Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I went to the cinema myself in the spirit of 'being all I need' but I feel so flat.

122 replies

inthevernacular · 28/01/2022 22:48

I keep reading advice that says I need to make myself happy and live life to the fullest etc on my own.

I'm really struggling with online dating so I thought maybe this year I would try this, and work up to going on holiday on my own.

I don't know, I thought I would feel empowered and brave. I just still seemed to be the only one sitting alone in amongst all these couples.

I don't really know why I'm posting, but please just don't say meetup or hillwalking groups.

OP posts:
jay55 · 28/01/2022 22:51

I go to the cinema alone, a lot, but not at the times people would be there on dates.
There are usually a few people sat alone when I go on a weekend morning. Or just after work.

LeQuern · 28/01/2022 22:53

Agree, midweek matinee solo visits to the movies is Gods Own Work. My idea of total heaven.

purpleme12 · 28/01/2022 22:53

Aren't you doing it for for the wrong purpose?
It sounds like you're doing it because you're supposed to be able to go and enjoy it on your own and that's what people say. If you get me
When really you should be going just cos you want to go to the cinema
If that makes sense

RedCandyApple · 28/01/2022 22:53

Honestly as much as people on here
Say they go to cinema alone all the time or dinner alone... I wouldn’t, And don’t know anyone who does.

Pepperama · 28/01/2022 22:54

I know exactly what you mean. I don’t enjoy going for lone meals or drinks. I just feel like no one else is there on their own and I feel self conscious. And hard to I'm not by my lonesome out of choice…

emilyintheSE · 28/01/2022 22:55

I love going to the cinema on my own!

Honestly, no one else in the cinema gives two fucks whether you're on your own or not. They're busy with their own lives. Trust me!

Hbh17 · 28/01/2022 22:56

I have been married for a long time, but usually go to the cinema by myself I love it. I go to see the film, why do I need to have someone with me when I'm sitting in the dark & paying attention to the screen? Just do the things you enjoy - you don't need a partner.

MaryAndHerNet · 28/01/2022 22:58

Sod the cinema. Sitting in the dark with a load of people and paying out the arse for the priveldge.

Nah. Get thee to a decent cafe and have yersen a proper slap up breakfast or lunch a decent coffee. Take a book. Be waited on. Be served. And enjoy the peace.

FloatyBoaty · 28/01/2022 22:58

@RedCandyApple

Whaaaat?! I’m going tomorrow! I want to see Parallel Mothers and nobody else I know is into Spanish cinema so….

I’ve always done it, since I was at uni, both when I’ve had a partner and when I’ve been single.

Bloody love solo cinema.

purpleme12 · 28/01/2022 23:00

@floatyboaty
I don't mind going by myself either
If I want to go I'll go
But I'm into Spanish stuff! I would love to go see that!

Fittleswade · 28/01/2022 23:02

I go to the cinema alone all the time and love it, much prefer it to going with someone. But I'm utterly with you on the bloody hillwalking/meet-up advice.

LeQuern · 28/01/2022 23:02

@RedCandyApple

Honestly as much as people on here Say they go to cinema alone all the time or dinner alone... I wouldn’t, And don’t know anyone who does.
I do! Hi!

Been doing it about 15 years. Bloody lovely it is! And now you can say you know someone who does it.

Original poster
inthevernacular · 28/01/2022 23:03

Well I did want to go, and Friday night suits me... I am at work on Wednesday afternoons!

I felt a bit lonely when I was laughing and I also felt strangely self conscious- there were people on either side so I felt like I was sitting up straight and not encroaching on their space.

OP posts:
sweepthenmop · 28/01/2022 23:03

I love going to the cinema on my own too. Mid week matinee, absolutely heaven

But I go because I want to, not because I think I should.
What do you like doing OP? Phone a friend, join a walking group, book a holiday?
You don't need a partner to live a full and interesting life, but you do need to decide what you'll enjoy that is fun and interesting.

SausageSoupSaturday · 28/01/2022 23:05

Well. If you didn't enjoy it, perhaps you can take yourself somewhere else and try something else next time? After all, it is totally up to you. It could be a fun learning curve, finding what you do and don't enjoy doing alone. You'd get to know yourself better, too. There's nothing you 'should' enjoy alone, but I am certain there are things you WILL enjoy alone! Once you've tried a few things and found your stride!

Keladrythesaviour · 28/01/2022 23:05

I love going to the cinema alone! It's better than going with friends or partner. It's a truly immersive experience, you can just watch the film and think about what YOU think and what YOU feel. I think it takes practice though, don't give up after one go. Think about what you enjoy - I love a good sad film. I buy a cup of tea, and huge box of popcorn all to myself. I make sure I'm not in a rush. I wear comfy clothes. I just make it a total me time and don't look at anyone else, just think about the darkness and the film and its content.

LizzieMacQueen · 28/01/2022 23:06

The thing I'd miss is the chatting about the film afterwards.

MrsIglesias · 28/01/2022 23:07

Nothing to add but want to say that I relate and i want to give you a hug. And well done for doing it, it's brave and i think very cool.

mealdeal20 · 28/01/2022 23:12

I know you said don't suggest meet ups ect. .... BUT I'm not suggesting them to meet a man! There's something really helpful about making friends as an adult and meting people who are in the same stage of life as you. I joined bumble bff and can honestly say it changes my life. I met other women in their late 30's who wanted to do things like go to the cinema and it took the pressure off enough that I almost immediately had more success on the dating front

Lolamento · 28/01/2022 23:12

I would go to the cinema or lunch by myself and enjoy. However, online dating would never do so there you go.

RedCandyApple · 28/01/2022 23:13

Yes I’m sure people on MN do but I’ve never known anyone to do it irl. It’s not something I’ve ever done and would feel awkward/embarrassed going alone.

FloatyBoaty · 28/01/2022 23:15

@RedCandyApple

Why would you be embarrassed? Do you think I should be? I assure you… I’m not.

Original poster
inthevernacular · 28/01/2022 23:15

Thank you. I had a little cry when I came in and I feel better Blush

I think the problem is that all my bloody time is me time.

OP posts:
ZaphodDent · 28/01/2022 23:16

I've always thought it's a bit of a strange thing to do with other people to be honest. Arranging to spend time with people when you're not looking at them or talking to them? Cinema should be a solitary activity. People who go with other people are just weird! Try not to laugh at them next time you go by yourself.

LoveMyPiano · 28/01/2022 23:16

I have done it twice - it is not something I particularly enjoyed but I didn't let the fact tha so-one else wanted to see the film stop me from going. The irst is so long ago - the film was "Ordinary People"; I seem to remember that I was the only person there. And a few years ago, I went to see "Balck Swan", and the ticket collector was looking for a second ticket/companion as I came towards them, so explaining that it was only me was fun (not).

Many MANY years ago, I went friend to see Alien, and it was almost standing room only. We were seated separately, so might as well have been alone which meant that the person next to me flinched when I went to grab them at the ChestBurster scene.

I don't think you should feel bad, but maybe (to protect yourself...) be circumspect with your timing and choice of film? Some things are better than others as a solo activity Smile