpetually single, or unattractive?

Are you claiming men do not show a preference for younger women in media.

The world of TV doesn't reflect reality. I rarely watch TV, if ever. There is absolutely nothing to suggest that the preference for younger women on TV is a reflection of men's preferences for sexual partners in the real world.

Are you saying that most porn isn’t younger women?

Again, what makes you think porn is a true reflection of men's sexual preferences? Do you think porn companies do market research, or ask men what they want to see? Doubt it.

[quote greasyshoes]@Anothergreatday

They sit their proudly with their fat bellies, floppy man bits and low quality sperm banging on about how they prefer younger women to women their age

Sorry, but where did you ever hear this?

The only men who I hear openly talking about their "preferences" are the attractive men who have lots of options.

For the rest of us who are ugly, I would never automatically rule out a woman based on some arbitrary list of "preferences."[/quote]
Also , are you admitting that men when given options will chose younger
Because that is literally confirming exactly what I’m saying

Men WANT younger but take what they can get

@greasyshoes

Ad a woman I’ve heard plenty of men in my life state a preference for younger women

And how many of those men were perpetually single, or unattractive?

Are you claiming men do not show a preference for younger women in media.

The world of TV doesn't reflect reality. I rarely watch TV, if ever. There is absolutely nothing to suggest that the preference for younger women on TV is a reflection of men's preferences for sexual partners in the real world.

Are you saying that most porn isn’t younger women?

Again, what makes you think porn is a true reflection of men's sexual preferences? Do you think porn companies do market research, or ask men what they want to see? Doubt it.

Your first point once again confirms what I’m saying

So men who are perpetually single and unattractive take what they can get but when given the chance men will almost always go for younger
Many yes porn caters to what sells and for men , youth sells
Same with any media

@greasyshoes
Mel you think the majority of men want to see older women and are disappointed by the 18-25 year olds in porn lol
And that the porn industry had it all wrong huh
Amazing that is

@greasyshoes

Also what do you say about the very large study that was done that showed men regardless of their age preferred women under 22 . That was regardless of whether the man was 22 , 42 or 82 ?
Women on the other hand had age preference for men that aged with them

‘ Again, what makes you think porn is a true reflection of men's sexual preferences? Do you think porn companies do market research, or ask men what they want to see? Doubt it.’

Porn companies know which videos are liked the mists and watched the most and yes they have huge amounts of data on what men watch and like !

I'm reading all this and as a single 46 year old woman, who's 5'3, a 'fat' size 6 (yes there is such a thing as a fat slim person), extremely unattractive, no boobs and not curvy - I may as well just crawl up into a ball and die .....

"Also what do you say about the very large study that was done that showed men regardless of their age preferred women under 22 . That was regardless of whether the man was 22 , 42 or 82"

So depressing but so so true.
Men basically want to fu*k young women. They are not interested in them as people. They want sex and that is more or less it. And it does not change with age, indeed it just shows up in different ways as they get older. And even when there is a question about whether they might need some kind of humane care in their old age, they would still swap that out for the fleeting opportunity to have sex with a much younger person.

I really think the above is how it is.

@DirtyDancing - I just laughed so hard reading this that I woke up the cat 😂

And this is why I hope that artificial intelligence delivers on male sex drive.
And then only men who intentionally want to pro create with a human female and continue their genes will.

@bubblesbubbles11

"Also what do you say about the very large study that was done that showed men regardless of their age preferred women under 22 . That was regardless of whether the man was 22 , 42 or 82"

So depressing but so so true.
Men basically want to fu*k young women. They are not interested in them as people. They want sex and that is more or less it. And it does not change with age, indeed it just shows up in different ways as they get older. And even when there is a question about whether they might need some kind of humane care in their old age, they would still swap that out for the fleeting opportunity to have sex with a much younger person.

I really think the above is how it is.

It is depressing and then you get men like who will try and gaslight women and say it’s not true when they know it is …. Had to remind myself some men just enjoy gaslighting

@bubblesbubbles11

And this is why I hope that artificial intelligence delivers on male sex drive. And then only men who intentionally want to pro create with a human female and continue their genes will.

Yes and hopefully women having seen how men really feel will hold them to a much higher standard and only procreate with those who decent people

So men who are perpetually single and unattractive take what they can get but when given the chance men will almost always go for younger

I took issue with your comment that such "preferences" come from ugly men. In my experience, it's only attractive or handsome men who have lots of choices who openly talk about their preferences.

I don't reject the idea that most men have a preference for younger women, but what you misunderstand is that it's a very soft preference in the majority of cases. It doesn't mean that men automatically like a woman just for being younger, or that men automatically dislike women just for being older. The overwhelming majority of men wouldn't turn down a lovely woman just for being over a certain age.

As for the studies while women are ovulating, maybe when questioned about it during a study the results suggest they are more attracted to a certain type of man... but in real life that's not how women decide that they fancy someone or are attracted to them, sometimes a woman will fancy a man straight away, but other times they get to know them or they see them around and the attraction grows from there. I've never known a woman in real life whose taste in men flip flopped according to whether they were ovulating or not.

My taste in men doesn't change, but the boundaries become looser. I've certainly made some unwise decisions and slept with at least one man I wouldn't have if I hadn't been ovulating.

@Anothergreatday

The overwhelming majority of men prefer women under 22 . That’s what the data says

As I already said in my previous comment, it's a very soft preference.

I realise that you told everyone in another thread you don’t read and don’t believe in books and research but unfortunately research and actual stets trump your theory

I didn't say I don't read.
I didn't say I don't believe in books.
I didn't say I don't believe in research either.

I said I don't need to read "research" on pornography because I have plenty of information from my own life.

The overwhelming majority of men prefer women under 22 . That’s what the data says

Conclusions from the same study…

“The findings show that despite older men finding much younger women extremely attractive, they were highly unlikely to actually message any of them on an online dating site.

Men will most often message women actually closer to their own age.

The figures suggest that there is a clear distinction between physical, sexual desire, and the connection men crave from actually interacting with a woman who has a similar level of maturity.”

Anothergreatday Tue 15-Feb-22 23:52:26

Exactly. Could not have put it better.

And… both younger men and younger women are more fertile
Yet we have so many fewer 50plus year old women chasing men in their early 20s
Hmmmm

For a woman in her fifties the boat has passed, it doesn't matter how fertile the man is, there won't be conception.

For a man in his fifties though, it's likely that he's still capable of fathering a child, which is more likely to be successful with a younger woman.

@DdraigGoch

And… both younger men and younger women are more fertile Yet we have so many fewer 50plus year old women chasing men in their early 20s Hmmmm

For a woman in her fifties the boat has passed, it doesn't matter how fertile the man is, there won't be conception.

For a man in his fifties though, it's likely that he's still capable of fathering a child, which is more likely to be successful with a younger woman.

Yes even though society doesn’t me too his de line in sperm quality and increased likelihood of issues

@greasyshoes

‘
I don't reject the idea that most men have a preference for younger women, but what you misunderstand is that it's a very soft preference in the majority of cases. It doesn't mean that men automatically like a woman just for being younger, or that men automatically dislike women just for being older. The overwhelming majority of men wouldn't turn down a lovely woman just for being over a certain agE’

Absolute nonsense . Tell it to the many women who get left for younger women

If a man had a choice between a 30 year old and a 60 yr old woman who are both attractive and interested in him he will almost always choose the 30 yr old
Don’t tell women that me. Don’t reject then for being too old
Men set their perimeters on dating apps to reject women THEIR SAME age for being ‘ too old all the time !
That’s not a soft preference

And by the way you did say you didn’t read !