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Dating Thread 224: Keeping it casual or searching for The One

971 replies

WeWantTheFinestWines · 24/01/2022 17:37

I'll cut and paste the rules in a minute

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Daydreamscometrue · 04/02/2022 06:53

@Thisisworsethananticpated

curmudgeonly007 Yes he a pretty excited If he sends me a dick pic I’ll scream , he’s been quite restrained thus far !!!!
Sounds promising! Fingers crossed no dick pic!
BelladiMamma · 04/02/2022 06:54

@cravingthelook

My goodness I have missed a few threads

I have recently found a good one - I think.

Seeing him again Saturday and we are going to have the chat about how we moving forward at his request. He is stepping up, following through on what he says and isn't afraid to actually speak to me.

I'll decide if it's a goer on Saturday... I'm still apprehensive, because you can never really tell.

He does make me smile... and make me a little excited and relaxed all at the same time.

So pleased to hear this! Hope you're ok 💖
ButterflyOfShay · 04/02/2022 06:57

Hey stranger @cravingthelook! That’s lovely news 💕💕

WeWantTheFinestWines · 04/02/2022 09:10

Hey craving great to see you back with good - potentially great - news 😊

OP posts:
cravingthelook · 04/02/2022 11:39

Thanks all... I've not named the new iron. I'll name him after tomorrow.

It's looking promising but I am on guard for a smidgen longer.

The three dates we've had have been good. He doesn't message everyday. We have a couple of phone calls a week (his preferred method of communication when not in person).
We talk about juggling our schedules to make things fit as opposed to endless texts about free days/times.
Sex is great (had two sessions, second was better) he's considerate and compatible and quite good at helping me relax.
He lives an hours drive away, it has never been a problem for him to travel - even just for coffee.
I will happily travel to his, it's just not worked out that way yet.

VanGoghsDog · 04/02/2022 11:46

[quote gelatodipistacchio]@curmudgeonly007 my ex acted like he enjoyed sex and cuddling in the beginning, but very quickly made it clear that I WASN'T TO CUDDLE HIM IN BED when he may be asleep/falling asleep or he would be extremely cross and give me some sharp words.

After a time he also stopped wanting to have sex. He didn't like the way that I reacted to his (abusive) behaviour and he withheld affection as a result.

This absolutely killed me and my self esteem, in part because I assumed that all men want sex and affection as a basic need - made me feel so ugly and worthless.

I've since read about this and men withholding sex and affection happens more than one might expect. So unfortunately, it can't be assumed![/quote]
My ex sulked if I didn't want sex when he did (usually 3am when I had to get up for work at 5.30am, or waking me up at 7sm at the weekend when I was tired from long week days and wanted to lie in), then when I would suggest "an early night", he'd just ignore me, and not feel like sex when I did (though to be honest by then I never did but was trying to meet him halfway!)

I'm not really sure why some people think sulking makes you more likely to want to shag them. I had this conversation with him so many times.

Yes, also made me feel worthless.

He would still see himself as "someone who likes sex", but all on his terms. I prefer someone who likes women to enjoy sex. He didn't care how it was for me.

Stayingstrongish · 04/02/2022 12:49

@VanGoghsDog that’s so true… not all guys at all care whether we enjoy it!

ButterflyOfShay · 04/02/2022 14:08

It’s weird isn’t it how you can never predict what sex with someone is going to be like. I’ve shagged a guy who I thought it was going to be amazing, and it was the worst sex I ever had. Shagged a guy I wasn’t really into, and it was mindblowing, probably the best ever! And one guy who was petite, had the biggest dong. You can just never predict!!!

mrgoodatfixingrhings · 04/02/2022 14:34

@VanGoghsDog

My ex was also like this, her preferred time was 3/4 in the morning when she had decided to come home drunk and it was then or never Sad. I would be fast asleep, dc in bed also.
Utterly soul destroying to be only wanted when she was pissed.

Lovemusic33 · 04/02/2022 14:55

I think I will download bumble and hinge tonight in hope of more variety.

A iron stopped talking to me a week of so ago after he realised we have different views on a slightly political subject, today he messaged me saying he had changed his mind and he wants to meet me, apparently he can’t afford to be fussy. So far I haven’t replied but I really want to reply with “I can afford to be fussy”.

A old iron who I have remained friends with is pestering me for a date next week. I really need new irons.

Stayingstrongish · 04/02/2022 15:08

@Lovemusic33 please send that reply! Grin

That cracked me up. He actually said “I can’t afford to be fussy”?!

ButterflyOfShay · 04/02/2022 15:08

Did he actually say he can’t afford to be fussy????? I swear OLD gets better and better 🥴

ButterflyOfShay · 04/02/2022 15:09

@Lovemusic33 I reckon you should say dregs don't interest you? Soz and bye?? Just wow x

Lanesdown · 04/02/2022 15:22

Hi all, what is the etiquette when you get a message "hi want to chat?" when OLD but having viewed their profile, they're not for you. Do you respond explaining they're not for you or not respond at all? Thank you

Lovemusic33 · 04/02/2022 15:35

[quote Stayingstrongish]@Lovemusic33 please send that reply! Grin

That cracked me up. He actually said “I can’t afford to be fussy”?![/quote]
Yes….the disagreement was over fox hunting (something I’m strongly against), though it wasn’t really a disagreement he just announced he didn’t want to talk to me anymore, now suddenly he says “I can’t afford to be fussy” 🤣

gelatodipistacchio · 04/02/2022 15:40

I can't afford to be fussy.

What a charmer! How can you refuse such a tempting offer? Grin

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/02/2022 16:11

Well I’m off to my sex date
Pray for me ladies ! And gents
Feel awful left the kids with teenage babysitter and kfc ! Bad mummy

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/02/2022 16:12

ButterflyOfShay
Your post made me laugh and nervous !!!!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/02/2022 16:13

I can't afford to be fussy.

Sweet Jesus
What a Romeo

Stayingstrongish · 04/02/2022 16:15

@Thisisworsethananticpated enjoy your sex date! Bet the kids are loving their kfc

Knutface · 04/02/2022 16:21

‘Can’t afford to be fussy’ WTF!!

Had my date yesterday with Mr Red (this was the one with his phd in the profile). We got on ok, he is ok looking but I’m not crazy about him. He didn’t seem out of touch intelligent (unless he was dumbing down for me lol). I’m looking for a FWB type situation so I’m thinking that this could be a good thing, I obviously want someone that I like but not someone that I would fall madly in love with! Tbh I do prefer the guy that ghosted me but it’s slim pickings where I’m located. Will see Mr Red again if he is keen.

Gettingonwithit12 · 04/02/2022 16:30

Good luck @Thisisworsethananticpated ! Keep us all posted.

Jeez, ‘I can’t afford to be fussy’, just when I thought they couldn’t get any worse! Yet again, what the hell is wrong with these people

curmudgeonly007 · 04/02/2022 18:18

@Thisisworsethananticpated. Good luck and have a great time and be safe.

, ‘I can’t afford to be fussy’

MayEye · 04/02/2022 18:24

@Lanesdown

Hi all, what is the etiquette when you get a message "hi want to chat?" when OLD but having viewed their profile, they're not for you. Do you respond explaining they're not for you or not respond at all? Thank you
@Lanesdown I didn’t tend to respond if I didn’t want to pursue the chat with someone because you are risking inviting abuse. Plus on the likes of POF you might be getting 20 ‘Hi’ messages a day from people you wouldn’t swipe on at all so could be all day politely binning them off!

Good luck @Thisisworsethananticpated looking forward to the update.

Great to see your update @cravingthelook - hope tomorrow goes well :)

Nothing to report for me - not seeing Mr L this weekend which I hate but no choice…roll on next Friday Smile

JangolinaPitt · 04/02/2022 18:36

Obviously can’t answer for @ButterflyOfShay but ime the best two lovers I have had ever (including current) were the least ‘endowed’ dong-wise.