What do men actually find attractive about women?

[kellyspark]

After being divorced after a long marriage (adultery, his) I have started to cotton onto the fact that a lot of men like certain attributes about women that are quite surprising to me.
In a sporting hobby, some men have shown interest in me - flirting - but I wasn't ready for dating, so have treated them more like mates. This seems to have increased their attention, so I infer that they either like the chase, or they cannot figure out why I'm not flirting back and want to find out why I'm not.
Another thing seems to be that men don't automatically go for the most glamourous looking woman in a group. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but wondering if men worry about women being 'high maintenance' or maybe they think glam women are out of their league?

[quote HowlongWillThisTakeNow]Do you think younger men are more attractive than your age ?

I know this question is not aimed at me, or even if I have understood it correctly, but I think a lot of women would find. 32 yrs old man more attractive than a 52 year old man, as borne out to some degree by a couple of recent threads on this site.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4479495-Sex-with-a-younger-man[/quote]
Perhaps objectively they might but the question is more about whether the youth itself is more attractive ( not the appearance ) just like the poster said
Would most women find a 32 yr old man more attractive than a 52 yr old man simply because he is younger even if he is less attractive than the older man ?

My theory is that the old "It's like something hijacks the reptilian part of your brain, I guess it's just the biggest indicator of fertility? As you say, they can often have less attractive features but yet they're still somehow more attractive"

is a thing, and the cause of it is very very basic - namely that younger women in their late teens and early twenties send off the most noticeable non verbal signals (and pheromones) around their cycle and their fertility.

I say that as a woman (who is somewhat beyond that stage).
Its not something I admire about men in any way but I have observed it time and again.

Lpc3 says that women in their early to mid twenties are more attractive even if they have less attractive features simply because they are young
In cases where women say younger men are more attractive it is literally because They are physically more attractive ! Ir in better shape , have their hair , toned bodies etc

@bubblesbubbles11

My theory is that the old "It's like something hijacks the reptilian part of your brain, I guess it's just the biggest indicator of fertility? As you say, they can often have less attractive features but yet they're still somehow more attractive"

is a thing, and the cause of it is very very basic - namely that younger women in their late teens and early twenties send off the most noticeable non verbal signals (and pheromones) around their cycle and their fertility.

I say that as a woman (who is somewhat beyond that stage).
Its not something I admire about men in any way but I have observed it time and again.

The biological argument falls flat when one looks at the science Men are more fertile and have higher quality sperm when younger too . You don’t see women chasing teens and men in their early twenties Not to mention other holes in the biological argument of which their are many This theory would have women using sperm competition’ to get the superior conception partner You don’t see most women sleeping with multiple men when wanting to fall pregnant in the hopes of the superior male sperm impregnating her Men are socialised and conditioned to younger women and there’s also a big power dynamic at play , that appeals especially to certain types of men

Would most women find a 32 yr old man more attractive than a 52 yr old man simply because he is younger even if he is less attractive than the older man ?

So are you saying is a trim, slim & stylish 52 yr old more attractive than an overweight 32 yr old?

@Anothergreatday

Lpc3 says that women in their early to mid twenties are more attractive even if they have less attractive features simply because they are young In cases where women say younger men are more attractive it is literally because They are physically more attractive ! Ir in better shape , have their hair , toned bodies etc

I agree with this. Younger men are typically more physically attractive than older men simply because they look better. Their youth in itself is often more of a deterrent to older women than an attraction.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Would most women find a 32 yr old man more attractive than a 52 yr old man simply because he is younger even if he is less attractive than the older man ?

So are you saying is a trim, slim & stylish 52 yr old more attractive than an overweight 32 yr old?

Depends if I’m 32 or 52 . I want a partner close in age but generally speaking I don’t find the fact that the 33 yr old is younger better If I were 32 and had those two in from of me I’d go looking for a slim stylish 33 ish yr old man

Another

"Men are more fertile and have higher quality sperm when younger too . You don’t see women chasing teens and men in their early twenties"

of course there is some truth in the cliche that women, especially those who perceive pregnancy and having a very young child as a likely vulnerable time in their life (which arguably for many it is) will go for men who either overtly display material wealth (i.e. can provide for the baby and indirectly her) and/or overtly display physical strength (ability to defend).

It is naff to me tho that (call me a misandrist but I am saying it how i see it) that men literally "sniff" women out who they want to have sex with but oftentimes any serious consequences (pregnancy, the idea of providing) literally horrify them (and i am not just talking younger men, I think men of all ages are resistant to the idea of pregnancy purely from a responsibility point of view not that they are adverse to having loadsa offspring, just so long as they dont have to take responsibility for the offspring etc)

@5128gap

Exactly

@bubblesbubbles11

Another

"Men are more fertile and have higher quality sperm when younger too . You don’t see women chasing teens and men in their early twenties"

of course there is some truth in the cliche that women, especially those who perceive pregnancy and having a very young child as a likely vulnerable time in their life (which arguably for many it is) will go for men who either overtly display material wealth (i.e. can provide for the baby and indirectly her) and/or overtly display physical strength (ability to defend).

It is naff to me tho that (call me a misandrist but I am saying it how i see it) that men literally "sniff" women out who they want to have sex with but oftentimes any serious consequences (pregnancy, the idea of providing) literally horrify them (and i am not just talking younger men, I think men of all ages are resistant to the idea of pregnancy purely from a responsibility point of view not that they are adverse to having loadsa offspring, just so long as they dont have to take responsibility for the offspring etc)

Yes agree Makes it hard to respect men like that . Use women up and treat them like commodities

"Would most women find a 32 yr old man more attractive than a 52 yr old man simply because he is younger even if he is less attractive than the older man ?"

I honestly believe that if you eliminated all concerns about physical and material provision for a woman where there is a risk if she has sex that she might get pregnant (for example women somehow were given equal unlimited financial and material support by society in the event of any pregnancy at any time) then, apart from some women who have very idealistic views about wanting older "father figures" for their children, there would be a very significant number of women of all ages who would pick the younger fitter men to have sex with over the older (potentially more wealthy) men.

Remove the financial inequalities and women are more likely to move towards the factors older men take into account (the younger the woman the better) etc.

And it really is a thing that a healthy 32 year old male is less likely to carry the risk of passing genetic abnormalities etc to their child than say a (not unhealthy) 52 year old or 62 year old male father of a newborn. So there is reason to pick the younger male right there.

Nah I'm not having the men are socialized.
It's visual only.

I'm not so sure about the power dynamic between men and women in relationships. There is however a power dynamic between men.

@bubblesbubbles11

"Would most women find a 32 yr old man more attractive than a 52 yr old man simply because he is younger even if he is less attractive than the older man ?"

I honestly believe that if you eliminated all concerns about physical and material provision for a woman where there is a risk if she has sex that she might get pregnant (for example women somehow were given equal unlimited financial and material support by society in the event of any pregnancy at any time) then, apart from some women who have very idealistic views about wanting older "father figures" for their children, there would be a very significant number of women of all ages who would pick the younger fitter men to have sex with over the older (potentially more wealthy) men.

Remove the financial inequalities and women are more likely to move towards the factors older men take into account (the younger the woman the better) etc.

And it really is a thing that a healthy 32 year old male is less likely to carry the risk of passing genetic abnormalities etc to their child than say a (not unhealthy) 52 year old or 62 year old male father of a newborn. So there is reason to pick the younger male right there.

Oh crap, no more sex for me then 😂😂

Collectively, 25 years old are more generally physically attractive as a group than 55 year olds. Meaning, if you take a mixed group of 100 25 year old men and women, there will be more generally attractive individuals in that group than there would be in a mixed group of 100 55 year old men and women.

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Nah I'm not having the men are socialized. It's visual only.

I'm not so sure about the power dynamic between men and women in relationships. There is however a power dynamic between men.

How can you not be sure about power imbalances between genders when women have been economically disadvantaged by pregnancy and motherhood in ways that men never are Also if it’s ‘ just visual’ why does it only seem to affect men . Why are women not chasing men who we have just discussed are also more fertile and produce better sperm when younger

@samyeagar

Collectively, 25 years old are more generally physically attractive as a group than 55 year olds. Meaning, if you take a mixed group of 100 25 year old men and women, there will be more generally attractive individuals in that group than there would be in a mixed group of 100 55 year old men and women.

And… both younger men and younger women are more fertile Yet we have so many fewer 50plus year old women chasing men in their early 20s Hmmmm

@samyeagar

Collectively, 25 years old are more generally physically attractive as a group than 55 year olds. Meaning, if you take a mixed group of 100 25 year old men and women, there will be more generally attractive individuals in that group than there would be in a mixed group of 100 55 year old men and women.

I don't think anyone would argue with that. However I also think, in fact I'm sure, that if you took 100 55 year old men and 100 55 year old women, there would be far more attractive individuals in the second group than the first. Yet still old men go on about how they prefer young women, when realistically most of them are punching above their weight with their same age partners. I'm sure they do find young women more attractive, but unless they are rather exceptional, well that just too bad for them. If they had any sense at all they'd keep it to themselves and appreciate any woman who'd have them. And keep their fingers crossed that the social stigma around women dating younger continues, so they get a look in at all.

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Also if you think the whole of society and men in particular are not socialised to think they deserve young hot chicks then you clearly havnt looked at the huge discrepancies in how men and women are represented in media . How much older men are paired with stage wives . So much porn that’s the same
To believe these things don’t influence people is extremely naive
Not even to start with the history and many many cultures that actively encourage much older men to take younger wives
Women have been highly judged on their fertility/ age and treated like breeding cattle throughout history and that legacy continues …. That’s socialisation !

@5128gap

Lol
Yes indeed the absolute entitlement if most of them gets me . They sit their proudly with their fat bellies, floppy man bits and low quality sperm banging on about how they prefer younger women to women their age
Then they are all shocked no woman their age even gives them a look in . I don’t want some dude that’s chasing his daughters friends what a turd among men Yuk

"I'm not so sure about the power dynamic between men and women in relationships. There is however a power dynamic between men."

I assume you say the above speaking as a man?
Maybe i am wrong there.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow Tue 15-Feb-22 22:04:50

!
Are you male perchance??
Fear not, I cannot see the current society sexual construct changing any time soon. ie there will never be a foreseeable situation where financial dynamics do not significantly influence women into picking older more wealthy males.

My only caveat there is.... sometimes I wonder whether artificial intelligence might get ahead of itself in my lifetime where start ups (originating from the patriachy) manage to commercial female sex dolls so life-like (even catering to all 5 senses and with tailored "intelligence" that a significant proportion of men opt for them instead of a more nuanced an challenging in a human way relationship with a real female (which results in human offspring).
Sexual dynamics betgween men and women could take a real turn at that point.
Maybe I am off into scifi there - time for sleep methinks.

@Anothergreatday

They sit their proudly with their fat bellies, floppy man bits and low quality sperm banging on about how they prefer younger women to women their age

Sorry, but where did you ever hear this?

The only men who I hear openly talking about their "preferences" are the attractive men who have lots of options.

For the rest of us who are ugly, I would never automatically rule out a woman based on some arbitrary list of "preferences."

@bubblesbubbles11
Yes I’m male, (52, slim, trim & arthritic) I’m more interested in women my age then younger & in fact I’m currently seeing someone older than me by a couple of years, so she is sleeping with a younger man !,

@AnyFucker

Tits, mainly

No no no. There are of course two types. Tits and Arse.

Arse is more in vogue at present.

Then there are sub types: lips and eyes.

And finally: petit or curvy.

Follow the flow chart

"Yet we have so many fewer 50plus year old women chasing men in their early 20s"

The above is because:

• women in the 50plus bracket are (admittedly less likely in some fitness groups but still) going to look less attractive than younger women so apart from some kind of rite-of-passage thing younger men are not interested
• women in the 50plus bracket are almost always caregivers of some sort (if not for their own offspring then for some connected offspring and/or parents or extended family in a way their 50plus males are far less likely to be. This is an unattractive trait to young men who want to have fun.
• if you are 50plus and for whatever reason are totally financially independent and running your own home the way you want to, and you happen to be physically attractive so could attract younger men, what would persuade you to have an actual "live together" relationship with one? I can literally think of nothing which would persuade me to. You can have a sexual relationship without living together. A much younger woman will always bring the "potential" of children (even if the older man professes not to want them). A much younger man? Not sure I see why unless there was a really really unusual connection and chemistry.