If your husband wrote this about you, how would you feel?

[CupOfNiceTea]

”After 18 years of marriage and 3 kids she’s still the sexiest woman to walk on this planet. Her hair is fucking amazing, her boobs and ass are hot as fuck, she’s amazing curves and the sexiest legs. This morning around 3:30am she went to the toilet and came back and grabbed my hand and we held hands while sleeping. She’ll always kiss me goodbye or welcome me with a kiss (and our teenagers go ewww lol), and I love pampering this woman. She loves me blow drying and brushing her hair, shaving her legs and doing her nails. I’m always so happy when she’s around, I’m so in love with her.”

What is your reaction to this?

It's purely physical. Nothing about her character. Weirdo man.

@suckingonchillidogs and if you read it again.... it'll be in his voice!

It's just about how she looks. I'd hope my SO would not be so shallow. It's clear he fancies her (which is good) but it's pretty shallow.

I'd feel quite insulted if someone wrote that about me. I want to hear how clever I am, how funny, interesting and what a lovely person and parent I am too. How amazing. Not just about my hair and boobs.

I'm afraid I'd somewhat purse my lips in a very British Edwardian manner if that popped up on any social media I was perusing for recipes.

If it was a private message, then I wouldn't see it, so my opinion is irrelevant.

I would struggle to swallow the little bit of sick that came up into my mouth.

Shaving someone's legs and blow-drying their hair, Yeeeuuuccch.

Do many men waffle on about their wife's amazing hair?

Revolting. How sad that marriage must be if this is all he has to say about his wife. I'm sure she has a lot more going for her than her "hot as fuck" boobs and ass.

Found on a marriage board? I reckon the wife:

A) exists but is like everyone's wife, not a supermodel
B) he's lying through his teeth about his marriage
C) he'd drop her like a hot stone if she wasn't a 'stunna' and met his expectations
D) she doesn't actually exist
E) he's on the mooch by hinting what a marvellous husband he is

@Natty13

If it wasn't for the bit about the boobs and ass I'd say it was actually written about his dog tbh.

Now that you mention it…….

@PlasticPlantsDontDie

I’d buy him a blow up doll and a girl’s world then find someone who liked me for my personality

Thank you Plants.

It's revolting, & I don't think anybody's actual husband wrote that drivel.
If they did - divorce the twat, is how I'd feel.

Boak!

Horrible and delusional, no-one says 'my wife is the sexiest person on the planet' unless they are seeking attention from others (unless perhaps they are married to Halle Berry). As for shaving your legs- why? It's not even helpful!!!! The complete fetishisation of the wife as an object and not as an actual real person.

I'd throw up. Then divorce the weirdo.

Yuk.
I think he sounds controlling.

I'd be mega surprised if my husband said any of that about me I'd assume he'd lost his rocker!

Vomit inducing 🤢

I’d buy him a blow up doll and a girl’s world then find someone who liked me for my personality

What @PlasticPlantsDontDie said! I can’t imagine my DH writing such objectifying drivel and thinking that it’s going to be well received. It is fine if between a couple they like to share their personal grooming regime but the rest of us don’t need to know about it thanks. It does sound like a show off insta post to say “I’m a lad but a cool husband too, aren’t I great and all sorted with my life”. It would give me the ick!

Meh...I'd wonder if he'd ever had one decent conversation with me that whole time.

If pressed hard, my DH might say, oh yeah, she's got quite good hair, I suppose.
That would be it. He's got quite good hair too.
we don't gush

I would think maybe she's disabled? I have fluctuating mobility issues and sometimes have to have my hair washed etc. Although if I'm that bad leg shaving drops off the to-do list first!
I can't imagine why you would prefer someone else shave your legs otherwise though?

@Rodion

I'm a bit cynical so i'd say that sounds like it was written for other people to read in a showy off way. Whilst it may be about his wife, it's really a me me me piece designed so that everyone who reads it feels terribly moved and impressed by his wonderful marriage and husband skills. That's how I perceive it anyway, happy to be corrected though!

I may be cynical too, but I agree with you @Rodion. I once worked with a man who spoke about his wife like this. He was also shagging every willing female he could find.

Did your husband write it or is it some anonymous random on a board you were reading?

I’d assume the author was either
a) Having a manic episode
b) A creep

I am a man btw, and it gives me the ick, unless it’s a), in which case I’d be understanding.

And tbh I found the use of “ass” instead of “arse” quite triggering.

Ew.