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Original poster

If your husband wrote this about you, how would you feel?

156 replies

CupOfNiceTea · 09/02/2022 13:44

”After 18 years of marriage and 3 kids she’s still the sexiest woman to walk on this planet. Her hair is fucking amazing, her boobs and ass are hot as fuck, she’s amazing curves and the sexiest legs. This morning around 3:30am she went to the toilet and came back and grabbed my hand and we held hands while sleeping. She’ll always kiss me goodbye or welcome me with a kiss (and our teenagers go ewww lol), and I love pampering this woman. She loves me blow drying and brushing her hair, shaving her legs and doing her nails. I’m always so happy when she’s around, I’m so in love with her.”

What is your reaction to this?

OP posts:
Kdubs1981 · 09/02/2022 15:28
Original poster
CupOfNiceTea · 09/02/2022 15:34

@BellatricksStrange

Admittedly, I’m not married, but shouldn’t there be much more (anything else) to marriage than finding them sexy?
What does that has to do with love?

Maybe I’m afraid that this is what it looks like to be in a relationship with a man.
No substance.

OP posts:
Tamworth123 · 09/02/2022 15:38

It's sort of the relationship/marriage version of UK punting reviews which generally cover;

Tips
Arse
Vulva/vagina (he just couldn't put that on a relationships board)
Overall figure
Face
Skin
Sexual performance/skills
Attitude/Pleasantness

They do see women as dolls

In his case the grooming her is kind of sex doll like as well.

Tamworth123 · 09/02/2022 15:39

*tits, obviously

Pluvia · 09/02/2022 15:40

I'd feel absolutely sickened it it was written about me, OP. It would be grounds for divorce. Because apparently what he loves about his wife is her body, and her body will change and possibly no longer be what he regards as sexy.

I suspect this is how a great many men view their wives. Objects, not actual interesting, intelligent, complicated people with their own inner and independent lives. Just curves and legs and breasts that arouse them. Yuck.

Original poster
CupOfNiceTea · 09/02/2022 15:41

It's sort of the relationship/marriage version of UK punting

I hate to be reminded of that place.

OP posts:
Tamworth123 · 09/02/2022 15:42

It does exaom why a significant portion of men leave their wives of 10 or 20 yrs, and mothers of their kids for younger women since their wife is no longer meeting doll standards.

Affection, familiarity, respect, love, history, family life , personality, shared experience, emotional intimacy..... fuck all that, I want a doll thst meets certain standards.

Mylittlepixie · 09/02/2022 15:51

I think its sweet. I mean, just because he didnt write several pages about her personality doesnt mean that her looks is the only thing he likes about her.

5128gap · 09/02/2022 15:56

Its horrible and completely lacking in authenticity. Sounds like the main character in a rubbish rom com doing that talking to the audience thing 'I'm Jed, and this here is Maya, and, I know what you're thinking...what does she see in me, right?...'

PerryMasonsFriend · 09/02/2022 15:57

It’s so shallow, has nothing to do with who his wife is.

This. it's all about sex and what she looks like basically. The other stuff is so minimal it doesn't alter the core sentiment - which is the primary purpose of my wife is to please me visually. Oh and be my breeder.

Fairylightsongs · 09/02/2022 16:00

Eugh, if have assumed that was one of the realistic sex dolls.

user1481840227 · 09/02/2022 16:04

[quote CupOfNiceTea]@BellatricksStrange

Admittedly, I’m not married, but shouldn’t there be much more (anything else) to marriage than finding them sexy?
What does that has to do with love?

Maybe I’m afraid that this is what it looks like to be in a relationship with a man.
No substance.[/quote]
It's extremely worrying that you get a little glimpse of someones thoughts on their partner and then assume you know it all about their relationship and that you interpret it as having no substance.

He said more than that she was sexy.
They held hands while sleeping and he really appreciated that. That clearly suggests love.
They are affectionate with each other.
He said he loves to pamper her.
He said he's so happy when she's around and also that he's so in love with her.

Lots of things related to love there.

Any time there are threads on here about women with good men who actually have happy relationships or asking what their partners do to make them feel loved it's often little things like he makes me a cup of tea or buys me my favourite chocolate........

sometimes people say he's a good dad, good in bed, makes them happy, I don't think anyone has ever written a big long in depth list of absolutely everything in the relationship that makes them love their partner or that makes their relationship strong.

It's often just an expression that they are very in love, still fancy the pants off him and then small little things in the relationship that mean a lot.

but we can read between the lines. you wouldn't say oh right so you just have sex and he makes you a cup of tea....there must be more to marriage!

VioletLemon · 09/02/2022 16:06

It's the script of a soft porn in development. That's my first reaction.

Carryonmarion · 09/02/2022 16:14

I get the discomfort around this type of post and don't see it as flattering. My friend's husband has form for this sort of stuff on Facebook and Instagram, not quite as cringey maybe but similar & sometimes accompanied by close up shots of my friend's body parts and congratulating her for losing weight Hmm. I don't particularly like it as I think she was great before too, and there is so much more to her.
I think it's a kind of virtue signalling"look at how happy we are" and it tends to attract "couple goals" kind of comments which I think feeds his behaviour. They could be seen as quite an unconventional couple in that he is 10 years or so younger than her and lived with his mum when they first met, whereas she has an established career earns a lot more and had her own house, car etc and I think this has something to do with it as he has told me that they don't talk to his brother due to some negative comments about their age/ wealth. Although he is quite pleasant in real life this online performance puts me off him as I feel he is kind of controlling my friend by co-opting her into his online image and I wonder how he would react if she refused to cooperate or put weight on.

TheresSomebodyAtTheDoorNeil · 09/02/2022 16:16

Id cringe so hard my face would cave in

Kdubs1981 · 09/02/2022 16:30

@TheresSomebodyAtTheDoorNeil

Id cringe so hard my face would cave in
🤣
FrangipaniBlue · 09/02/2022 16:32

The only person I know who posts shite like that about his wife doesn't go home after "lads nights out" - over compensating.

MissMaple82 · 09/02/2022 16:37

Why the F Does he shave his wife's legs!?!... I'd feel embarrassed to F##k

BellatricksStrange · 09/02/2022 16:43

[quote CupOfNiceTea]@BellatricksStrange

Admittedly, I’m not married, but shouldn’t there be much more (anything else) to marriage than finding them sexy?
What does that has to do with love?

Maybe I’m afraid that this is what it looks like to be in a relationship with a man.
No substance.[/quote]
But he didn't say that though. He was talking about one aspect of their relationship, the physical desire. That's the one that very often goes down as the years pass and the spouses age (so both familiarity and less-attractive bodies), yet this husband still has the hots for his wife.

Obviously if a wife would ask her husband what he likes about her after 20 years of marriage, and he could only come up with 'nice boobs', that would be sad. But on its own, for a husband to find his wife attractive and to be head over heels into her after 20 years, is heartwarming.

Original poster
CupOfNiceTea · 09/02/2022 16:53

Thanks BellatricksStrange
I guess it’s good to hear other pov’s, but can’t say my mind has been changed.
Every relationship is of course different, glad that this one isin’t mine.

OP posts:
PainterMummy · 09/02/2022 16:54

Well, if you don’t want him, I’ll have him!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/02/2022 16:54

But on its own, for a husband to find his wife attractive and to be head over heels into her after 20 years, is heartwarming.

The way you've worded it there would indeed be a heartwarming thing. But it's the wording people have taken issue with as it's all very objectifying.

Also, are you a bloke? If so, you're basically telling a group of women (who have almost all shared the same reaction to this) that their reaction is wrong.

Whereas it might be more sensible to think that if a large majority of strangers seem to share the same view, maybe there's something in it...

NewtoHolland · 09/02/2022 16:55

It sounds like something from a badly written online novelist to be honest.

user1481840227 · 09/02/2022 17:03

@youvegottenminuteslynn

But on its own, for a husband to find his wife attractive and to be head over heels into her after 20 years, is heartwarming.

The way you've worded it there would indeed be a heartwarming thing. But it's the wording people have taken issue with as it's all very objectifying.

Also, are you a bloke? If so, you're basically telling a group of women (who have almost all shared the same reaction to this) that their reaction is wrong.

Whereas it might be more sensible to think that if a large majority of strangers seem to share the same view, maybe there's something in it...

Posts like that are also really common on reddit. Humble brag posts, spouse appreciation posts etc.

Within the reddit subculture it is entirely normal to post things like that.

Mumsnet is an entirely different vibe. That poster who responded on reddit earlier was clearly a MN user who went straight from this thread to that one to type a comment.

That post would not go down well with MN but it does on reddit.
The same goes for many other things on reddit and MN.

This group of women you're talking about is a group of MN women, if that post was discussed elsewhere the group of women could say otherwise!

violetmonster · 09/02/2022 17:14

I suppose if the point of the post is that he finds her sexy then that's why he's talking about it and it's a good thing he finds his wife sexy but why does anyone else have to know? Seems like something that's totally unnecessary to share